Shattered Memories
by PandaxMonium
Summary: When Kurt's life turns upside down and everything falls apart, there's no way to glue it back together. Karofsky reaches his boiling point and there's no turning back. All that's left is for Blaine to move on or fight from fading away.
1. Promises

**Shattered Memories**

After Kurt returns to McKinley, not everything falls into place as it should. While Blaine and Kurt are doing their best to stay together, time has allowed Karofsky's jealousy to silently eat away at his thoughts. And the explosion that results from the green-eyed monster changes Kurt's life forever. When everything falls apart, nothing can return to its original perfection. All that's left is for Blaine to rebuild their love from the shattered memories.

(For those who are curious, this starts somewhere in between Born This Way. It's right before Kurt returns to McKinley, but do know it will take its own course separate from the show.)

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><p><span>Chapter 1 - Promises<span>

_Panicked voices filled the room with shouts, stifled sobs echoed off the walls, but none of cacophony made sense to Kurt. "KURT!" Someone yelled from far away. "KURT!" He could hear more people screaming out his name, fear evident in their tones. But their voices were distant and the pounding in his ears overpowered the noise. He could see people gathering around him with tears streaming down their eyes. But his vision was becoming unfocused and he could barely make out Blaine's figure right next to him. He tried to speak, but something caught his eye. As he reached out to Blaine, he realized something was missing. His bracelet, where had his bracelet gone? He turned his head to look around, but a sharp pain seared through his body. The last thing he saw before he blacked out was the pool of blood that surrounded him._

x x x

"I don't know Kurt," Blaine sighed "I don't trust him. You know what he's saying is bullshit."

"That much is obvious, but I think that he's too scared to do anything about it. Santana's got him trapped."

Blaine grumbled in reply and sat down on Kurt's bed. He couldn't help but worry about the dangers that Kurt would soon be facing. Even if Karofsky was pretending to be on an anti-bullying campaign with Santana, there was still no telling what he could do. Of course, there wasn't much Blaine could do either. Kurt missed McKinley and the Glee club terribly, and he couldn't stop him from returning. As hard as it would be to be apart from Kurt, he knew that his boyfriend could only be truly comfortable and happy at McKinley. So there was simply no arguing.

_Still_, he thought, _after the move that Karofsky pulled last time I don't think Kurt's safe_.

"I know you're scared for me," Kurt whispered as he sat next to Blaine. He placed his hand on Blaine's thigh and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "But I'll be okay." He smiled and took hold of Blaine's hand.

"I'm just worried that he'll get you all alone like last time and try something else..." mumbled Blaine, still doubtful. "He bottles up his anger and his emotions and it can explode at any second, Kurt. He's too unpredictable."

Kurt grabbed Blaine's chin and turned his face to look at him. "Look at me. Nothing's going to happen to me, alright? I'll be too busy texting you during the day and singing in Glee to even notice his existence or be around him. And God knows there are no other openly gay kids at school so you won't have to worry about that either."

Blaine let out a laugh in spite of himself. "You know I'm not worried about that."

"Cocky, aren't you?"

"I like to call it confidence," Blaine smiled. He pressed his hand to Kurt's face and stroked it. Kurt felt a blush creep up his cheeks as Blaine leaned in for a kiss. Just as Blaine's lips brushed his, he pulled back and squeaked. There was silence for a moment, and then Blaine started laughing. Kurt stood up and turned away, trying to hide the blush that was now extending to his ears.

"Did you just squeak?" Blaine said, trying to stifle his laughter.

Kurt turned around only to glare at him, before he went upstairs and left the room. "Hey, why are you leaving?" shouted Blaine as he ran up the stairs after him. He chuckled as he caught up to Kurt in the kitchen. Leaning against the doorframe, he crossed his arms and looked at Kurt expectantly.

"What?" he said when he caught Blaine looking at him.

"Why on Earth did you squeak?"

Kurt blushed again and turned around. "I'm just not used to the whole...you know..." He mumbled.

"What?" Blaine said, a smile forming across his lips.

"_You know_..." Kurt turned to emphasize his words and he made eye contact briefly before turning back around and digging through the pantry.

"No, actually, I don't know," Blaine said, clearly highly amused.

"I'm just...not used to doing..._that_."

"Doing what?"

"_That_."

"Kurt, I can tell you're nervous because you're looking through the pantry for baking ingredients." Blaine laughed. "You're not going to avoid the question by baking cookies." Blaine could see how red Kurt's ears had gotten and he moved in closer behind him.

"It's just...I know we've already done it and everything but it was only that one time and I just get really flustered about it." He muttered, barely audible.

"About what?" Blaine said, inching close enough to Kurt that he could smell his strawberry-scented shampoo.

Kurt grumbled in response, but before he could say anything coherent, Blaine took hold of his hand, turned him around and pulled him up to his chest. "About this?" He asked, grinning evilly as he leaned in and pressed his lips fully to Kurt's. He closed his eyes as he relished in the feeling of Kurt's soft lips against his, the warmth that slowly found its way to his skin. With one hand, he held Kurt's waist and pulled him into a hug.

"You're cute when you're flustered," he whispered in Kurt's ear.

At that statement, Kurt pushed his boyfriend away playfully and walked out of the kitchen. He could feel the heat rising to his face, the burning feeling that was now expanding across his cheeks. If there was one thing he both loved and hated about Blaine, it was his damn charm and the power it had over him.

"...I really am going to miss you though." Blaine sighed, still looking at Kurt from the kitchen doorway.

Kurt turned around and gave him a sad smile. "I know. But we'll have weekends and afternoons together, right?" He looked into Blaine's hazel eyes, wishing that there was a way to see them every day. But things were going to change and he wouldn't be able to see Blaine as often as he used to. He knew the transition would be difficult. No more spontaneous plans in the middle of the day, no more morning coffee. Everything from that point on would have to be planned ahead of time to fit both of their schedules. Blaine would soon be busy with the Warblers, and since the Glee club had an entirely different rehearsal schedule, they would see less of each other. Looking into his eyes, he knew he was thinking the exact same thing. They would be losing the comfort of being around each other, the safety of their previously perfect, peaceful world.

But it was a choice that Kurt had to make. Whether he had to stand up to the threats or the slushies, he knew that his heart belonged at McKinley with the rest of his friends. It was his home, after all, and it was difficult to imagine living any other life. Being with the Warblers at Dalton was a great experience and it allowed him to meet the person standing before him right now. But his lesson was learned, and there was no more need to go on. What he learned from Blaine and the Warblers during his time at Dalton was something that Kurt would have to put to practice. He couldn't simply sit there, hidden in his haven and not stand up to his bully.

What better time to test out his courage than now, with a strong group of friends and a lovely boyfriend standing by his side? Of course, he didn't feel entirely brave. He was scared about what was in store for him, but despite his fear he wanted to go back.

"I'm really going to miss you too Blaine..." Kurt whispered. Before Blaine could reply however, Kurt cut him off. "Oh, wait! I have something!" He said smiling, as a look of dawning spread over his face. He rushed out of the room and ran back in with a box in his hand.

"What's that?" Blaine asked.

Kurt grinned and grabbed his hand, lacing his fingers between Blaine's as he pulled him to the living room. "Well, I know that it's only been a few weeks but I really wanted to do something that would make this official. It's a little corny, I know, but I figured since we're both going to be spending some time away from each other, this would be a nice way to keep us...connected." Kurt blushed a little as he explained. "Close your eyes."

"What, and let you take advantage of me?" Blaine retorted, his eyes squinting.

"Blaine!" Kurt shouted, hitting him on the arm.

"Okay, okay, I was kidding." Blaine said, and he closed his eyes obediently. Kurt pulled out a hand-made bracelet from the box, made from blue and red string, and he tied it around Blaine's left hand. The pattern consisted of diagonal lines from the alternating colors, and in the middle of the bracelet there was a red heart stitched in with the letters K and B placed inside.

Blaine opened his eyes and looked down at his wrist. He smiled as he saw Kurt flush red and he brought his hand up to caress his face. "Did you make this for me?" He asked in a gentle voice. Kurt nodded and looked down, too embarrassed to meet his eyes.

"Can I put the other one on you?"

Kurt nodded his response and Blaine gently tied the other identical bracelet to Kurt's left hand. He leaned in and pressed his lips to Kurt's forehead. "I love it." Kurt smiled and leaned his head into the crook of Blaine's shoulder. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's back, who reciprocated.

"Thank you..." Kurt whispered.

"For what?" Blained replied just as softly.

"For being here with me."

Blaine pulled Kurt a little closer. "I'm _always_ going to be here. For whatever you need."

A moment passed, as the two held on to each other. Neither spoke, they were far too busy trying to memorize every little detail. Blaine ran his fingers through Kurt's hair, trying to capture the feel of it, its scent. He stroked his back, following the line of his spine down halfway then back up. Kurt pressed his ear closer to Blaine's chest, listening to his heart drumming against his chest, capturing the tune in his mind.

"...I'm a little scared, Blaine."

"I know, I know you are. But, you're going to be okay." Blaine cooed, stroking his boyfriend's hair. "You have all of us to take care of you, and like you said, Karofsky is too scared to do anything. I won't **let **him do anything to you."

"Promise?" Kurt asked.

"Promise."

Whether or not he could keep that promise though, that was an entirely different matter.

* * *

><p>Definitely not one of my best, but it's my first Klaine fanfiction and I really wanted to get the idea down. I'm also writing late at night, so don't worry the quality will improve :) Chapter 2 should be coming later this week! Hope you enjoyed.<p> 


	2. Home, Again

I followed the storyline for the BTW episode a little, but changed up the song scene. I wanted to make it my own. Anyways, I present to you chapter 2! Enjoy and leave some reviews! :)

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><p><strong>Chapter 2 - Home, Again<strong>

_It had been Puck's idea. The party, the liquor, the fact that the whole football team had been invited. Kurt had thought about turning down the offer, but it was a weekend and it was the only way he would be able to see Blaine. With their conflicting rehearsal schedules, it had been impossible to see Blaine for almost two weeks and there was no way that Kurt could go another weekend without seeing him. But with all the homework that weekend, Burt had set down the rules. No going out that weekend whatsoever. He wanted Kurt to spend time away from Blaine, especially because he didn't want his grades slipping._

_That's when Puck came in._

_"Come on, man, are you scared or something?"_

_"No Puckerman, but I don't want to run the risk of being forced to work in the garage with my Versace coat on as a form of punishment." Kurt huffed, shuddering at the thought of it. "Now please go away, I need to get to class."_

_He walked ahead of Puck, weaving in and out of the crowd in the hallway. Puck sped up after him, his guitar hanging across his back. "Dude, I knew you were prissy but this is taking it a bit too far. I thought your boyfriend was more important than your clothes, but whatever, I was just trying to help." He mumbled as he walked past Kurt._

_"What was that?" Kurt asked in an insulted tone._

_"Look, you've been whining for weeks about how you can't see your boytoy. Don't take it personally but everyone's getting tired of it. I just thought you'd like a chance to see him, but if you don't want to go to the party just because your old man will get mad and you don't want to get your clothes dirty, forget it." Puck said, then turned to walk off._

_Kurt sighed, and looked down at his bracelet. It __had__ been a while since he had gotten to spend time alone with Blaine. Of course, it wasn't like he would die if he didn't see him. But with everything going on at school lately, he felt that he needed to see him. What was the problem with being a teenager for a night and sneaking out of the house to go to a party?_

x x x

"I want you to call me if something happens." Blaine repeated, as they stood in line for their morning coffee. "I will come straight away the moment you need me alright? Even if he so much as says something rude to you, I want you to call me."

Kurt rolled his eyes in response. "I appreciate you being the dapper knight-in-shining-armor for me, but really it's going to be okay."

"I just want you to be safe Kurt. I don't trust him." Blaine said bitterly. "I'm serious. As soon as anything happens I will be here ASAP."

"And how exactly do you plan to get here ASAP when you're going to be hours away from Lima?" Kurt chuckled as he moved forward to place their coffee orders. "Medium drip and a grande non-fat mocha, please."

Blaine gave a small smile at the gesture. "You know my coffee order?" He teased.

"Well, since you brought it up, I just want to take the time to say that we did end up together like When Harry Met Sally." Kurt grinned as he said so.

Blaine smiled in return. "Anyways, since I play the part of Harry in this relationship I have to be here to protect you Kurt. I'm serious. And, I'll be around here today anyways so I can come at a moment's notice."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kurt raised his eyebrows suspiciously.

"The Warblers have a small gig during the day time." Blaine said coolly. When it came to surprises, he was much better than Kurt at hiding his plans.

Kurt groaned, knowing something was going on. "Well, the point is I don't want to call you over dumb things Blaine. I can handle whatever they do to me today. I'm not going to call you for a few rude names, or for a slushie to the face, or even for being pushed into a locker. I'm going back to face what I ran away from and I have to be able to stand on my own. I don't want you to come in and save me."

Blaine looked shocked at this sudden outburst.

"I didn't mean that I don't need you, Blaine. But I'm tired of playing the damsel in distress. You were there to help me when I was being bullied, when I was terrified. You've done so much for me already, I'm tired of always being the one who needs help, you know? I want to be able to stand up for myself for once. Maybe if I learn to do that, next time I'll be the one helping you instead of the other way around." Kurt finished, looking both dejected and nervous.

Blaine grabbed both of their coffees and motioned for them to go outside. He didn't speak until they were both settled in the car and ready to head to school. It took Blaine quite a while to think of an appropriate response. Kurt watched from the passenger's seat as he saw several emotions playing out on Blaine's face. It seemed as though his entire disposition changed. His shoulders got stiff and his eyes became downcast. He gripped onto the steering wheel tightly even though they were still parked outside the Lima Bean.

"Is something wrong?" Kurt whispered, growing concerned.

Blaine sighed and turned to face Kurt. "No, it's just...I don't want you to feel like the damsel in distress. I never meant to make you feel that way." Kurt looked like he was about to talk, but Blaine shook his head. "It's not your fault that you're feeling this way, it's mine. Maybe I should have said something earlier Kurt, but...this isn't about 'saving' you or anything of the sort. I'm not here to be your knight in shining armor. If anything, you've been my knight." Blaine laughed bitterly.

Kurt opened his mouth slightly, confused. "What do you mean?"

Blaine looked straight into his eyes and smiled sadly. "What I mean is that I don't see this as a job. And you shouldn't feel like the damsel in distress, because if anything you've helped me more than I've helped you." He was quiet for a moment, measuring what he was going to say next. He placed his hand on Kurt's and squeezed it. "I don't think you have any idea how much you've done for me..."

It was a weird sight. Kurt had never seen Blaine looking so serious or so visibly distressed. He could tell his boyfriend was trying to be as ambiguous as possible, but he wasn't doing a good job of hiding his feelings. His hands had gone pale and his eyes still hadn't returned to their previous joyful light. He wanted to prod more and ask what the hell was going on, but he felt that this was probably going to be a conversation saved for the future.

Kurt leaned in and kissed Blaine on the cheek.

"Aww come on, I just made myself vulnerable to you and all I get is a cheek kiss?" Blaine whined as Kurt blushed beet red and looked away.

"Cool it, Anderson." Kurt mumbled.

Blaine laughed as he start driving towards McKinley to drop Kurt off. The mood in the car eased back to playfulness, but Blaine's words stayed in Kurt's mind.

"You always find a way of ruining my efforts to make sweet moments, don't you?" Kurt said, glaring at Blaine.

"It's cute to see you embarrassed when you pull moves like that," Blaine said sticking out his tongue. A while later, he pulled up into the student parking lot and turned to look at Kurt once again. "Anyways, you know the deal. Call me if anything happens."

Kurt gave him a look in response.

"Okay, okay, just if you get anything worse than a slushie." Blaine amended. He leaned in and kissed Kurt on the cheek, and watched as his boyfriend got out of the car and walked towards the school entrance. _I hope he makes it through the morning okay_, he thought.

* * *

><p>Kurt had spent the entire morning in the office, working out last minute details concerning his transfer. He had to fix his schedule, fill out forms and talk to Mr. Figgins again about precautions that should be taken in case Kurt met any more trouble.<p>

It wasn't until lunch that Kurt was able to finally surprise his friends. He ran with anticipation to the courtyard outside, knowing that Mercedes was waiting down by the tables with the rest of his friends. His heart was beating wildly and he was positively relishing in every step he took towards them. When he reached the stop of the steps he announced his return. His friends broke out in applause and laughter as he ran down the steps to hug Mercedes, Brittany and Tina. But before he could do anything else, Mercedes turned him around and pointed to the courtyard entrance.

"There's some people here that want to say goodbye to you." She said, smiling.

Kurt gasped at the group that was now walking towards him. The Warblers piled in behind Blaine as he stopped in front of him.

Blaine gave him a smile, closed his eyes, and began singing.

_I walked across an empty land, _

_I knew the pathway like the back of my hand._

_I felt the Earth beneath my feet,_

_sat by the river and it made me complete._

_Oh simple thing, where have you gone? _

_I'm getting old and I need something to rely on._

_So tell me when you're gonna let me in,_

_I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin._

He took Kurt's hand and pulled him down the steps, not caring who was looking. A crowd had gathered around the group and everyone's eyes were on Kurt and Blaine.

_I came across a fallen tree,_

_I felt the branches of it looking at me._

_Is this the place we used to love?_

_Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?_

_Oh simple thing, where have you gone?_

_I'm getting old and I need something rely on._

_So tell me when you're gonna let me in,_

_I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin._

He pulled Kurt into an embrace, placing his hands on his waist. And out of nowhere, he began swaying to the music. He pulled Kurt's left hand into his own and started to slow dance. Kurt blushed immediately, but didn't resist. It didn't matter if the whole school was staring, it didn't matter that two boys were now slow dancing in front of everyone; all they cared about was being with each other in that moment.

_And if you have a minute why don't we go_

_talk about it somewhere only we know._

_This could be the end of everything,_

_so why don't we go somewhere only we know?_

_Somewhere only we know..._

_And if you have a minute why don't we go_

_talk about it somewhere only we know._

_This could be the end of everything,_

_so why don't we go,_

_so why don't we go..._

Blaine kept singing as he danced with Kurt, pulling him away to twirl him and then wrap him back up in his arms. He stepped back and merged with the Warblers who formed a circle around Kurt.

_And if you have a minute why don't we go_

_talk about it somewhere only we know._

_This could be the end of everything,_

_so why don't we go somewhere only we know?_

_Somewhere only we know..._

_Somewhere only we know._

On the last note, all of the Warblers ran towards Kurt and hugged him. The crowd of students that had gathered around to watch the performance were all clapping, much to Kurt's surprise. But all that really mattered to him in that moment were his friends and Blaine. After hugging all of the Warblers separately, he ran towards Blaine and jumped into his arms. Tears were streaming down both of their cheeks as they held on to each other.

"Thank you..." Kurt whispered, his head tucked into Blaine's shoulder.

"I told you I'd be around today..." Blaine smiled. "I wanted to make sure that your first day back was amazing, no matter what happened."

Kurt looked up at Blaine and smiled. They pressed their foreheads together and sighed. This was going to be one of their last moments spent together before they were forced to deal with the distance. "It _was_ amazing." He pulled his left hand up to show Blaine the bracelet. "And you can be sure that we'll make it. I'm never saying goodbye to you."

They hugged each other once more and broke away to return to their group of friends. Kurt took his turn to hug every single one of them, even Puckerman. Blaine shook all of their hands and then stepped back. "Well, since I skipped my morning classes it's time for me to go. Make sure to keep an eye out for Kurt, guys."

"Don't worry, we'll look out for him." Sam said patting Kurt on the back.

"Yeah, I'll make sure all the jocks chill out." Puck said.

"Thanks. I'll see you all later, then." Blaine grinned and followed the Warblers out of the courtyard. Kurt wiped away the last of his tears and laughed as he was attacked with more hugs by Mercedes and Rachel. In that moment, everything was alright. _I'm home_, Kurt thought. The fear of his first day back had melted away with his friends' reassurance and Blaine's surprise. He was so caught up in the joy of it all that he didn't notice the only person who didn't seem happy about the performance.

Somewhere in the distance, the boy stood under the shade of a tree, glaring at Kurt and his friends. Someone came up behind him and looked in the direction of his gaze. "You gonna do something about this?" He asked the pensive boy.

He stayed quiet, not looking back at his friend. "If he shows up here with his boyfriend again, I might have to."

"I thought you were a part of that Bully Whips group or something," his friend laughed.

"Like they say, keep your friends close and your enemies closer." The boy chuckled. "I have to play the part well, don't I?" He balled his hand into a fist and after staring a little longer, he stalked off.


	3. Innocence

Hey guys! So this has been a pretty fast update. Believe it or not, sometimes the author gets more impatient than the readers. I enjoy reading the reviews and getting notifications about being added to story alerts and favorite stories. So I couldn't resist, and I've updated hoping more people will see the story and more people will review :). Anyways, hope you enjoy!

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><p><strong>Chapter 3 - Innocence<strong>

_"I have never liked anyone in this room." Puck grinned as he looked around at everyone. The rest of the crowd glared at him, and everyone took a sip of their vodka. There hadn't been enough liquor present for everyone to take a shot at every statement, so they had to make their resources last as long as possible. (Admittedly, many of them were already buzzed just from the loud music echoing off the walls and the heat of the game)._

_Kurt looked over at Blaine as he lifted his glass up in recognition and took a sip from his own drink. From the corner of his eyes he noticed Karofsky eyeing him hesitantly before he too, took a sip from his drink._

_It was then that comprehension dawned on Kurt. This whole time he hadn't been bullied because of what he was or because Karofsky hated him. Kurt didn't understand how he couldn't have seen it before. The side glances that were thrown his way, the small smiles that were quickly covered up with smirks, the way he would always catch Karofsky watching him...The whole time it hadn't been because Kurt __**disgusted **__Karofsky...but exactly the opposite._

_He felt as if all of the air had been punched out of his gut. It was a disgruntling realization to make, that someone would hide their feelings for someone else by pushing them, threatening them, and being violent. Kurt almost felt sick at the thought but he was too experienced by now to ignore the problem. If he wanted to deal with Karofsky once and for all, it had to be confronted._

_He stood up abruptly, excusing himself to the bathroom while giving a barely perceptible gesture to Karofsky to follow him. Unsure of whether to follow, Karofsky looked up at him and searched Kurt's eyes, seeking an answer. Kurt gave another nod and went up the stairs to the hallway so that they could speak more privately. After a two minute wait, Karofsky also excused himself and went upstairs as well under the pretense of looking for more hidden liquor._

_No one thought anything of the two boys' absence, they were far too intoxicated to care. That is, no one except Blaine, who had seen the interaction of looks and noticed Kurt's gestures towards the boy._

x x x

Kurt sat in the choir room all by himself, breathing in the moment. It was his first day back, but with everything that happened at lunch he didn't feel ready to go back to class. He didn't want his mood to be dampened by the boring teachers and the lectures. He just wanted his first day back to be the best, so that no matter what happened in the days to come, he could have something to keep to himself.

He sat at the piano, playing around with the keys, unsure of what to play. His thoughts shifted to Blaine, and he smiled. He remembered the first time his eyes fell on him, as he walked past him on the stairs. How they shook hands and Blaine had grabbed him and started sprinting down the hallway to the Warblers' meeting. He remembered how he found comfort when he started crying after telling his story about Karofsky. He thought of the long and painful months that it took before Blaine realized his feelings for him. And then he remembered their first kiss, that sweet moment in which all worry was melted away with a simple graze of his lips.

He closed his eyes, his fingers poised over the keys, and he started singing.

_Remember those walls I built?_

_Well baby they're tumbling down,_

_and they didn't even put up a fight,_

_they didn't even make a sound._

_I found a way to let you in,_

_but I never really had a doubt,_

_standing in the light of your halo_

_I got my angel now._

Outside the choir room, Rachel was holding a video camera, taping the moment from the crack in the door. She had followed Kurt after she realized he wasn't going to class. True to her word, she was going to keep an eye on him and she didn't want to let him go off alone to be vulnerable to jocks. But as she had been on her way to her journalism class, her video camera was at hand. She was supposed to make a video of several interviews, but that wasn't important. Taping Kurt singing wasn't only far more interesting, it could help for some innocent blackmailing at a later point in time.

_It's like I've been awakened._

_Every rule I had you breakin'_

_It's the risk that I'm takin'_

_I ain't never gonna shut you out._

_Everywhere I'm looking now_

_I'm surrounded by your embrace._

_Baby I can see your halo_

_you know you're my saving grace._

_You're everything I need and more,_

_it's written all over your face._

_Baby I can feel your halo_

_pray it won't fade away._

Rachel walked in unnoticed, and set the camera down on a desk by the door so that it could continue recording. She tip-toed over to the stands and sat down in a chair, closing her eyes to listen to the song.

_I can feel your halo, halo, halo._

_I can see your halo, halo, halo._

_I can feel your halo, halo, halo._

_I can see your halo, halo, halo._

_Hit me like a ray of sun_

_burning through my darkest night,_

_you're the only one that I want_

_think I'm addicted to your light._

_I swore I'd never fall again_

_but this don't even feel like falling,_

_gravity can't forget_

_to pull me back to the ground again._

She opened her eyes and looked over at Kurt. She could see the emotions playing across his face, could hear the passion in his voice as he sang. And it made her smile...Sure, she might not have gotten Blaine herself, but seeing Kurt so happy, so _alive_... was worth it.

_Feels like I've been awakened,_

_every rule I had you breakin'_

_the risk that I'm takin'_

_I'm never gonna shut you out._

_Everywhere I'm looking now_

_I'm surrounded by your embrace._

_Baby I can see your halo_

_you know you're my saving grace._

_You're everything I need and more,_

_it's written all over your face._

She walked over to the piano and leaned against it gently enough that Kurt still hadn't noticed her presence. She held her head in her hands as she watched him.

_Baby I can feel your halo,_

_pray it won't fade away._

_I can feel your halo halo, halo._

_I can see your halo, halo, halo._

_I can feel your halo, halo, halo._

_I can see your halo, halo, halo..._

It was then that Rachel's elbow slipped and banged against the piano, startling Kurt.

"RACHEL!" He shouted, falling back from the piano seat and hitting the ground.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" She said as she ran to him to help him up.

"Jeez, I'm not even back for four hours and you're already acting insane." He muttered as he shook the dirt off his clothes.

She smiled apologetically at him as he took his seat back at the piano. There was an awkward silence during which Rachel looked at him with unreadable eyes and Kurt simply stared suspiciously at her.

"You really like him, don't you?" Rachel said softly.

Kurt felt the blush creeping up his cheeks and he turned away from her, not daring to make eye contact. "Why don't you sing this to him? You were thinking about him while singing it weren't you?" She asked.

Kurt only gave a nod in response, feeling his throat constricting from the rush of emotions he was feeling. He didn't say anything for a while, simply looked down at his feet and avoided eye contact with Rachel.

"I just...I don't want to go too fast."

"What do you mean?" Rachel said.

"It's been a few months since I first met him, and only three weeks since we started dating...I don't want to mess this up by singing an overly-clingy song for him or suffocating him." Kurt mumbled.

"But singing this wouldn't be overly clingy would it? It's not like you're telling him that you're in love with him." At this, Kurt almost choked. Rachel turned her eyes suspiciously before slightly parting her lips. "...You're not...in love with him, are you?"

"No, no! It's m-much too soon for that. That's why I don't want to give him the wrong idea. It's only been three weeks Rachel." Kurt blushed beet red and then stood up.

"Well, listen...It's just a song about appreciation. He was there for you when you needed him right? Maybe this could be your way of saying thanks." Rachel smiled at him, patted him gently on the shoulder and then left the choir room, picking up her video camera on the way.

Kurt watched her as she turned the corner and left. He sat back down at the piano bench and sighed. Rachel always found a way of throwing him off sync or making him feel unsettled.

_It really is too soon to say that_, Kurt thought. _I really like him. But I don't want to scare him off implying that my feelings are stronger than they are..._

He thought about all of the people he had scared away before. He had almost damaged his friendship with Finn by being as clingy and pushy as he was. And even though Sam didn't say anything, he had almost ruined his reputation by being adamant. Not to mention the fact that he was so painfully obvious about his feelings whenever Blaine was around - he was surprised the boy had liked him back.

He wasn't going to risk messing it up so soon, especially not because of being clingy or pushing too far. _I won't tell him that I love him until the time is absolutely right_, he thought. _Which means, I keep my mouth shut for the next six months at the very __**least**__._

"Daydreaming, Hummel?"

Kurt turned around and froze in his seat. Karofsky was standing in the doorway, a smirk evident on his face. Kurt's face paled as Karofsky approached him.

"W-what do you want, Karofsky?" He stammered, trying to hang on to his wits.

Karofsky smiled and took a few steps towards Kurt. "I saw you during lunch. That guy was singing to you," he said. Kurt couldn't read his eyes and wasn't sure where the conversation was headed.

"Yeah, so what?" Kurt managed to retort.

"Is he your sissy boyfriend or something?" He held Kurt's eyes for a moment, and Kurt almost thought he saw fear flicker past them.

"What if he is?" Kurt said, and with more confidence, turned away to play some more chords on the piano.

"Well," Karofsky muttered as he walked over to Kurt and leaned against the piano, "I just thought I'd let you know that while I have to tolerate one fag in this school, I'm not going to put up with more."

Kurt scoffed at this. "You say that as if you weren't gay yourself."

"Listen," Karofsky hissed in response, crouching low so that his head was level with Kurt's, "I have ways of making your life miserable, Hummel. Don't push me. Just tell your faggot boytoy to stay away from this school and from me. You disgust me enough as it is."

Kurt swallowed. He could feel the hairs on the back of his neck standing up, and a bead of sweat trailing down the back of his head. He didn't show his fear though. "Oh really? And how exactly do you intend to make my life miserable when you're on an anti-bullying club, Karofsky? You'll be out of the school in a heartbeat the moment you do anything."

Karofsky only smiled. He leaned in to Kurt's face and pulled him into a hug. To anyone walking past the door in the hallway, it would seem as if the boys were just sharing an embrace. But Karofsky was holding Kurt tightly, his grip digging into Kurt's back. He brought his mouth close to Kurt's ear and whispered, "Your boytoy doesn't go to this school, Hummel. There's loopholes in every rule. I might not be able to do anything to you, but I can sure as hell do something to him. And I'm sure, if you want to keep things around here civil, you won't be telling anyone this either."

"Kurt! What's going on?" Finn sounded out of breath. He had rushed into the room the moment he saw Karofsky there.

Karofsky turned around, letting go of Kurt. "Hey dude, chill out. We're just working out our differences, isn't that right?" He looked at Kurt with a glint in his eye.

Kurt only nodded. Finn didn't look convinced, but before he could say anything else, Karofsky smiled at the both of them and left the room. Kurt watched as he walked away, trying to process all of his words. He turned away from Finn, making it look like he was busy gathering his sheet music together. But his main concern was regaining his composure. He could feel the sweat on his hands, the heat that had reached all the way to his ears, and he could feel that he had surely gotten paler.

"What was up with that? Are you okay?" Finn said in a concerned tone. He approached Kurt and put his arm around him.

"Nothing, I'm okay. He was just being weird." He flashed a bright smile at Finn and rolled his eyes. "You know, just keeping up his friendly act." He grabbed his backpack, put all of the papers back in and hung it over his shoulder. "Anyways, I have to get to class, I can't skip the last two periods."

Finn sat down at the bench and sighed. He knew Kurt was lying to him, but he couldn't seem to get anything out of him. He took out his phone and dialed the first person that came to mind.

"Finn?"

"Hey, Blaine. Sorry for calling you in the middle of the day dude, but-"

"Is everything okay? Did something happen with Kurt?" Blaine automatically said, starting to panic.

"Yeah, everything's fine. I mean, at least I think it is." Finn said. "I just, I ran into Kurt and Karofsky hugging in the choir room."

There was silence on the other end.

It took Finn a second to realize what he had just implied. "Oh, no man, nothing like that! It was more like, a forced hug. I think Karofsky came in here to say something to Kurt and covered up by hugging him. Cause when he left Kurt looked all pale and stuff."

"Oh..." Blaine frowned on the other end of the line.

"I don't know, I just thought if you weren't busy later today maybe you could talk to him or something. It doesn't seem like he's gonna tell me anything cause he just said nothing happened and then he left."

"Considering I already skipped most of the morning, there's really no sense in going back to school. I'll pick him up when school's over and try to get him to talk." Blaine said.

"Alright, thanks dude."

"Yeah, sure."

* * *

><p>"I don't love him...I don't think." Kurt was muttering to himself as he walked out of the front doors of the school. Though he had been plagued by Karofsky's threats for the last two periods of the day, his mind had rushed back to Blaine. He couldn't understand why his heart was beating so wildly every time he thought of him, or why he felt a surge of warmth in the pit of his stomach just at the mention of his name.<p>

He shook his head as if to recollect himself. "God, Kurt, get a hold of yourself." He said. "You just really like him a lot. You can't jinx it by calling it love yet." He kept looking at the ground as he walked down the steps, not even paying attention to his surroundings. He thought of Blaine and his kind smile, and the way his curls fell across his forehead. He couldn't help but stifle a giggle. "Ugh! Why does he have to be so damn handsome?" He groaned.

Suddenly, a pair of hands reached around his face and covered his eyes. "People tell me it's in my genes."

Kurt's heart dropped to his stomach and he fell forward, surprised by the sudden attack. Blaine was pulled along on top of him by the weight of his book bag and they groaned as they hit the floor.

"Blaine!" Kurt groaned from beneath the weight. "Get off me! What the hell are you doing, scaring me like that?"

Blaine laughed, not moving from where he was. "I was just trying to surprise you. Maybe if you weren't walking around talking to yourself about how hot I am, you'd have seen me."

Kurt blushed and tried to force Blaine off, but couldn't. "Can you get off?" He said more irritably.

Blaine leaned forward so that his lips were close to Kurt's ear. "But I like being on top of you like this," he whispered. Kurt could feel the heat rising to his face and expanding across to his ears. He rolled out from beneath Blaine, and stood up with his red face looking down on Blaine. "I hate you." He huffed and started to walk off, unable to believe how slyly Blaine had slipped such a sexual comment into the conversation.

Blaine got up quickly and followed after him. "Really? Because by the way your own personal conversation was going, I thought you said you were in love with me."

Kurt stopped in his tracks and turned around. "For your information, I wasn't talking about _you_. I was talking about the newest designer featured in Italian _Vogue_." He had covered smoothly enough, because the grin that was plastered on Blaine's face fell.

"Oh, I see how it is. You're checking out designers when you're with me?" Blaine scoffed. "I can't be with you Kurt."

They laughed at this and kept arguing playfully all the way to Blaine's car. "Why are you here anyways? Weren't you supposed to be back at school by now?" Kurt asked suspiciously.

"Well, since we already missed half the day it didn't make sense to go back." Blaine shrugged. "But I was wondering if we could talk?"

"Yeah, sure." Kurt said. "Let's go for coffee."

x x x

_Once upstairs, Kurt pulled Karofsky further down the hall so they wouldn't be overheard. Even with the loud rendition of "Raise Your Glass" coming from the drunk teens downstairs, he couldn't take chances. He stood with his arms crossed and his eyebrows raised expectantly._

_"What do you want?" Karofsky spit out._

_"Oh cut the act, will you?" Kurt said irritably._

_"I don't know what you-"_

_"Look, I know. I figured it out." Kurt said simply._

_Karofsky was getting visibly angrier, unsure of what the hell Kurt was talking about. "Whatever you think you figured out, you're wrong."_

_"Oh, so you don't like me then? What a pity." Kurt said sarcastically._

_The response that followed was unexpected. Kurt barely moved aside in time for Karofsky's punch to hit the wall beside his face. All of the blood drained from Kurt's face as he felt the wall behind him for a way out. There was no escaping unless he called out for help, but he didn't want to be a coward. He swallowed, trying to relieve his dry throat._

_"See this is what I don't understand Karofsky!" He didn't know where he got the courage to speak back, but the rant had already begun and there was no way to stop it. "You clearly have feelings for me, but you pull this kind of crap. You push me, throw slushies in my face, threaten me and then try to punch me? You think you can get rid of your feelings for me by beating me up? You think it's going to make me like you any more or make you like me any less?" Kurt hissed at him._

_Karofsky brought his face right up to Kurt's, the fire in his eyes dangerously growing stronger. "Shut up." He spit out. "Stop saying that like you know me." He grabbed on to Kurt's shirt collar to make his point._

_Under any other circumstance, Kurt would have lost every ounce of pride and courage that he had, but he couldn't hold back. It was as if someone had possessed his mind and taken over his power of restraint. "I'm just trying to help you Karofsky! You owe me, remember? I still haven't told anyone about you being gay! I haven't started screaming for help, because you know my friends would rush here in a heartbeat if they knew something was wrong! So why don't you shut up and listen for once?" Kurt could feel anger bubbling beneath his skin as he hissed every word so that no one else but Karofsky would hear him._

_Karofsky's face blanched at this, and he obeyed hesitantly. "You made my life miserable. And still I haven't said a single word to anyone. I could ruin you, I could let you crash and burn but I haven't. The least you could do is to stop taking out your dumb jealousy on me, because it certainly isn't winning my heart over."_

_"Who said I wanted to win it anyways?" Karofsky laughed bitterly._

_"You didn't have to say anything. I've seen the way you look at me. Why are you so stuck in your own little world? God, I can't stand you. You can't accept who you are and you come and take your anger out on me because you like me? What's your problem? You're mad that you have feelings for a guy? You're mad that I'm in love with Blaine and you can't have me?" Kurt pushed Karofsky away from him, unsure about where his sudden strength had come from._

_"You're fucking arrogant, faggot." Karofsky shook his head as he talked. "You think I'm actually jealous of you and your dumb boyfriend? I would never look at you even if I was a homo."_

_"Oh yeah?" Kurt said, breathing hard._

_"You're such a prissy know-it-all, you think everyone fucking wants you when you're just pathe-"_

_Karofsky was taken aback. He didn't know how it happened and he didn't see it coming. But out of nowhere, Kurt had grabbed a hold of his face and pressed his lips to his own. And he felt the chills running rampant up and down his spine, and the bubbling warmth at the pit of his stomach...but just as quickly as it had come, it was gone. And then-_

_SLAP._

_Kurt's face was flushed with anger, he pushed Karofsky into the wall, wiped his own mouth with his arm and looked at him. "You're pathetic. Because if you didn't know you were gay five seconds ago, you know now. Those feelings you just got? Guess what? It means you're gay. I hope you got your answer." He spat on the floor and shuddered, feeling sick to his stomach. "And just so you know, you __**disgust**__ me."_

_Kurt turned around and stalked off, his heart still beating a thousand miles per hour. The anger was still bubbling at the pit of his stomach and he couldn't stop his ragged breathing. He had just kissed Dave Karofsky and it was the worst thing he'd ever had to do. He didn't know where it had come from, it just happened. What he did know, though, was that the kiss wasn't out of attraction. He wanted to shut up Dave Karofsky for good. He was tired of the show, tired of the big front he put up, tired of being pushed around because one guy couldn't come to terms with his feelings. Kurt was tired and he decided to close the matter by making it impossible for Karofsky to deny his sexuality any longer. So, he had kissed him, and then slapped him._

_He felt disgusted with Karofsky and disgusted with himself. Once again, he shuddered and he rushed down the hallway to the open bathroom to vomit in the toilet. But as he turned into the dark room, he crashed into someone. He fell backwards in the darkness, dizzy from the repulsion and the sudden impact of the crash. He stood up shakily, his face pale from sickness and turned on the light. His gaze fell on the boy standing in front of him, the rims of his eyes were red and there were tear streaks trailing down his cheeks._

_"Blaine...?"_


	4. Broken

**WARNING**: This chapter may contain material that may be triggering to those who have dealt with self-harm before. If you feel that reading this could affect you negatively, please skip the first italicized passage or simply stop reading. Though the description doesn't go into detail and it is brief, I don't want anyone reading it if they're not comfortable.

Now that that's out of the way, I also wanted to point something out. As you all know by now, I usually start off my chapters with some sort of flash-forward or flashback. Please note that not all of these passages will be in chronological order. I'm going to be skipping back and forth. Usually, you will always be able to know if the scene is taking place in the future or in the past, but I wanted to make sure that no one got confused.

So without further ado, I present you chapter 4. Read and review! :D I love hearing your feedback.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4 - Broken<strong>

_He held the razor poised over his wrist. The tears welled at the rims of his eyes, blurring his vision. His right hand was shaking so much, he didn't think he'd be able to go through it. The metal was hovering dangerously above the bruised skin, centimeters away from making contact. He could still feel Bryan's hand on his wrist, dragging him across the broken glass that laid on the floor next to the dumpster. Nothing could rid his mind of the image that was implanted there. That image of the hateful eyes, filled with disgust. That image of the triumphant smirk, the sound of laughter that echoed down the alleyway as he kicked him over and over in the stomach. _

_Blaine shuddered, trying to stifle his sobs. He shook his head, willing the images to go away, willing the pain to leave him. But all he could see were those eyes, the hatred etched into the very irides. He could still feel the blows to his stomach, the white-hot pain that traveled from his navel all the way up into his chest and left him gasping for air. He just couldn't get away from the vivid memories._

_The taste of iron flooding his mouth, the sound of that cruel voice, laced with venom..."You're worthless, you piece of shit," he had hissed to him. And after he was done kicking him, picking him up by the wrist and throwing him repeatedly against the walls, after all of it was done there was nothing left of Blaine. Only a shattered, empty figure on the floor who had just been robbed of his will to live._

_The tears came down in torrents, and it took every ounce inside of him to keep from making any sounds. He could barely see the bruise on his left hand, but it didn't matter, because he could feel it. He could feel Bryan's searing touch everywhere on his body. He could still feel the blood in his mouth and the ache from the bruises across his stomach, back and arms._

_And it was then that he realized he couldn't keep going. He had cried out for help, but no one had done anything. He was filthy. Disgusting. No one had come to save him because he just wasn't worth saving._

_With one last shuddering breath, he repositioned the razor above his left wrist. To do it, or not to do it?_

x x x

"Blaine! Kurt! Wait a second!" Rachel yelled as she ran after them. The two had stopped right in front of Blaine's car, ready to go for their usual coffee.

"Hey Rachel." Blaine said, waving at her.

"Hi!" Rachel said breathlessly as she caught up to them. "I was just going to ask if Kurt was okay." She turned to Kurt, pressing her hand to her chest to control her heavy breathing.

Kurt gave her a sudden look, willing her to shut up before she said anything else.

"Sure he is, why wouldn't he be?" Blaine asked, his eyes flickering to Kurt.

"Oh, well Finn told me that Karofsky stopped by to talk to him earlier." Rachel said. Both Blaine and her looked at Kurt expectantly.

"You and Finn are worse at keeping secrets than Brittany," Kurt sighed "and that's saying something."

"So, something did happen?" Blaine asked.

"No, actually. He just dropped by the choir room when I was there by myself-"

"Why were you there by yourself?" Blaine asked, concern evident in his voice.

"Oh," Rachel giggled, "He was actually singing this song about y-"

"_Rachel!_" Kurt hissed. He could feel the red blush creeping slowly up his cheeks.

Blaine raised his eyebrows as though amused. "You were singing a song about whom?"

"Nobody. I was just practicing." He shot an angry look at Rachel, then turned back to him. "Anyways, Karofsky just dropped by to make sure everything was okay."

Both Blaine and Rachel looked unconviced, but said nothing. Kurt simply rolled his eyes and got into the car. Blaine was about to walk to the other side, but Rachel pulled him aside briefly.

"Here," she whispered, handing him a CD. "You might like to see this."

"What is it?" Blaine asked.

"Oh, just something I caught on tape while Kurt wasn't watching." She winked at him then ran off. He tucked the CD into his jacket pocket, afraid of what it might contain.

Blaine watched her go, confusion in his eyes until his gaze froze on one person. Karofsky was standing nearby, leaning against a tree with his arms folded. He was staring right at Blaine. Blaine turned around momentarily to motion to Kurt that he would be right back, and he walked off toward Karofsky.

"Did you want something?" Karofsky said innocently, though the sarcasm was evident in his smirk.

"Actually, I do." Blaine said coming right up to him and folding his arms. "I want you to stay away from Kurt."

"Why should I do that? We're friends now," he replied, smiling.

"Look, cut the crap Karofsky. I know you said something to Kurt today. And whatever it was, it shook him. He's my boyfriend," (Karofsky flinched at the mention of word) "and I know him well enough to realize when he's lying to me. So, go play your pretend games with someone else because no one's buying it. And I promise, if you so much as lay a finger on him, we're going to have trouble." Blaine said, making sure every word was emphasized.

"How touching." Karofsky said. "But you don't have to worry, fag. I'm not going to do anything to your boyfriend. I _will_ tell you this, though: come near this school again and we're going to have problems. I can tolerate your prissy little girl, but two of you? As long as you stay away from me, nothing will happen to him." He smiled and then turned to walk away.

Blaine was left with his fists clenched and his jaw set. He kicked the tree as he cursed underneath his breath. What the hell was he supposed to do now?

"Got a problem, doe face?"

Blaine turned around to see Coach Sylvester standing behind him. "Oh, no...everything's fine."

"You're porcelain's boy, right?" she said as she studied him.

Blaine could only assume she was talking about Kurt, so he nodded.

"Well, you don't have to worry. I don't buy the caveman's new story either. That boy wouldn't know how to lie even if he was taking private lessons from me. But I'll be keeping an eye out for porcelain, so don't take anything that dumbass says seriously."

Blaine looked up at her gratefully. "Thanks," he said.

She patted him on the shoulder, and walked off. As Blaine returned to the car, he couldn't help but feel that Kurt's day back to school had been ruined. And now that Karofsky was threatening to hurt Kurt if Blaine showed up again, it would be difficult to tell his boyfriend that he simply wouldn't be able to stop by in the mornings, or the afternoons or any time in between.

He opened the door and sat down in the driver's seat. "What was that about?" Kurt asked.

"Which part?"

"The whole Rachel thing." Kurt replied.

"Oh, she just gave me some CD." Blaine mumbled as he put the key into the ignition.

"And where did you go? I couldn't see you because you walked off somewhere." Kurt continued, looking at him suspiciously.

"I thought I saw something shiny there by the tree." Blaine replied nonchalantly.

Kurt laughed. "And you had to go over there to see what it was?"

"Of course I did. It could have been a ring that I could have proposed to you with," he replied, laughing as he saw Kurt turn red. He put his hands on the steering wheel and started driving. It was then that Kurt caught a glimpse of Blaine's left hand. It was weird that he hadn't noticed the scar there before, the horizontal line that stretched across his wrist right underneath the bracelet Kurt had given him. Blaine typically wore long sleeves so it came as a surprise when Kurt finally noticed the cut on the underside of his hand.

"What's that scar from?" Kurt asked.

"Which scar?" Blaine followed Kurt's eyes to his left hand, and he momentarily twitched. "Oh, that. I've had it for almost three years now. You know, from my bear-fighting days."

Kurt scoffed. "Bear-fighting days?"

"Yeah!" Blaine said indignantly. "What, you don't believe me? Way back in the day I used to ward off bears by wrestling them to keep other people safe."

Kurt laughed, placing his hand over his mouth to stifle the laughter.

"What? Why are you laughing? Is it so hard to believe that your charming boyfriend is a hero?" Blaine asked, pouting. The two boys laughed simultaenously and kept talking on the way to the coffee shop. Blaine silently sighed in relief, grateful that he had avoided the question without being noticed.

* * *

><p>"So, what was it you wanted to talk about?" Kurt asked, taking a sip from his drink.<p>

They were both sitting at the Lima Bean, their home base for conversation. Blaine took a sip from his medium drip and looked at Kurt's eyes. He could see the distress that flickered across them every now and then, even though Kurt was clearly trying to hide it.

"I guess I'll get right to the point." Blaine sighed. "Finn called me today."

Kurt rolled his eyes and turned away. "Look, if it's about what happened today with Karofsky you don't have to worry." Kurt sighed, waving his hand dismissively. "Finn makes a big deal out of everything. I already told him nothing happened, Karofsky was just being talking to me about what we should do for the Bully Whips."

Blaine stared at him expectantly.

"What?" Kurt asked irritably.

"Don't lie to me, Kurt...please." Blaine said softly. "I understand if you don't want to talk about something that happened, but I don't want you to pretend like it's nothing."

"_Nothing_ happened." Kurt replied.

"Did he touch you?"

"What?" Kurt laughed. "No, of course not."

"Did he push you?"

"Blaine, you're-"

"Did he make any advances?"

"Look, I already told you, nothing happened-"

"Did he threaten you?"

Kurt visibly paled, but he covered it up by looking away. "Blaine. Get a grip. If I told you nothing happened, then _nothing_ happened, alright?" His anger was starting to rise and he couldn't take another push.

"Then why are your hands shaking?" Blaine asked.

"Maybe because I'm being harassed by my boyfriend!" Kurt said defiantly.

"Kurt, I'm just trying to make sure nothing happens to you..."

"I know, but I already told you countless times, nothing happened. So can you cool it?" Kurt huffed, turning away.

The two boys sat in silence for a while. The tension had thickened in the air, and all they could do was stare in the opposite direction. Each was wrapped in his own thoughts, clouded by images of the past. Blaine stole a glance at Kurt and noticed how his hand hadn't quite stop shaking. He sighed and ran his hands through his hair.

He thought back to his freshman year of high school. Visions of Bryan flooded his mind and he shuddered. He didn't like thinking about those times. In fact, most of the time he pretended like that stage in his life had never happened. He pretended as if everything was fine, as if he had never been harassed, bullied, assaulted. In his mind, his life had started from his first day at Dalton Academy, not before.

No one but his family knew about his history. Neither the Warblers nor Kurt knew about his past and he didn't want to mention it. The thought of telling Kurt about everything that had been done to him...about what Blaine had done to himself...it terrified him. What if he scared Kurt away?

And more importantly, what if Kurt got to the same point that Blaine had been at? What if he bottled everything up, just as Blaine had done his freshman year? What if Kurt kept his mouth shut and took all of the bullshit that Karofsky threw at him and ended up in the bathroom with a razor poised over his wrist?

If there was anything Blaine had to avoid, it was that. He couldn't let Kurt fall to those depths, couldn't let the bullying go to such an extent that he would risk losing Kurt. That's why he had to go to all lengths to protect him, no matter what the risk.

_He saw Bryan walking down the hallway, coming straight at him. There was no running away, no teachers in sight, no students that cared to speak up. In one single movement, Bryan pinned Blaine up against the lockers and punched him in the gut. Blaine coughed out, seeking the air that had been robbed from him. He slid down the lockers and fell to the floor as Bryan walked away. "That was for existing," Bryan laughed and stalked off._

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't notice his grip tightening on his plastic cup, didn't notice how his fingers dug into the sides and inadvertently spilled the coffee over his hands. His eyes had become unfocused, the images of Bryan's terrorizing eyes plaguing his mind, until-

"Blaine!" Kurt said sharply.

Blaine blinked and looked across the table at Kurt, then down at his hand. "Oh." Kurt glared at him, getting up to get napkins. "What was that for?" Kurt hissed as some people turned to look at them.

"Sorry..." Blaine mumbled as he wiped the table down.

Kurt looked over at him thoughtfully. He was still angry by his persistence to keep meddling, but he could tell there was something on his boyfriend's mind. Before he could ask what was wrong however, he was interrupted.

"Look, Kurt, can we cut the crap? I know you. I know you're hiding something and I know you don't want to tell me what's going on, but you need to speak up before you get hurt." Blaine said, looking directly into Kurt's eyes.

The sky outside had grown cloudy and they could hear the sound of thunder in the distance. Kurt stayed silent, willing himself to keep his cool.

"I get that you didn't want to tell Finn or Rachel, but you should be able to trust me Kurt. I understand what it's like-"

"No, actually, you don't understand Blaine." Kurt retorted, standing up. "You don't understand because you ran away from your problems. You went to Dalton and everything was fine. You never went back to face whoever was teasing you, so you have no idea what this is like. You ask why my hands were shaking? Well did it ever occur to you that it might have been because I was simply scared to be back at the school with a neanderthal who's caused me grief before? Did it ever occur to you that Karofsky hasn't actually done anything to me, and I'm just uncomfortable being around him?"

Blaine opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off.

"No, it didn't occur to you Blaine, because you have no idea how scary it is to go back to face your bully. Just because I'm scared of him doesn't mean he's done anything to me. It just means that I haven't gotten over all of the shit he pulled, and you will never understand that because you only ran away."

And with that, Kurt stood up and stalked off, leaving Blaine all alone.

x x x

_"...I thought you liked me." Blaine whispered, unable to breathe._

_"N-no! You p-pressured me, homo!" James yelled at him, going red in the face._

_A crowd of boys had gathered around the two of them. Blaine couldn't understand why James simply didn't own up to it. Why he couldn't just accept his sexuality. Instead, he chose to lie. He chose to lie blatantly in front of the crowd to make Blaine look bad instead. _

_"James, you kissed me!" Blaine yelled at him, angry tears welling in his eyes._

_"Why are y-you lying, faggot?" James retorted, and he turned away, parting the crowd of boys who were now looking at Blaine as though he had a disease._

_The boys shook their heads and shoved purposely into Blaine as they walked off in their own directions. Some whispered insults as they moved past him, 'faggot' or 'liar' or 'pig'. And all Blaine could do was stand in the middle of the hallway, the heat rising to his face and his heart falling beneath his feet. He could feel his stomach churning, not just from the rejection but the humiliation. All eyes in the hallway were set on him, and all he could think about was how James had betrayed him. How he had denied his own sexuality and them left him to be the butt of the joke, right in front of everyone._

_And that was the moment it first started. It wasn't until his public outing that Bryan began to torment him. Before, no one knew about him, no one really noticed his existence. But the fight in the hallway had changed everything. He had trusted James, the very first boy he liked. He trusted him to keep his secret, to keep his word. And then as their friendship grew stronger, James kissed him. Unexpectedly, out of nowhere. Blaine got his first taste of what it was like to be liked in return. But it didn't last long, because shortly after, James started avoiding him._

_Blaine was left confused, unsure of what was going on. And when he finally confronted James, he was humiliated. But that wasn't the worst part. No, not the worst part by far. Because the moment Bryan had seen the mess in the hallway and tagged him as a homosexual, Blaine's life had become miserable._

_He became Bryan's target. His own personal punching bag._

x x x

It took Blaine several moments to register what happened. By the time his mind processed the words that stung in his ears, Kurt was already out the door and rain had started to pour.

"Fuck..." He mumbled under his breath as he got up and ran after Kurt. He was torn between being defiant and keeping up his charade. Kurt had told him that he wouldn't understand. Understand? If anyone understood Kurt's situation, it was Blaine. But of course, Kurt didn't know that. Kurt didn't know about Bryan, didn't know about Blaine's incident...All he knew was that he had been teased at his old high school and that he had gone running to Dalton Academy.

Was being defiant worth the trouble it would cause? Was it worth telling Kurt all about the insults, the harrassment and the violence he had faced?

He had worked so hard already to start a new life, that there was no way he could play the defense card. So he swallowed his pride and ran after Kurt.

x x x

_After weeks of being shoved into lockers and insulted, Blaine didn't think things could get worse. But somehow, life always found a way of arranging his misfortune just so. Everything had been fine to an extent. He could handle the insults, the teasing, even the shoving. He expected that at some point in his life he would have to face that kind of hatred from someone._

_So when he became Bryan's target, he didn't think much of it. Of course, he despised it, but it was something he could tolerate. It wasn't until things escalated though, that Blaine began to lose his footing._

_He had just changed into his regular clothes after showering in P.E. The locker room was empty except for a group of guys several rows down. The coaches were still out on the court playing with another class; the coast was clear._

_As he picked up his towel and slung it over his shoulder, he heard shuffling behind him. He turned around only to meet Bryan with a gang of his friends._

_"Hey, homo." Bryan said, smirking._

_Blaine didn't respond, just stood up and walked the other way._

_"Where do you think you're going fag?" One of the groupies called._

_"None of your business," Blaine said, and kept walking._

_"But see Anderson, it is my business. It's my business to put fags in their place when they think they have a right to disrespect me like that." Bryan replied. He smiled at his friends and all of a sudden they ran at Blaine. He was tackled to the floor, and pinned down on his back. _

_"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Blaine yelled as he struggled. He tried pushing the three guys off of him, but nothing worked. Two of them were holding down his opposite arms, and the other was holding down his legs. Bryan stood over him, smiling as he watched Blaine struggle._

_He crouched down close to Blaine's face and looked directly in his eyes. "I'm going to teach you a lesson, faggot." He took out a knife from his pocket and showed it to Blaine. "Now, you're going to keep quiet, or I'll slit your throat in a heartbeat."_

_Blaine could feel the tears welling in his eyes, as he struggled to push the attackers off. He pushed against their weight, but couldn't do anything. He felt a hand cover his mouth and someone pull up his shirt. All he could do was lift his head in time to see Bryan pressing the knife to his stomach._

x x x

"KURT!" Blaine yelled, as he ran after him. "Kurt, wait!"

Kurt didn't stop walking, he just kept going, ignoring the calls behind him.

"Kurt, hang on!" Blaine yelled, and he sped up just in time to pull him back by the wrist.

"What do you want?" Kurt said, his eyes quite visibly red.

Blaine looked at him and his complexion softened. So something _was_ going on. He pulled Kurt to his chest in one swift motion and pressed his other hand to Kurt's face. The rain fell all around them, hitting the pavement like a timpani. The hazel eyes searched the blue and saw the fear and the pain there. Blaine closed his eyes and let the rhythm of the rain overcome him. He slowly leaned in and pressed his lips gently to Kurt's. He let his other hand come up and caress Kurt's cheek, as Kurt returned the kiss. Their lips parted, moving gently across each other.

Blaine pulled away and leaned his forehead to Kurt's, his eyes still closed. "Listen to me," he whispered, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push you so far Kurt. I'm just terrified..." His voice was breaking unwillingly. Kurt opened his eyes in concern. "I'm terrified that he's going to do something to you and I can't...I **can't** let that happen. I can't lose you, Kurt." He felt a hot tear trailing down his cheek.

Kurt pulled up his hands and placed them on top of Blaine's, stroking them gently. "Nothing's going to happen to me Blaine. You're not going to lose me." Kurt whispered back.

"I know I don't understand what it's like...I know that I ran away and you were brave enough to go back and face your bully...but it's terrifying to sit back and watch you go through this and not be able to do anything." Blaine said, his voice barely audible.

Kurt only responded by pressing his lips roughly to Blaine's, his hands reaching behind his head to run his fingers through the jet black curls. And this time, the kiss was far more passionate, far more comforting. They moved in synchronization, feeling how the warmth traveled from their lips to the fingertips. Kurt nibbled on Blaine's lower lip, feeling him shudder as he did so.

The two boys parted once more and pressed their foreheads together.

"Just promise me, Kurt," Blaine said shakily, "promise me you'll tell me if he hurts you." The hazel eyes met the blue, pleading. And finally, Kurt nodded.

"We need to go back home and change before we catch a cold." He mumbled, and he grabbed Blaine's hand in his own, intertwining their fingers as they walked back to the car.

x x x

_He was lying on the ground, paralyzed with disbelief. He could feel the cuts across his stomach, the sting that was left there after Bryan was done. The group of boys got up and looked down at their work, satisfied. Many of them laughed and then left the locker room. Bryan stood above Blaine, smirking down at him. "There, now you're branded for the rest of your life. That should teach you." He laughed once more, spit down next to him, and walked away._

_When he finally gained the energy to pull himself up, he didn't bother studying the wound. He felt raw, vulnerable and tainted. He didn't want to see what it was that had been etched into the left side of his stomach. He didn't care that the blood was now seeping through his shirt. All he cared about was going home and staying there forever._

_He grabbed his jacket, put it on, and then walked out of school without thinking about the rest of his classes. It wasn't until he got home and gathered enough courage to look in the mirror, that reality hit him. The word 'faggot' was now etched into his stomach in capital letters._

_That was the first crack in the dam._

x x x

The two boys had immediately rushed to Kurt's house in search of warmth. Their clothes were drenched, and even though they were nearing spring, the temperature outside was well below 50 degrees Fahrenheit. Kurt rummaged through his closet as he pulled out clothes that they could wear.

"Here." He threw a regular t-shirt to Blaine, who watched as Kurt discarded his own soaked shirt.

Blaine blushed as he looked at the smooth skin that extended across Kurt's back. He turned away and coughed.

"What? Did I finally find something that makes you uncomfortable?" Kurt chuckled to himself.

Blaine shook his head, even though the blush remained on his cheeks. "I'm just...I'm gonna go to the bathroom to change."

"What, I can't see my own boyfriend shirtless?" Kurt said in a mock-indignant voice.

Blaine shook his head.

"Oh come on, don't act like you have something to hide. You probably have a six-pack." Kurt rolled his eyes. "I bet you're just insecure because of a weird birth mark or something like that."

_Something like that_, Blaine thought. Blaine reached for his scar subconsciously. He wasn't ready for Kurt to see it just yet.


	5. Secrets

Hey everyone! Sorry it took me a little longer to update. I was trying my hand at making some Klaine videos but I got frustrated with Windows Movie Maker so I stopped. Anyways, this chapter is a little intense. It has its balance of humor and angst, so I hope you enjoy. And please don't kill me, because I did a fair bit of teasing throughout it.

Also, major thank you to Victoria (AKA: .net/u/2761752/ezibabi162) for uploading this chapter for me :) You should check out some of her stuff too because it's wonderful ;)

Without further ado, here's chapter 5! Leave me your thoughts! :) Enjoy~

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5 - Secrets<strong>

_His eyes were filling with tears. He struggled for breath to fill his lungs, leaned against the wall of the house for support. He tried to call out Blaine's name again but his voice was far too broken to come out coherently. And just like that, everything was done. He had lost the person he cared for the most._

_He turned around, gazing at Karofsky who was staring down at him from the top of the stairs. And suddenly the rage overcame him, spreading like a poison through his veins. He ran up the stairs, pushing Karofsky to the wall._

_"THIS IS YOUR FAULT!" Kurt cried, throwing his fist at Karofsky, who dodged it. He grabbed Kurt's wrists and pushed him back against the other wall._

_"YOUR FAULT. THIS IS YOUR FAULT." Kurt yelled, his screams drowned out by the continued singing coming from downstairs._

_He tried to flail his arms or raise his knee to hit Karofsky but he couldn't move. _

_"It's your fault, you disgusting coward!" Kurt hissed, fighting against the strength that was now crushing his wrists. But what he said had gone too far. Karofsky slammed him to the floor, anger flooding him beyond his control. Kurt gasped at the impact, but was too late in reacting. Karofsky was already picking him up by his arm and was now dragging him away from the hallway and into a room._

x x x

"I'm going to go make us some hot chocolate." Kurt said, smiling. Blaine had just come out of the bathroom, tugging at the edges of the shirt he was wearing. It seemed much too small for him.

"Okay," he replied. "But uh…do you have anything…bigger?" He asked, still tugging at the shirt to cover up the small sliver of skin that was showing.

"Of course I do." Kurt smirked, and proceeded to go up the stairs.

"Hey, wait!" Blaine said, stopping at the foot of the stairs. "Aren't you going to give me another shirt?"

Kurt blinked. He raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Why would I do that?"

"Because this shirt is really tight."

"That's the point." Kurt winked at him, leaving to prepare the chocolate.

Blaine smirked in spite of himself. He supposed that he did deserve the torture after all the teasing he did. The times he spent embarrassing Kurt were far too numerous. But the shirt was small and barely covered his belly button, leaving his scars exposed. He reached down to run his fingers over the cuts. It had been three years and yet the scars hadn't gone away. In fact, the skin hadn't completely healed. Tracing the letters with his fingers, he could feel the difference in the texture. The scar tissue that had slowly stretched over his cuts was far softer than his skin. Ironic.

He looked curiously at the door, wondering if he had enough time. He turned to look at the vanity mirror apprehensively. Was he ready to look at his scars after years of avoiding them? Slowly, he took a few steps towards the mirror and held his own gaze. He could feel goosebumps spreading across his skin as a wave of cold submerged him. His eyes traced their path down his chest, to his bellybutton, and then to the left. He cringed at the sight of the cuts.

It had been at least 2 years since he took his time to properly look at them. For the first year after the incident, all he could do was run his fingers over the cuts, remembering how Bryan had made his life miserable. After he transferred to Dalton Academy, however, he could no longer look at his scars. He wanted to forget; forget Bryan, forget the bullying and most of all forget what he had done. He couldn't bring himself to look at the word that had caused him so much grief.

But now as he looked at the word etched into his skin, he couldn't help but remember everything. The memories came flooding back to him.

x x x

_After the confrontation in the locker room, he just hadn't been the same. His whole world had turned upside down. He could put up with the insults, the teasing, even being pushed into lockers. But this was something entirely different. For the first time in his life, he started to doubt himself. Doubt whether the fighting was worth it, doubt whether or not he should keep going, doubt whether or not he really deserved what he was getting._

_For the very first time since his outing, he felt worthless. After all, a person could only stand the attacks for so long. He had handled all of the things Bryan had done to him before. But this had changed everything. Every new insult thrown at him was like a knife to his stomach. He began to fall apart, the cracks in the dam expanding with every shove, every hateful gaze. Phrases like 'you're worthless' and 'kill yourself' became a part of his daily life. He jumped at every noise, shuddered at every touch or sensation that passed him by. He began to lose control of himself, unable to concentrate on anything except the danger. His senses had become hyper-sensitive, able to detect the slightest move or dullest sound. He no longer felt safe._

_And even though everything had suddenly become too overwhelming for him to handle, nothing new happened. Bryan never pushed the boundaries farther than he already had. Though Blaine was suffering from every small attack, it was simply more of the same old thing. For the next few months after the incident, Bryan had reverted to his usual work. He teased, insulted, pushed, but nothing more. Maybe it was because he felt his mission was accomplished. Blaine hadn't been the same since the locker room and that satisfied him. But he felt like he hadn't done enough._

_However, the few months of quiet weren't long-lasting. They were simply the calm before the storm._

x x x

"Blaine?"

Kurt had walked in with the two cups of hot chocolate in his hand and Blaine hadn't noticed. He turned around, his hand still on his scars. For a moment he didn't register where he was or what he was doing. He had been caught up in the memories.

Then he followed Kurt's eyes to his stomach and realized where he was. He pulled his shirt back down and rushed to the bed, pulling the covers over him as quickly as possible.

Kurt narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Uh…are you okay?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, you were kind of staring at your stomach and then you ran to the bed to cover yourself up as if you were hiding something." Kurt said matter-of-factly.

Blaine just laughed it off.

"Do you have a tattoo I should know about?" Kurt asked, grinning as he set the cups of hot chocolate on his dresser. He walked over to the bed and crossed his arms.

Blaine blushed. "No and even if I did I wouldn't put it there."

"Well if you don't have anything there, then I as your boyfriend should be entitled to see you shirtless."

Blaine pulled the comforter to his chin and blushed beet red. He looked away bashfully.

"Kurt…I'm not ready to move to the next base. We haven't even had a proper French kiss! I would appreciate it if you didn't pressure me into anything." He said in a mock-serious voice.

This time it was Kurt's turn to blush. He punched Blaine's shoulder and turned around with his arms folded across his chest. "You know I didn't mean it like that!" He hissed at him, the embarrassment evident in his voice.

"Didn't you?" Blaine smirked. His grip on the comforter eased as he looked at Kurt.

There was simply no way to win with Blaine. Anything that he tried to do to make him uneasy would always come back around and leave Kurt in a flustered mess. He couldn't count the number of times he had blushed at his clever remarks or at the advances. It was true though, that they hadn't french-kissed yet. In fact, they had barely even kissed at all. Though Blaine took his chances to do so Kurt always backed out, his fear and anxiety far too immense to allow himself to let go. Anytime he looked at Blaine's lips, he couldn't help but feel a surge of warmth lighting throughout his body. There was simply no way that he could contain his composure, not when his lips were so soft and enticing. He turned around to eye the boy, looking at the curls that were sticking out at odd angles, allowing his eyes to study the shape of his eyebrows, the length of his lashes. He couldn't help but blush at the fact that this boy was his boyfriend and he was currently lying in his bed.

"Thinking of naughty things?" Blaine asked with a half-smile.

Kurt blushed a brighter red. But before he gave his usual defensive reply, an idea came to mind. He was always the victim in these word battles. It was he who always lost due to embarrassment or his timid nature. But this time, he wasn't ready to lose. He wanted to catch Blaine off-guard, show him that he too could play the game. He took a deep breath, preparing himself to push his own boundaries, then he smiled.

"Actually Blaine, I am." He walked closer to the bed, satisfied with the look of disbelief on Blaine's face. He hadn't been expecting that answer. Kurt willed himself to keep going with the charade, to push past his embarrassment and simply played the part. "I was just thinking that we're home alone," Kurt said softly, "and you're laying in my bed with a shirt that I'd really love to take off of you..." He smiled coyly as he traced a finger from his shoulder, over his biceps, and down his arm. Blaine stared at Kurt, completely aghast. He could feel the heat quickly rising to his face and spreading to his ears. Did he really just hear his boyfriend make the slightest of intimate references?

"In fact," Kurt whispered as he climbed over Blaine on the bed and leaned forward, "that's not the only thing I'd like you to take off." His hand was now gently tracing circles on Blaine's shoulder.

"Kurt, what—"

"Shhhh." He brought his lips tantalizingly close to Blaine's and then he turned to whisper in his ear.

"Since you were complaining that we haven't had any French kisses yet, I thought I'd meet your request." His breath touched Blaine's ear, tickling him. "And then some..." Blaine couldn't help but let out a small moan.

"Kurt…" he whispered, his breathing becoming heavy. Kurt turned his head, his lips stopped millimeters away from Blaine's. He smiled at his boyfriend's questioning and eager look, then he did the unexpected.

Blaine wasn't sure what hit him. Kurt's hands were suddenly reaching down to his stomach in search of something.

"Kurt, what are you—" Blaine gasped.

Tickle war. Kurt grinned as he tickled Blaine who was completly taken aback. He jumped at the touch of Kurt's hands on his stomach, began thrashing around on the bed gasping for breath.

"This—is—payback!" Kurt said as he moved his hands across the sides of Blaine's stomach.

"Kurt—please—I can't—" Blaine was laughing too hard to talk, trying to get Kurt off of him. For such a frail boy, he had surprising strength. Blaine rolled underneath Kurt, only to have Kurt tickle the space behind his knees. He thrashed around, laughing hysterically as Kurt tried every spot he could find.

"Okay—okay—I'msorryIgiveup!" Blaine said, turning back around to face Kurt.

Kurt sat up, grinning triumphantly. He rolled over to Blaine's side and lied down next to him, laughing as he did so.

"Geez, Kurt…" Blaine was still trying to catch his breath. "How about you warn someone before you go and do something like that." The blush that had been there before was still evident on his cheeks.

"The point of tickling is not to tell someone when it's coming." Kurt laughed.

"Yeah, but you didn't have to tease me to do it." The red on Blaine's cheeks was growing darker.

"Oh, but it sounded like you liked it. If I remember correctly, I think I heard a moan…" Kurt smiled as he looked down at Blaine's ears which had gone just as red as his face. His gaze turned to Blaine's exposed stomach.

"Next time you try to tickle me can you avoid seducing me first?" Blaine muttered through his teeth, his breath still a little heavy as he tried to cool himself down.

Kurt had gotten quiet. His hand reached for Blaine's stomach, snapping the other boy out of his reverie. He traced the letter F with his finger before Blaine pushed his hand away and got up from the bed.

"Blaine, what-"

"It's nothing." Blaine said quietly.

"I don't understand, what's the letter F doing on your-"

"Leave it, Kurt."

"...Were those cuts?"

"I said it was nothing, Kurt." Blaine said with a little more finality.

"What does the rest of it say?" Kurt breathed, barely audible.

"Kurt, can you please-" Blaine cut himself off. He brought his hand to his face and ran his fingers through his hair. He seemed to be struggling with something to say. "Just...it's nothing, alright?" He could feel his voice getting shaky and he took a deep breath.

"Come, sit down." Kurt said softly, patting the sheets next to him. Blaine looked at him wearily before he obliged. He sat on the edge of the bed with his elbows resting on his knees and his hands clasped together. He refused to look at Kurt, for fear of what he might say.

"I'm sorry about today..." He said, placing his hand on Blaine's back. "I shouldn't have yelled at you like that...I was just frustrated. And I probably shouldn't have said those things that I said, because clearly I don't know the first thing about your past or what happened to you...but I know the you that I see and hear every day, and I don't want to lose him."

He grabbed one of Blaine's hands and intertwined their fingers. "I know that you probably have some secrets you don't want to share right now, and as you could probably tell by how wonderfully I hide my feelings, I have some too. But I trust you, Blaine, and I'll share them with you when the time comes. I just want you to know you can do the same with me. Until then, I'll just pretend this never happened, okay?" He looked at him with comfort in his eyes, hoping to reassure him.

"Pretend what never happened? The part where you tried to sex me up, or the tickling part?" Blaine responded, as he looked to Kurt with sultry eyes.

"BLAINE, UGH!" Kurt yelled, going red in the face. "WHY DO YOU ALWAYS RUIN MOMENTS LIKE THESE?" He stood up and walked out of the room, clearly trying to hide his embarassment. Blaine followed after him, picking up the two cups of hot chocolate that were sitting forgotten on the dresser. He couldn't help but smile as he watched Kurt pacing around the living room nervously.

"What? I'm not lying. You _were_ trying to seduce-"

"I was just trying to tickle you!" Kurt hissed, his pale skin glowing a bright rouge.

"Yeah, sure that's what they all say." Blaine snickered. He put the cups down on the coffee table and took hold of Kurt's hand. He didn't allow himself to say anything, but his eyes were enough to show the appreciation he felt. He gave Kurt's hand a squeeze of gratitude which was returned. Kurt gave him a small smile and sat down on the couch.

"Anyways, so about that offer..." Blaine mumbled.

"What offer?"

"You know," Blaine nudged Kurt gently with his arm, "the offer to kiss me _and then some_?" He couldn't help but laugh as he said it.

"Screw you." Kurt huffed as he walked back to his room.

"Exactly! Isn't that what you were trying to do?"

x x x

_But the calm before the storm only lasted a few months. He was sitting in the last class of the day, Algebra, waiting for the bell to ring. He eyed the clock anxiously, already planning out his route out of the school. Every day he had to exit through different doors. It was the only way to avoid Bryan and his gang. He never used the same exit twice in a row, and always randomized his routes, sometimes doubling back through a hallway to throw them off with added time. Of course, this was never a fool-proof method. Despite his attempts to avoid the group entirely, they had run into each other at least three times, and each time had been painful. Whether they were taking turns to spit at him or simply punch him in the stomach, he never got out untouched._

_The only thing he could be grateful for was the simple fact that they never tried to split up. They could easily cover the ten entrances to the school if each person stood guard at their respective posts. But Blaine knew that they were far too scared to act alone, so they always traveled in groups. At the very least, he had a ninety percent chance of getting out of school without trouble. The problem was never knowing which door held that opposing ten percent of danger._

_The bell rang. Blaine looked up at the clock and gathered his stuff nervously. In a matter of seconds, he was out of the classroom and running down the hall towards the back staircases. He had used this exit two days prior, and he figured that they wouldn't expect him back so soon. Praying with all of his might that he wouldn't encounter the group, he pushed open the double doors that led to the hidden staircase and looked around. No one was there._

_Sighing with relief, he slid down the railing to the foot of the stairs and pushed his way out the door. The cold wind hit his face with a sting, and he was finally able to relax. No altercation today. Blaine followed the crowd of students walking away from school. He took his usual shortcut, weaving in and out of a residential neighborhood, stopping by a coffeehouse nearby to grab a comforting, steaming cup of expresso before he continued. Another day was over, and he was safe._

_Though school was his hell, he knew he couldn't be touched the moment he stepped out in the public world. He allowed his nerves to calm down and his senses to relax so he could enjoy the walk home._

_But that was the problem. He allowed his reflexes to slip away as he hummed a tune. He didn't notice taking the wrong turn into the empty alleyway, he didn't notice the group of scattered people that had been walking behind him. And why should he? There were at least a dozen other kids who took his same route to their own houses, it was never something he had to worry about. But as he met the brick wall at the end of the alley, he realized his mistake and turned around to double back._

_"It seems our lovely fag prince lost his way home."_

_Blaine froze. There they were, Bryan and his gang, standing right in front of him._

_"Surprise, surprise," Bryan said. He smiled at him, stepping closer. The boys behind him were holding on to plastic bags._

_Blaine tried to speak but nothing came out of his mouth. He could feel his stomach dropping, far, far below him. The ground beneath him started caving in and he fell to his knees. His feeling of security had just been robbed. All he could do was kneel before the group, mouth agape, silence choking his vocal chords as he looked from boy to boy and realized everything was over._

_"Get up." Bryan hissed._

_Blaine shook his head. If he was going to lose to them, he wasn't going to give them the pleasure of answering to their commands. He had already given up, that much was true. He wouldn't fight whatever it was that could be coming his way, but he wasn't going to beg, cry, or show any signs of weakness. He steeled himself for the blow he knew was coming._

_"I said, get up." _

_Blaine was stock-still, unable to move, unable to do anything but realize that he had finally given up. And then the hit came. He felt the sting on his right cheek, he could feel the taste of iron flooding his mouth as he fell to his side. He made no noise, no sign of a whimper or a twitch. He lied on the floor, staring blankly, waiting for whatever came next._

_"Oh, was that not good enough for you, prince?" Bryan asked, anger evident in his voice. He picked Blaine up by his collar and pinned him to the alley wall. Blaine could feel the blows to his stomach, the air rushing out of him, the struggle to keep his eyes open as he felt the pain shooting across his chest. Bryan let him fall to the floor with a thud._

_He motioned for his group to bring out the ammunition. One of the boys took an egg from his bag and threw it directly at Blaine's head. This time, his eyes shut forcefully at the pain. He could feel the yolk running down the side of his face, a hint of red evident in the mess._

_"You think this isn't bad, fag?" Bryan muttered through gritted teeth, clearly frustrated that Blaine wasn't showing any sign of fear or weakness. "I'll show you." And with a motion to his group, they crowded around the broken boy on the floor. Blaine wasn't sure what was going on. He could feel several hands probing, could feel the cold wind hitting his bare skin. More hands reached for him and tore his shirt off, and that's when he realized what was going on. Before he could protest, someone pulled him back up and pinned him against the wall. He gasped as someone took a knife to his jeans and ran it down his left thigh, not minding whether they were cutting into him. He could feel the hot, searing blade cut through his skin, not deep enough to leave a scar, but vulnerable to the wind that was now wrapping around his torso._

_In a flash his jeans and boxers were gone, as were his shoes and socks. The person who had pinned him to the wall let him go and he fell to the stone floor, his vision blurred. He could feel the humiliating laughter all around him, echoing in his ears. Could see the boys approaching him, picking him up just to push him around. He could hear the rustling of plastic bags as the boys took out their eggs, and threw them at him. Blow, after blow, after blow, the eggs crashed against his chest, his stomach, his legs, his groin. His body was rapidly getting covered in bruises and blood and yolk, and all he could do was stand there. He felt rough hands grabbing him by the elbow and pushing him up against the wall, his face scraping against the bricks. And then he felt the slashes cutting across his back, the repeated strike of rope as the threads seared his bare back. He bit his lip, trying to stifle the sobs that he was sure were trying to break out. Hands pushed him back down to the floor, and before he could even look to see what was coming he felt the hard blows to his stomach. They were kicking him without restraint, sharp hits to the legs, the groin, the abdomen..._

_Then silence. He closed his eyes, willed himself to hang on a little longer. He could hear their laughter and then their feet shuffling as they ran away from the scene of the crime. Bryan was the last to leave. He threw a balled-up plastic bag at him, and stepped back. "Here. At least have some decency to put that on when you're walking home. No one wants to look at fags like you."_

_And just like that, he left._

_Blaine opened his eyes, and finally let the tears fall. His entire body ached. He could feel the blooding pooling in his mouth, the burning cuts across his back, the stinging bruises that covered every inch of his body. The tears fell silently, his eyes blank and void of any emotion, any life. He let out a shuddering breath, and closed his eyes._

x x x

The rest of the week didn't go as painfully as the first day. Karofsky was keeping his distance from Kurt, if anything to make sure that the portrayal of his role was believable. And even though Kurt knew this wasn simply a charade, he appreciated the next four days which went by relatively hassle-free.

"Settle down everyone!" Mr. Schuester said as he walked into the choir room, where the glee club members were arguing about their next song choice.

"All I'm saying is that we should give _Run Joey Run_ another shot because it would showcase all of our talents quite beautifully-" Rachel could be heard saying over the bickering crowd.

"NO!" Everyone shouted in unison.

"Guys, guys, calm down!" Mr. Schuester said as Rachel huffed and sat back down in her seat. "And I'm sorry Rachel, but we won't be doing _Run Joey Run_ again."

Everyone but Rachel sighed in relief. "Actually, since we have time before regionals, I wanted to delve into another theme." Everyone groaned in response.

Mr. Schuester ignored the reaction and kept going. "I want all of you to create a music video." The interest in the group had suddenly spiked. "Oh, so I see I have your attention now?" Mr. Schuester smirked as some people sat straighter in their seats. "This project is honestly meant to be fun, just to give you all a little break right after regionals. But, I do want you to take it seriously. So, to make it even more interesting, we're going to make it a contest."

"What does the winner get?" Santana asked, clearly interested.

"The usual," Mr. Schuester said, smiling. "Dinner for two at Breadstix."

There was a murmur of excitement across the room and everyone turned to face their director. "So...what's the catch?" Sam asked.

"The catch is everyone has to work on their projects individually, and..." he took a moment to pause for dramatic effect, "you have to choose from Disney songs."

The reaction from the crowd was mixed. All of the girls except Santana and Lauren squealed in excitement, while most of the boys, excluding Kurt, rolled their eyes.

"Oh, and one more thing," Mr. Schuester continued, "your music video for the song that you choose has to reflect the movie that it was chosen from. I want all of you to add your own interpretations to the films and make them your own."

Kurt raised his hand, a smile spreading across his face. "Can we use other people in our videos, just as part of the films?"

"Yes, of course. As long as no one else is singing the song with you, it's fine."

Mercedes raised her hand as well. "Mr. Schue, by Disney songs do you mean just from the animated films or any Disney film in general?"

"Any Disney film is allowed. Now everyone, you have the rest of this period to plan out your project. It'll be due next Friday, so you have a whole week to work on it."

Everyone broke into their typical groups to exchange ideas. Tina, Mercedes, Rachel, Quinn and Kurt sat in a circle in one corner of the room, writing a list of all the songs they knew.

"I'm thinking of doing '_A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes'_," Rachel giggled, "it's from my all-time favorite: Cinderella. I'd be able to wear an extravagant princess dress!"

The rest of the girls and Kurt rolled their eyes. "What about you Mercedes?" Tina asked.

"I was thinking of something more jazzy, with attitude. Something like _'We Are Siamese'_."

"Nice choice," Kurt said nodding "Definitely up your alley. Any ideas yet, Tina?"

"'_Reflection'_, from Mulan." She said smiling.

Everyone turned to look at her expectantly. "What?" She said defiantly. "It's not just because I'm Asian, okay? I really like that song!"

"Well, I was thinking of doing '_Someday My Prince Will Come_.'" Quinn said to break the tension.

The girls and Kurt sighed, rolling their eyes at the obvious choice.

"What about you, Kurt?" Mercedes said, turning to him.

"Mine's going to be a secret." He winked. And with that, he got up and walked away getting ready to create his masterpiece. The girls exchanged glances of amusement and continued to argue over what songs they could do.

"Once this is over, I'm throwing a huge party to reclaim my manliness." Puck muttered.

The other boys murmured their agreements and sighed. It was going to be a long week for them.

* * *

><p>Kurt walked down the hallway, his mind reeling with all of the possible songs he could sing. Every name that crossed his mind just reminded him of Blaine, and he couldn't help but blush. He couldn't sing <em>'I Won't Say I'm In Love<em>' because that would be too forward. He walked into the boy's bathroom to check his hair and send a quick text to Blaine, but the moment he stepped in he got quiet. He could hear someone sniffling in the last stall and the moment they heard Kurt come in, they got quiet.

Unsure of what to do, Kurt looked at the other stalls. They were all empty. Was something wrong? He looked again to the last stall and realized there was a letterman jacked hanging over the door. His eyes widened.

He quickly went to the sink, turned on the faucet for about ten seconds and then proceeded to the door. He opened it, counted to five and then closed it, tip-toeing to the first stall so that the person in the last stall wouldn't see him. There was silence for another moment, and then once the person realized he was alone again, the sniffles became more pronounced and Kurt could hear the coughs mixing in with the sobs.

"Fuck!" the guy muttered, punching his own stall causing all the rest to vibrate. Kurt held his breath, listening to the last of the sobs dying down. He heard the click of the lock, and the stall door opening as the boy moved forward to wash his hand and his face.

"_You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream_-" Kurt let out a gasp, his hand flying to his pocket, reaching frantically for his phone. _Shit, shit, shit_, he thought as he pressed the silent button.

"Who the fuck is hiding there?" The boy growled. Kurt closed his eyes, ready for what he knew was coming. The boy walked to the first stall and kicked it open.

"You..." He hissed.

"Look, Karofsky, I was just-" Kurt tried to squeak, but Karofsky had already covered his mouth and was dragging him away.

x x x

_He didn't know how he had gotten home. Maybe it was because he didn't want to remember the looks he'd received on the street, the cat-calls and the stares that he had tried to ignore. He didn't want to think about how he had walked the last three blocks to his house, completely naked with only a black garbage bag to tie around his lower body. To be honest, he wasn't entirely sure how he had even gathered the strength to do it. Every step drained his energy, every movement sent pain shooting throughout his body._

_But he had gotten there, and for better or worse, no one had been home._

_So now he was lying on his bathroom floor, having finally cleaned himself of all the blood and the yolk and the filth that covered his body. He held the razor poised over his wrist, closed his eyes, and slid it across his wrist._

_Blackness engulfed him._

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><p>Please ignore any typos in here, I edited quite quickly to upload it as soon as possible. Hope you liked the chapter and please leave your reviews :) I would greatly appreciate them!<p> 


	6. Vulnerable

Hey guys! I apologize for the long wait on the update. I had intentions of posting Wednesday but I've had a lot of lovely things happen to me in the last few days and I've just been completely distracted. Talking constantly with a cute boy will leave your mind blank :P! Anyways, given my circumstances I figured I'd give you all some relief by writing something slightly sweeter to balance out all the angst that's been going on in the last few chapters. Albeit, this still has its own angst but the end should leave you guys happy :).

Also, I'm going to leave a link to the song used later in this chapter. It's called "Vulnerable" by Secondhand Serenade. The other songs I've used so far are well-known, but this is different so listen to it when you get to that part! Hope you enjoy and please leave me your reviews! (.com/watch?v=Y7Os90luWwc)

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><p><strong>Chapter 6 - Vulnerable<strong>

_"A party?" Blaine asked._

_"Yeah, Puck is throwing us a party. Well, more like he's using us as an excuse to throw a party." Kurt said, holding the phone to his ear._

_"But why would he be throwing a party for us?" Blaine asked from the other line._

_"Oh..." Kurt blushed "He just thinks it's been a while since we've seen each other and he thought it'd be a nice gesture to give us an opportunity to spend some time together. Even though that obviously means he just wants an excuse to invite everyone at school."_

_Blaine scoffed on the other end of the line. Kurt couldn't help but feel the heat rising tohis cheeks. "What?" He mumbled._

_"You can't seriously expect me to buy that right?" Blaine said, stifling his laughter. "Puck? Being considerate? Ha!"_

_"Well do you have any better explanation?" Kurt said defiantly._

_"I bet you've been acting like a lovesick puppy and he got fed up with it, so he used your me-withdrawal as an excuse for the party." Blaine said._

_Kurt managed to scoff in return. "You're blunt. And seriously, me-withdrawal? Really, Blaine?"_

_"What? I do hear I'm quite addicting. It's my charm and my class."_

_"Blaine, you have about as much class as Rachel's wardrobe."_

_Blaine ignored the comment. "So, have you been acting like a lovesick puppy?" Kurt could feel his cheeks burn red and he was suddenly grateful that Blaine couldn't see him._

_"Because I know I have." He continued. "Wes and David are pretty close to locking me out of their dorms."_

_"R-really?" Kurt mumbled._

_"Why do you sound so surprised?" Blaine laughed. "I do spend 24 hours a day thinking about you."_

_Kurt blushed. "Um...anyways, do you want to go or not?"_

_"Considering that it's been at least two or three weeks since I kissed you, of course I want to go."_

x x x

"Look, Karofsky, I was just-" Kurt tried to squeak, but Karofsky had already covered his mouth and was dragging him away.

He pulled Kurt into the janitor's closet just outside the boy's bathroom. He slammed him against the wall and brought his hand to Kurt's throat.

"Listen to me," Karofsky breathed "if you so much as tell anyone about this...you're dead. Got that?"

And Kurt could only nod, every cell in his body had frozen still.

"You disgust me." He spat, bringing his face within inches of Kurt's. "You have no fucking idea-" His voice faltered, as though the tears were coming back to him. Swallowing, he contained himself and looked straight into Kurt's eyes. Slowly, his gaze traveled down to Kurt's lips. His hand gently grazed the the zipper of Kurt's jeans, tugging at it. And Kurt's eyes widened in fear, unable to comprehend what was happening. He trembled as Karofsky's hand traveled slowly up his chest. He was entranced, captivated and unaware of his own actions. His face seemed to move forward involuntarily but before their lips could touch, the spell was gone. He jumped away from Kurt as if he hadn't realized what he was doing. And with one last angry look and a hot tear trailing down his cheek, he punched the wall next to Kurt and left.

Kurt let his back slide slowly down the wall until he touched the floor. His heart was pounding wildly against his chest. His hand shook as he reached for his phone, instinctively dialing the first number that came to mind.

He could hear the beats of his heart echoing in his ear, could feel the sweat trickling down from his forehead. It wasn't until he heard the other voice on the line that he registered what he had just done. _He wasn't supposed to say anything to anyone._

"Kurt?"

But he couldn't reply. His heavy breathing prevented him from forming any words.

"Kurt, are you alright?" Blaine asked, his voice heavy with concern.

"I-" Kurt croaked, but couldn't make any other noise. Before he could stop himself, he was already breaking down in tears and he couldn't even understand why.

"Kurt, what's wrong? Did something happen?"

"I'm...I'm just scared." He managed to croak out. "Please...can you come?" And he knew that he was asking for something unfeasible. He knew that he shouldn't be calling Blaine during the school day but he needed him. He didn't understand what had overcome him in that moment but he needed to be held.

"I...Kurt, are you hurt?"

"No, I'm...I'm fine." Kurt mumbled.

"...Kurt, I'm so sorry but I can't really do anything right now, I don't have the car with me today..." And he could tell that Blaine meant it. He could hear the guilt etched into every word, but there was no use. A sob escaped his lips, unwillingly.

"Look, I can get Wes to drive me. I'll go get him right now and I'll be right there if you need me-"

"Never mind, I'm sorry for bothering you..." Kurt breathed, and hung up the phone. He didn't want to make Blaine feel guilty but he couldn't continue talking on the phone without knowing his boyfriend would be by his side. He couldn't cause Wes and Blaine the grief of driving the two hours to Lima just to talk to him.

He would have to deal with this one on his own.

* * *

><p>"So, what are you doing for the English research project?" Mercedes whispered to him. They were sitting at the computer lab and their teacher was walking behind them, shushing anyone who was talking.<p>

Kurt reluctantly raised his hand to his left shoulder, feeling the bruise. His eyes darkened. He waited silently for the teacher to pass by before he spoke. "Bullying directed at gay teens."

Mercedes flashed him a sad smile. "I understand." She squeezed his hand, and turned to her own computer.

"What about you?" Kurt said, looking through google for news articles.

"I was thinking about doing something on the impact of the media on young girls." Mercedes said nonchalantly. "After what happened last year with Coach Sylvester, I really want to spread awareness."

He gave her a smile. "I'm glad that's over with, Mercedes. I don't want you starving yourself ever again." They shared comforting glances and turned back to their computers.

"What kind of articles are you looking for?" Mercedes asked, peeking at his screen.

"Well I wanted to use articles that hit closer to home. I want to see if I can dig up anything on gay bullying here in Ohio." He said, flipping through the news stories.

"I don't know if you'll find anything Kurt," Mercedes said, "you know how people around here are-"

Kurt cut her off with a sharp gasp. Everyone in the room turned to look at him, but he was too focused to even notice. His eyes quickly skimmed the page, widening at every word.

"Kurt, what-"

"Oh my God..." He whispered, bringing a hand up to his mouth. "It's Blaine..."

"_LIMA, OH - Bullying reached a new level yesterday when a young student was sent to the hospital for several broken bones, internal bleeding and severe wounds. Blaine Anderson, an openly-gay student at Jefferson High School, was cornered in an alley after school. The group of bullies left him unclothed after kicking him repeatedly in the stomach and throwing eggs at him. Anderson refused to make a statement as to who the culprits are and is now being treated for his wounds at the local hospital. 'It's lucky that he's alive," Dr. John McCall commented, "He has a deep laceration across his wrist which caused damage to a vein. Had the bullies gone further, the boy would be dead.'_"

Kurt could feel the tears stinging at the corner of his eyes, he could feel the heat traveling up to his cheeks and tapering off at his ears.

Mercedes was looking at him in disbelief, her mouth wide open. Unable to hold himself together, Kurt stood up shakily and ran out of the room. Before the teacher could even exclaim his disdain, Mercedes had rushed out after Kurt.

"Kurt, wait!" Mercedes yelled, as she saw him running into the choir room. By the time she had reached the choir room Kurt was already sitting on the floor, cradling his knees, too shaken to do anything but stare aimlessly.

"Kurt," Mercedes whispered. She kneeled down next to him, grateful for the fact that they were alone. "You didn't know?"

He shook his head, his throat too dry to speak. His mind flashed back to their argument at the coffee shop that past week. He had yelled at him, told him he had no idea what it felt like to be bullied so severely. But he didn't know, didn't know that Blaine had gone through so much. He always thought it was nothing more than insults, the simple push into the locker that everyone got.

In fact, had he ever bothered to ask the particulars of Blaine's experience? Kurt paled as nausea settled at the pit of his stomach. _I never asked,_ he thought.

He remembered how Blaine had dealt with the situation. Rather than being defensive and arguing back, he had run after Kurt. He even _apologized_, never mentioning the truth.

"God, I feel so sick." Kurt whispered. "I yelled at him...I told him he had no idea what I had gone through..." His voice shook as he spoke, and Mercedes wrapped an arm around him. "And he never said anything...He didn't tell me I was being stupid. God, I was so fucking stupid!" A hot tear trailed down his cheek as the anger overcame him. He reached in his pocket for his phone, but Mercedes stopped him.

"No, Kurt. You can't text him about this." Mercedes said warningly. "If you're going to talk to him about this it has to be in person. You can't just catch him off guard during the day and ask why he never told you about this...Obviously he's been trying to keep it quiet for a reason."

Kurt nodded and put his phone away. "But how..."

"Do something special for him, to show him you care. Then you can talk to him about it." Mercedes gave him a smile.

* * *

><p>"Alright, everyone, how are all of the songs coming along?" Mr. Schuester called from the front of the room. Before anyone could respond, however, Sue Sylvester walked in.<p>

"William, I thought I told you yesterday to wash your hair." She said abruptly.

"I did, Sue. Now could you please leave, you're interrupting-"

"I can smell the butter, William." She glared at him, took out her keys and waved them in front of him. "Looks like someone's car will have to pay the price for your extravagantly greasy hair." And with that, she walked out of the room. Mr. Schuester paled visibly and after immediately excusing himself from the group, he ran after her.

Everyone exchanged glances and began to laugh. Kurt took a deep breath and walked to the front of the room. "I wanted to ask you guys a favor..." He said, his throat still constricted.

The group turned their attention to him.

"I...need to serenade Blaine. And I need you guys to help me..." He mumbled, going red in the face. He watched as Puck and Santana smirked, clearly about to voice their protests.

"Look, bro, I'm all for your gay love, but I don't sing to dudes." Puck said.

Finn shot him a glare.

Kurt sighed and willed himself to keep going. "I just wanted to know if you guys could come with me to his school sometime this week..."

"But Kurt, we have school too!" Rache said. "We can't skip class."

"I know, but this is important Rachel...He..." and he stopped, because he couldn't keep going. He could feel his voice breaking.

Silence followed his words. Mercedes rose from her seat and stood next to Kurt, placing an arm around him. "Look guys, this is really important. We found something today that Kurt really needs to talk to Blaine about and...it's important that we show him Kurt cares, that _we_ care about him."

"Well, what exactly did you find?" Quinn asked.

"Is he pregnant?" Brittany said, tilting her head to the right. "Because if he is, you can tell him it's okay. I can keep his baby if he wants. The stork never dropped mine off."

Everyone stared at her momentarily before turning back to Kurt.

"I don't know if he would want all of you to know, but...the article _is_ public and I'm sure he could use our support." He whispered. He took out a folded sheet of paper from his pocket and handed it to Mercedes, who passed it to Quinn.

"Don't read it out loud, just...pass it around." Kurt mumbled.

He watched as everyone's eyes widened when their eyes began skimming across the page, could see both Rachel and Quinn getting teary-eyed at the words. When the paper had passed to the last person, everyone in the room got quiet.

"So, will you guys help me?"

Everyone looked around in agreement and nodded their heads.

* * *

><p>Blaine was walking down the hall, staring at the floor. He kept racking his brain, searching for the last words he had said to Kurt. Had he said something to offend him? He sighed, and kicked a pencil on the ground as he made his way to the Warblers meeting.<p>

It was Friday and Kurt hadn't talked to him two days. Had he done something wrong? He had called Kurt six times that morning to see what was wrong but he received no answer. His 24 text messages were left unanswered as well.

Just as he was about to turn into the meeting hall, he saw the dean and his assistants running past him. Bewildered, he looked around for anyone else.

"Hey, David, what's going on?" He said as he approached the room.

"Let's just say they've been distracted by a faux-emergency." He smiled.

"What do you mean, distracted?"

"Just follow the music, man."

"What?" Blaine asked in confusion.

"I was just told to relay the message to you, I was never told to make sense."

"What the hell are you talking about-" Blaine said but was cut off by the sound of music. He looked around, unable to place it. Then he realized it was coming from the P.A system. He turned back to David who was just smiling, knowingly.

_Share with me the blankets that you're wrapped in,_

_Because it's cold outside,_

_It's cold outside._

At the sound of the voice, Blaine gasped. "_Kurt_?" He said disbelievingly. "And the whole group?"

_Share with me the secrets that you kept in,_

_Because it's cold inside,_

_It's cold inside._

Blaine turned back to David, his mouth agape. He tried to form words but couldn't find any.

"Follow the music, man." David smiled, and left.

And Blaine started running, his heart beating wildly. The path to the dean's office was far and if he didn't get there in time, Kurt could get in trouble.

_And your slow, shaking fingertips show_

_That you're scared like me, so,_

_Let's pretend we're alone._

_And I know you may be scared,_

_And I know we're unprepared,_

_But I don't care._

His footsteps echoed in the hall as he ran past crowds of people who were all smiling and seemed to be enjoying the music. His heart couldn't help but swell at the sound of Kurt's voice. Surely he had ignored him the two days in order to prepare for this.

_Tell me, tell me_

_What makes you think that you are invincible?_

_I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure._

_Please don't tell me _

_that I'm the only one that's vulnerable._

_Impossible._

But what had caused the sudden serenade? He turned into another hall, hoping he could reach the office in time, praying that the Dean was far away and couldn't hear the commotion. Finally, he saw the office ahead, the door was being guarded by Wes and Jeffrey. They both smiled at him, and he blushed as they stood aside to let him pass. He rushed in through the door, his eyes falling on Kurt first. He was standing behind the Dean's desk, the microphone for the P.A held firmly in his hand. Their eyes met for a second, but Kurt did not stop singing. A small blush was creeping up his cheeks as Blaine watched him.

_I was born to tell you I love you._

_Isn't that a song already?_

_I get a B in originality._

_'Did he just say love?' _ Blaine thought. His eyes met Kurt's and they both blushed. Finally he registered everyone else in the room. Rachel smiled at him as the others sang in the background. She took him by the hand and sat him down in a chair.

_And it's true I can't go on without you,_

_Your smile makes me see clearer,_

_If you could only see in the mirror what I see._

And Blaine watched in amazement as Kurt walked around the desk and stood right in front of him. He was singing directly to him. The bright blue eyes clashed with the hazel, causing Blaine's heart to drum against his chest. Kurt held out his hand and took hold of Blaine's, pulling him up to stand in front of him.

_And your slow, shaking fingertips show,_

_That you're scared like me, so,_

_Let's pretend we're alone._

_And I know you may be scared,_

_And I know we're unprepared,_

_But I don't care._

And slowly, Kurt nodded to the rest of the group and they gave him a smile and left the room. Blaine looked at him quizzically, but Kurt only shook his head and continued to sing.

_Tell me, tell me_

_What makes you think that you are invincible?_

_I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure._

_Please don't tell me _

_that I'm the only one that's vulnerable._

_Impossible._

Blaine could feel the tears slowly stinging at the corners of his eyes, and he couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the sudden rush of warmth he was feeling. Kurt's eyes met his again and Blaine could see a small tear already trailing down his cheek. Suddenly, Kurt started unbuttoning Blaine's jacket. Entranced, Blaine allowed him to continue. Kurt slipped off the jacket and put it aside, singing as he did so. Slowly, he got down on his knees, still looking up at Blaine. He reached his trembling fingers to Blaine's stomach. And finally, realization hit Blaine.

_Slow down, boy, you're not going anywhere._

_Just wait around and see_

_Maybe I'm much more,_

_You never know what lies ahead._

_I promise I can be anyone,_

_I can be anything._

He couldn't stop the tears any longer. He felt the hot drops trailing burning paths down his cheeks as Kurt's hand trembled, pulling his shirt up and slowly running his finger over the cuts on his stomach.

_Just because you were hurt_

_doesn't mean you shouldn't bleed._

_I can be anyone, anything._

_I promise I can be what you need,_

_what you need._

And asking for permission with his eyes, Blaine nodded down at Kurt, whose gaze fell down to the cuts. And his eyes darkened and the tears fell faster as he read the word that was etched in his boyfriend's stomach. He took a pause and slowly leaned in to kiss the scars.

_Tell me, tell me_

_What makes you think that you are invincible?_

_I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure._

_Please don't tell me _

_that I'm the only one that's vulnerable._

_Impossible._

And the silence fell over them as Kurt clicked off the P.A system and kept running his fingers over the scars. He couldn't stop the tears then; they were flowing freely, unable to contain themselves. He looked up at Blaine who was smiling, despite the tears that were also streaming down the sides of his face. And Kurt stood up, cupped Blaine's face in his hands, and before he could realize what he was doing, he leaned in and pressed his lips passionately against Blaine's, his warmth sending goosebumps down the other boy's spine. Their mouths moved with desperation and passion as the tears kept falling down. Something took over Kurt, and suddenly his tongue was sliding across Blaine's lips, asking for entrance. Blaine gave way and for the first time their tongues met, dancing around each other shyly as the electricity ran through both of their bodies.

But Kurt pulled away, the red in his cheeks was stronger than usual. He lowered one of his hands and pulled Blaine closer to him. "We need to go somewhere to talk..." He whispered, as he wiped the tears from Blaine's face. And the other boy nodded, unable to find the words that were hiding from him.

He looked gratefully at Kurt as the boy pulled him out of the Dean's office. Their friends were still waiting outside and all of them were smiling. Blaine waved at them despite looking like a mess. No one said anything about their red eyes, or the fact that they were sniffling as they walked down the hall. They simply waved their goodbyes and allowed the two boys to find a private place to talk.

* * *

><p>Kurt motioned for Blaine to sit down on the bed. They had made their way to the dorms, walking in silence. Slowly, Kurt took out the wrinkled sheet of paper from his pocket and handed it to Blaine. A look of dawning seemed to be sweeping over his face as he quickly skimmed through the article. The tears had stopped now, but his eyes were still red.<p>

"...Where did you find this?" Blaine croaked. He found that his voice was raspy and his throat was still dry.

"We started a research project today...I was looking for articles on gay bullying and...that's what I found." Kurt said softly.

Blaine sat quietly, his eyes glued to the floor. He wasn't sure if he wanted to look up at Kurt. What would he see there? Disappointment? Anger? Hate...? _'No,' _Blaine reprimanded himself, _'He just sang you a song for the whole school to hear...He couldn't hate you.'_

"I...I'm sorr-" Blaine whispered, but he was interrupted.

"No, Blaine." Kurt said as he knelt down and took Blaine's hands. "You're not going to apologize to me. You have no reason to."

Blaine could feel the tears stinging at the corners of his eyes once again. He couldn't bear to look up. "But...I didn't tell you..."

"Look, if anyone's going to apologize it should be me. That day at the Lima Bean, you didn't fight back. You let me yell at you like some pompous idiot!"

Blaine made a motion to speak but Kurt shushed him. "No, you're going to listen to me. I'm sorry, Blaine. You have no idea-" Kurt said, his voice breaking. "You have no idea how sorry I am for saying all of those things to you...I was stupid...I never even asked you-" And he couldn't go on any longer. His voice faltered and he had to look away as the tears ran down his cheeks. Blaine squeezed his hand without looking up.

"I never even asked you what they did..." Kurt shuddered. "I just assumed it was teasing...nothing bad...I've been awful to you, Blaine." And finally Blaine looked up and met Kurt's eyes. The piercing blue eyes looked into the hazel, pleading for forgiveness. Blaine opened his mouth to speak but Kurt stopped him again. He raised his right hand to brush Blaine's cheek, caressing it gently. "You've been here for me for everything...And I haven't done anything for you...I'm so sorry Blaine...But I promise you that's going to change. I promise you that I'm going to protect you..." He paused again to compose himself. Tears were now streaming down Blaine's cheeks as he hung to every word. "I'm going to protect you like you've always protected me."

"Kurt..." Blaine whispered. "You're not...you're not going to leave?" His voice broke and he had to bite his lip to keep the sob from escaping.

Kurt's eyes narrowed with concern. "No...why on Earth would you think that?"

"What they did to me...it broke me, Kurt...You can't want someone so broken...and so disgusting." And Blaine cringed as he said the word, remembering every kick he had received for being the way he was. He shut his eyes, unable to look at Kurt, fearing what he would see.

"Look at me Blaine." Kurt said firmly, cupping Blaine's face with both of his hands. And the boy slowly opened his eyes, his breath held. "What they did to you...it's not your fault. It doesn't make you disgusting and it doesn't make you broken and it doesn't mean you're tainted. You're everything to me Blaine, and nothing will ever change that." He took a pause, making sure to hold Blaine's gaze. "I care about you so much Blaine...I like everything about you and it doesn't matter that you have scars or that you get scared from time to time...You don't have to be ashamed of anything. And you don't have to be scared anymore. I'm not leaving."

Kurt pressed his lips to Blaine's gently, a simple chaste kiss. Then there was no restraining. Blaine broke freely into a mess of tears as Kurt wrapped him into a hug. They stayed like that for a while, Kurt kneeling on the floor and holding on as he let Blaine sob into his shirt. Everything else was forgotten. All that mattered was hanging on to each other, feeling for the first time that neither of them were alone. Then Kurt stood up, and pushed Blaine gently onto the bed. He lied down next to him, allowed him to rest his head on his chest as the sobs tapered off into shudders. And the two lied there together, tear tracks mapped across their cheeks as they drifted off to sleep.

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><p>Hope you enjoyed it! I'll be waiting for your feedback :) And I apologize for any typos, I just wanted this chapter up and running.<p> 


	7. Two Faces

Hey everyone! It's me again. I want to take a moment to apologize for the overdue update. If you don't wanna read this, go ahead and skip this long paragraph and get right to the story! But in the last month I've been really busy. I moved from the US back to my home country, Peru. And while this had been planned for a long time, what wasn't planned was this wonderful boy coming into my life right before I was about to leave. When I left you guys off I mentioned him, and I decided that I just really wanted to put all of my concentration and time into being with him for that last month. So, a lot of crazy things happened and we really enjoyed the time we had together. It's honestly been one of the few times I've ever really "lived in the moment" and you can bet I'm going to use our story as a plot for a future fanfiction. But anyways, I want to apologize again for letting this hiatus go on so long. Now I have more free time and I already have Chapters 8 and 9 done. I will be posting them this week as well to make up for the long time I've been gone. Anyways, excuse me if this chapter isn't all that great. I struggled writing this chapter simply because it's one of those transition chapters. We're nearing one of the biggest turning points in the next two chapters and I just didn't quite know how to make this one work. I do hope it doesn't feel forced – if it does, I apologize, I promise these next two chapters will have your jaws dropping! Anyways, that's enough talk for me. Here you go! Enjoy and review please! I love hearing what you have to say!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 7 – Two Faces<strong>

_He felt disgusted with Karofsky and disgusted with himself. Once again, he shuddered and he rushed down the hallway to the open bathroom to vomit in the toilet. But as he turned into the dark room, he crashed into someone. He fell backwards in the darkness, dizzy from the repulsion and the sudden impact of the crash. He stood up shakily, his face pale from sickness and turned on the light. His gaze fell on the boy standing in front of him, the rims of his eyes were red and there were tear streaks trailing down his cheeks._

_"Blaine...?"_

_The blue eyes met the hazel, but what they found etched across the surface was nothing but disbelief and disappointment. Without thinking, Kurt raised his shaking hand to touch Blaine's cheek but it was slapped away._

"_Don't—"_

"_Blaine, it's not what you think—"_

"_How could you?" Blaine whispered, unable to keep his voice from breaking. He walked past Kurt and rushed down the stairs. He could feel his heart plummeting far below his stomach with every step he took. Every movement caused a stitch at his side, made every breath more painful. He couldn't see where he was going, but it didn't matter. He needed to get away._

x x x

"KURT! OPEN UP!"

Kurt's eyes twitched but he simply rolled over on the bed. _Just five more minutes_, he thought. He felt something shuffling on the bed next to him and opened his eyes. Blaine was lying there, still in his clothes from earlier in the day. It took Kurt a moment to register what was going on. He sat up quickly and looked around. He was still in Blaine's dorm room and it was 6:24 AM? And who was that knocking on the door?

_Shit_, Kurt thought as the dread filled him, _I fell asleep here?_

"KURT HUMMEL, OPEN UP THE DOOR RIGHT NOW OR I WILL BREAK IT DOWN!"

"DAD?" Kurt untangled himself from the sheets and rushed to open the door. Blaine woke up just in time to tame down his hair before Burt Hummel stormed in.

"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'VE DONE?" Burt yelled.

"Dad, I'm sorry, we fell asleep-"

"Didn't even have the decency to call! Do you have any idea how worried we all were? You could have been hurt! You didn't even answer your phone. I've been up all night waiting to hear from you, not knowing anything from you! All Finn said was that you were with Blaine, but to not even call us at twelve? Do you have _any_ idea how worried we've been—"

"Dad, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to—we were here since yesterday afternoon and we just fell asleep—this is our first time waking up since!" Kurt could feel his heart hammering wildly against his chest.

"Yeah, Mr. Hummel, I'm so sorry we didn't get in touch—" Blaine started, but got cut off.

"I don't want to hear another word out of the two of you. What you did was completely irresponsible. I trusted you Kurt and you went behind my back and fell asleep here without my permission. Not only is that completely out of line, but you broke my trust too. "

"But Dad, it's not what you think—"

"You're grounded, Kurt. End of story. Three weeks. And that means no seeing Blaine until the two of you learn to respect my rules."

Kurt looked like he was about to argue back, but Blaine merely shook his head and smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry Mr. Hummel…" He said softly, and he watched as Burt stalked off again, followed by a fuming Kurt.

The two of them stayed silent on the car ride back to Lima. Kurt was far too upset and angry to talk. It was unfair. They didn't mean to fall asleep the entire day! Between the long conversation they had and all of the crying, they just knocked out and suddenly it was next morning. How was that their fault? And why did his dad have so little trust in him?

But there was no use arguing about it. Any back talk would earn him more weeks of punishment and that was already going to be insufferable enough. When they finally got to the house, Kurt rushed in and went down to his bedroom without a single word.

"Is he okay?" Carole asked as Burt walked in. He simply gave her a look and sat down on the couch, covering his face with his hands. Finn, who was sitting in the living room, thought it was best to leave them alone and went down to visit Kurt.

The moment Kurt heard the door open, he got under the covers of his bed. He tried to feign sleep, hoping to avoid having another discussion with his father.

"You can stop pretending like you're asleep." Finn said as he jumped on the lump hiding under the covers.

"FINN! GET OFF!" He shouted, his voice muffled. He wrestled his way out from under the covers and shot his brother a glare.

"So, how was it?" Finn asked with a dopey grin on his face.

"How was _what_?"

"You know," Finn winked. "You two did the deed right?"

"_God_, Finn!" He said with exasperation. "You're disgusting. We barely even kiss," he hissed, a blush creeping up his cheeks.

Finn's face fell in disappointment. "Oh…so what did happen then?"

"I went to talk with him and then we fell asleep."

Finn raised his eyebrow in suspicion.

"Look, we were crying a lot, okay? We laid down on the bed and he was crying and then we both fell asleep. That's all that happened. The first thing to wake us up was Dad."

"How boring," Finn mumbled, getting up. "I thought you'd have a better story." And with that he went back upstairs, disappointment clearly written on his face. He turned to Burt as he reached the top of the stairs and gave him a glum look. "You don't have to be worried, they didn't do anything." And with that, he went upstairs to his bedroom.

Carole laughed out loud and turned to Burt. "I don't know if you should be happy to know nothing happened, or concerned that Finn is so upset nothing _did_ happen." Burt only groaned in response.

* * *

><p>The next few days were long for Kurt. His father had taken away his phone, meaning that it would be nearly impossible to get in contact with Blaine. Even Glee club wasn't helping him keep his mind off his boyfriend.<p>

"Have you decided what song you're going to do for the Disney video?" Mercedes asked him, as everyone was waiting for Mr. Schuester to come into the choir room.

"Well, I have a song in mind but I wanted to have Blaine in my video. Since I can't see him for another three weeks, all of my plans for this video are ruined." He mumbled.

"You could make it a picture slideshow?" Mercedes suggested. Kurt merely gave her a glare.

"Well Kurt, it's not like you were going to show it to him anyways, right? So why does it matter if he's in the video or not?" Rachel asked.

"Actually, Rachel, I considered that I might give it to him as a present."

"Oh, so is it okay for me to show him the other—"

"What?"

Rachel's face paled considerably and she looked around, as if willing the others to help her.

"The other _what_, Rachel?" Kurt said venomously.

"Nothing." Rachel squeaked, but she was saved any more explanation by Mr. Schuester's appearance.

"Okay guys, time to get to work. I brought all the equipment that the A/V club had, so get started. During this period, you're free to roam around to film your videos. Just make sure you're doing your work! Get to it!"

Everyone grabbed a camera and piled out of the choir room. Kurt made his way to the art room, a wonderful idea already sparking in his mind. He knocked on the door and after waiting for a minute, he peeked inside. The entire classroom was empty except for a boy at the far end of the room, his back turned to the door.

"Excuse me, I was wondering if you could help me with something." Kurt said from the doorway. The boy at the end of the room didn't turn around. After a moment of silence, he tried again. "Or…do you know if there's anyone else who can help me? I really need an art student—"

"They're all gone on a field trip." The boy said as he turned around. Kurt let out a gasp. "Come in and shut the door Hummel."

Karofsky was sitting there at the bench, in attire that was completely different from his daily look. Instead of his emblazoned letterman's jacket, he wore a black shirt covered with paint streaks, a smock that was equally covered, and his usual pair of jeans.

Kurt stood in the doorway with his mouth agape. His nerves failed him and he didn't know whether he had enough guts to run right then and there.

"What's the matter? Didn't recognize me without my jacket on?" Karofsky laughed bitterly. There was something different about him. Not only his attire, but in the way his shoulders drooped and the lack of belligerence in his tone of voice. He seemed like a completely different person. His lack of insults were also quite notable, as he usually included them within the first sight of Kurt.

Kurt finally stepped fully into the room and closed the door behind him. He remained where he stood, however. Just because Karofsky was acting weird didn't take away from the things he'd done to Kurt the last time they had an encounter.

"What do you need help with?" Karofsky asked, still looking at Kurt from the other side of the room.

Kurt's voice came out hoarsely, "Oh…well I wanted an art student…"

Karofsky looked at him for a moment, his gaze unreadable. "I am."

"_What_?"

"Why do you sound so surprised?" Karofsky said defiantly.

"Well, I thought all you knew how to do was play football and act like a Neanderthal." The words had escaped Kurt's mouth before he even registered what he was saying. He gasped, covering his mouth in fear. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean—"

"It's cool. Not a lot of people think I'm useful for other things either." He mumbled in response.

Kurt's eyes widened in shock. _What on Earth had just happened?_ He had insulted David Karofsky, the person who got angry at the first sight of Kurt, and nothing had happened. He had expected an outburst, a stampede of punches to come his way – and yet, Karofsky had done nothing. What was going on?

"Who are you?" Kurt whispered.

"I don't know." Karofsky replied. He buried his head in hands and turned away from Kurt.

Kurt took a few steps closer, stopping at an empty table and depositing the video camera. The answer he had received was unexpected and had caught him by surprise. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing. Forget it." Karofsky said, wiping his eyes. "Didn't you want help with something?"

Kurt bit his lip, unsure of where to go from there. What he had just witnessed was by far, the weirdest experience of his life. He didn't know whether to prod further in order to keep this strangely calm Karofsky around, or whether he should stay quiet and allow the crazy lunatic to come back to his senses.

"I'm not going to hurt beat you up, alright? Just tell me what you need help with and I'll do it."

Kurt hesitated for a moment, but he sat down at the empty table anyways. He was still going to keep his distance, just in case, but for the moment this calm Karofsky intrigued him far too much to let him escape.

"Are you any good at drawing?"

* * *

><p>When the week had finally come to a close, everyone bustled into the choir room excitedly. A few overachievers had already presented their final products, (namely Rachel), and finally it was Kurt's turn to present his video. He stepped forward to the front of the room and inserted his DVD into the laptop. He turned on the projector and pulled down the white screen in front of the chalk board.<p>

"Now, as you all know I haven't been able to talk to Blaine in a week." Everyone in the room groaned. They had already had their fill of listening to Kurt's incessant complaints and his pleading to use their phones to contact Blaine.

"I really wanted to use him in my video, but since that was impossible, I had to use the next best thing. I got someone from the art department to help me illustrate my video, and convey this song in pictures. So, without further ado, I present to you, 'You'll Be In My Heart' from the movie Tarzan."

He pressed play and let the music video begin. The background music filled the room as the title and dedication appeared on the screen. "In dedication to Blaine Anderson, the best thing to ever happen to me."

_Come, stop your crying it will be alright._

The first scene was of Kurt walking through a park, singing. He was looking directly into the camera, smiling that special smile that he only reserved for Blaine.

_Just take my hand, hold it tight._

He held his outstretched hand to the camera, and then wrapped his other arm around a tree as he walked around it.

_I will protect you from all around you,_

_I will be here, don't you cry._

He brought his index finger to his lips as if to silence the audience. Then he gave another smile, and pointed up to the tree. The camera moved up, shifting the focus away from Kurt and focusing on the tree. And then suddenly, a picture replaced it. A hand-drawn version of the same tree had appeared, and in it sat a drawing of a person that looked like Blaine. The animation was old-school, it seemed that the artist had drawn several copies of the same image and was flipping a notepad to get the movement across.

_For one so small, you seem so strong._

Drawing-Blaine jumped down from the tree to a boy who was sitting under its shadows. The boy, who appeared to be an animated version of Kurt jumped in surprise but turned to hug Blaine.

_My arms will hold you, keep you safe and warm._

_This bond between us can't be broken,_

_I will be here don't you cry._

The two boys ran around in the park together, spinning around, chasing each other behind trees, occasionally getting a close-up of their shared glances.

_Cause you'll be in my heart,_

_Yes, you'll be in my heart_

_From this day on, now and forever more._

_You'll be in my heart_

_No matter what they say._

_You'll be here in my heart, always._

The two boys fell down on their backs and smiled at each other. One of them pointed to the sky, and the animation shifted to focus on the clouds which slowly turned into memories. The drawing-boys were running down a hall in uniforms, then the scene switched to the two drinking coffee, and then once more to the two sitting on a staircase with Blaine's arm around Kurt, as though trying to comfort him.

_Why can't they understand the way we feel?_

_They just don't trust what they can't explain._

_I know we're different, but deep inside us_

_We're not that different at all._

The scenes kept switching, focusing on different memories. The two animated boys were alone in a room, apparently singing to each other near a fireplace; then they were dancing in some warehouse with foam and bubbles flying everywhere; then they were walking down a hallway hand in hand.

_And you'll be in my heart,_

_Yes, you'll be in my heart_

_From this day on, _

_Now and forever more._

_Don't listen to them, cause what do they know?_

At this point, the scenes turned just to drawing-Blaine, walking down a hallway with a crowd of students looking angrily at him; then the scene turned to him being pushed against a locker; then sitting alone in his room, upset.

_We need each other, to have, to hold._

And out of nowhere, drawing-Kurt walked into the room snapping Blaine out of his bad memories, and he hugged him. The two boys began to slow dance, laughing.

_They'll see in time, I know._

_When destiny calls you, you must be strong._

_I may not be with you, but you've got to hold on._

_They'll see in time, I know. _

_We'll show them together, _

_Cause you'll be in my heart._

Another set of flashbacks followed. The two boys were getting ready for prom, the Warblers were standing in a circle singing to Kurt…

_Believe me, you'll be in my heart._

_I'll be there from this day on, _

_Now and forever more._

_You'll be in my heart_

_No matter what they say._

The animation turned back into the clouds and then shifted down again to the two boys lying down on the grass. They looked at each other, smiled, and then took hold of each other's hands. Then, the animation slowly faded away into a video of Kurt standing next to the same tree and singing directly into the camera.

_You'll be here in my heart,_

_Always._

The ending credits rolled on the screen and everyone clapped. Until—

"Art by David Karofsky?" Finn scoffed.

"_What_?" Puck said in indignation.

"Hold up, hold up – I know I have Karofsky on a leash with the Bully Whips, but…since when are you two buddies?" Santana asked.

The whole rest of Glee club exploded in questions and comments until finally Mr. Schuester calmed everyone down.

"I don't mean to echo everyone else's thoughts Kurt, but I am curious as to how you got Karofsky to do this animation for you, when the two of you aren't exactly on the best of terms." Mr. Schuester said, looking directly at Kurt.

"He apologized to me and offered to help me since I was looking for an art student." Kurt said simply.

"I didn't know he could draw…" Quinn said.

"Draw? I didn't know he had enough vocabulary to apologize." Tina said.

"Can we cut the questions? This isn't a cop show. He just helped me with my assignment, that was all. Who's next?" Kurt said, a sense of finality in his tone of voice.

Everyone in the room gave him a weary look, but no one said another word. Once everyone was done presenting, Kurt was the first to rush out of the room. He didn't want to deal with the questions or the doubt everyone was sure to have. He did admit, it was weird. He, himself, was quite surprised when Karofsky offered to draw for him, especially with his very apparent hate for both Kurt and Blaine. However, something in him seemed to have changed. Kurt couldn't tell what it was, but the violent glint in his eyes was gone, and though he had not seen him smile the last few days, he hadn't had any belligerent encounters either.

So when he rushed out of class looking for Karofsky to tell him the video was a great hit, he didn't expect things to turn around so quickly. He saw him standing next to his locker and approached him with a smile planted on his face.

"Hey, everyone loved your drawings! They really liked the video." Kurt said.

"What are you talking about, Hummel?" Karofsky asked, a look of disgust evident on his face.

Kurt blinked. Unsure of what was going on. "The drawings you made for me…you know, from the other day when you apologized?"

"Listen, fag," Karofsky growled as he closed in on Kurt, "I don't know what you're talking about. Leave me alone and don't talk to me again." And with that, he punched the locker and walked away. Kurt was left standing there in shock. _What was going on_?

Kurt watched walk away and noticed as a small piece of paper fell out of his pocket. He thought to call out to him again, but he didn't want another confrontation. After Karofsky had rounded the corner, he walked slowly to the crumpled up piece of paper and picked it up. His eyes scanned the paragraph written in messy handwriting, occasionally struggling to read smudged words beneath tear stains. His jaw dropped in horror, and he stood there paralyzed to his spot.

"Dear Dad,  
>I'm sorry that things had to end this way. I know you always wanted me to be this strong, incredible football player – but I don't know if I can be that anymore. It hurts to breathe every day that I have to put on this mask. I can't live with this disease that's eating me alive. And I can't bring myself to tell you the truth about it, because it would kill you. The only way to solve it is to kill what's inside of me instead. I'm sorry Dad. I just can't take it anymore. Please know this isn't your fault. I'm only sorry I couldn't be a better man. I'll miss you."<p>

x x x

"_Blaine, WAIT!" Kurt yelled, following after him. He watched as Blaine walked out of the front door and slammed it shut. His actions went unnoticed however. The music was far too loud and the others were far too busy singing and dancing to take note. Kurt left without anyone turning a head in his direction, but that didn't matter. All he wanted was to catch up to Blaine, to explain everything._

_He saw Blaine turning the corner down the street and he ran to catch up._

"_Blaine, PLEASE!" He shouted. Tears found their way to his eyes again as he leaned forward just enough to graze Blaine's hand._

"_Don't touch me—" Blaine breathed, pulling away._

_Kurt's face burned as if it had been slapped. He could feel the heat rising, but he blinked away the tears. "Blaine, please, you have to listen to me…It wasn't what you think!"_

"_I don't want to hear what you have to say Kurt. What I saw was enough." The disappointment hung on every word._

"_Blaine, please. Didn't you hear what I was saying? I wasn't telling him—"_

"_STOP!" Blaine yelled. "Just stop—I don't want to know what you said to him Kurt. Haven't you done enough damage tonight?" And with the tears streaming down his face, he turned on his heel and walked off._


	8. Shattered Memories

I'm going to make this very brief: I apologize once again for the long gap. Been very busy! Studying with a private teacher to help me prepare for my entrance exam to college. Here is the chapter I promised ages ago. Hope you enjoy. Please leave your reviews! I'm very eager to see what you think about this one.

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><p><strong>Chapter 8 – Shattered Memories<strong>

_"My name is Blaine Anderson. I'm your-" Blaine swallowed, took a deep breath, and continued. "I'm your best friend."_

_"I thought David was my best friend..."_

_Blaine grimaced. "H-he is. But I am too."_

_Kurt looked at the ceiling in confusion. "I wish I could remember. I feel like there's so much missing from my life. I don't even know how I got a boyfriend..."_

_"What?" Blaine said immediately._

_"Yeah, I know...When he told me he was my boyfriend, I couldn't believe it. I feel really bad that I don't remember anything. Must hurt him a lot..."_

x x x

It had been Puck's idea. The party, the liquor, the fact that the whole football team had been invited. Kurt had thought about turning down the offer, but it was a weekend and it was the only way he would be able to see Blaine. With their conflicting rehearsal schedules, it had been impossible to see Blaine for almost two weeks and there was no way that Kurt could go another weekend without seeing him. But with all the homework that weekend, Burt had set down the rules. No going out that weekend whatsoever. He wanted Kurt to spend time away from Blaine, especially because he didn't want his grades slipping.

That's when Puck came in.

"Come on, man, are you scared or something?"

"No Puckerman, but I don't want to run the risk of being forced to work in the garage with my Versace coat on as a form of punishment." Kurt huffed, shuddering at the thought of it. "Now please go away, I need to get to class."

He walked ahead of Puck, weaving in and out of the crowd in the hallway. Puck sped up after him, his guitar hanging across his back. "Dude, I knew you were prissy but this is taking it a bit too far. I thought your boyfriend was more important than your clothes, but whatever, I was just trying to help." He mumbled as he walked past Kurt.

"What was that?" Kurt asked in an insulted tone.

"Look, you've been whining for weeks about how you can't see your boytoy. Don't take it personally but everyone's getting tired of it. I just thought you'd like a chance to see him, but if you don't want to go to the party just because your old man will get mad and you don't want to get your clothes dirty, forget it." Puck said, then turned to walk off.

Kurt sighed, and looked down at his bracelet. It had been a while since he had gotten to spend time alone with Blaine. Of course, it wasn't like he would die if he didn't see him. But with everything going on at school lately, he felt that he needed to see him. What was the problem with being a teenager for a night and sneaking out of the house to go to a party?

Then again, his three week punishment had _just_ ended. Two weeks had passed since his house arrest was over, and he'd only gotten to see Blaine once. The rest of the time both of them had been busy with rehearsals. Dare he risk his freedom again just to see Blaine for one night? Kurt bit his lip and with a bracing sigh, he turned around and ran down the hallway.

"Puck! PUCK!" He shouted, trying to catch him before he turned the corner. He reached out his hand and tugged on his jacket. Puck raised a questioning eyebrow. "Let's do it."

"Atta boy! I knew you had the balls." Puck laughed as he clapped Kurt on the back and walked off.

Between dealing with Karofsky's ups and downs in the previous weeks and the ongoing inner battle to speak our or stay silent, Kurt figured he could use some stress relief. He had never quite immersed himself completely in the teenage world, so why not throw caution to the wind and try it for just one night? How bad could it be?

* * *

><p>"A party?" Blaine asked.<p>

"Yeah, Puck is throwing us a party. Well, more like he's using us as an excuse to throw a party." Kurt said, holding the phone to his ear.

"But why would he be throwing a party for us?" Blaine asked from the other line.

"Oh..." Kurt blushed "He just thinks it's been a while since we've seen each other and he thought it'd be a nice gesture to give us an opportunity to spend some time together. Even though that obviously means he just wants an excuse to invite everyone at school."

Blaine scoffed on the other end of the line. Kurt couldn't help but feel the heat rising to his cheeks. "What?" He mumbled.

"You can't seriously expect me to buy that right?" Blaine said, stifling his laughter. "Puck? Being considerate? Ha!"

"Well do you have any better explanation?" Kurt said defiantly.

"I bet you've been acting like a lovesick puppy and he got fed up with it, so he used your me-withdrawal as an excuse for the party." Blaine said.

Kurt managed to scoff in return. "You're blunt. And seriously, me-withdrawal? Really, Blaine?"

"What? I do hear I'm quite addicting. It's my charm and my class."

"Blaine, you have about as much class as Rachel's wardrobe."

Blaine ignored the comment. "So, have you been acting like a lovesick puppy?" Kurt could feel his cheeks burn red and he was suddenly grateful that Blaine couldn't see him.

"Because I know I have." He continued. "Wes and David are pretty close to locking me out of their dorms."

"R-really?" Kurt mumbled.

"Why do you sound so surprised?" Blaine laughed. "I do spend 24 hours a day thinking about you."

Kurt blushed. "Um...anyways, do you want to go or not?"

"Considering that it's been at least two or three weeks since I kissed you, of course I want to go."

"Good. Now all we have to do is figure out what we're going to wear."

"Is it for this Friday?" Blaine asked.

"Yeah. Oh and I think I should also let you know…Karofsky will most likely be there." Kurt muttered.

"What?" Blaine shouted.

"Okay, could you do me a favor and pull the phone away next time you decide to scream?"

"Why on Earth is he invited? Is Puck crazy?"

"Well, Blaine, he is a part of the football team and all of the team is invited. I told you. This is just an excuse for Puck to throw a party and invite everyone at school. We don't really have much to do with it." Kurt sighed.

"Just stay by me the whole night then, I don't want him anywhere near you."

"You know, he isn't all that bad."

Blaine opened his mouth to speak, but couldn't find words. He let the sentence hang in the air before adjusting his voice and continuing. "He isn't all that bad? Did you just say that? After all he's done to you Kurt?" The tone of incredulity was heavy in his voice.

"That's not what I meant—"

"Did you forget about how he used to bully you? Or should I say how he _continues _to bully you, because I'm not dumb Kurt, I know he's still bothering you. Did you already forget how he kissed you in the locker room? All the times he's shoved you into lockers? You know, I just don't get it Kurt. These last few weeks you've been acting really weird about this idiot. After everything he's done, you're defending him and being nice to him!" Blaine went on, breathing heavily.

"What do you mean? I'm not being nice –"

"Oh, cut it out will you? Everyone's seen you hanging around him. Rachel, Finn, Santana – they all call to tell me that they see you spending time with him. What's the deal Kurt? Do you like him?" His rant had come to an end and the silence that followed left an unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach. His heart was racing and his chest was heaving and he could feel the heat rising to his cheeks.

Kurt's throat was dry; he opened his mouth to respond but the words got caught in his throat.

"Kurt…?" Blaine's voice quivered.

"Blaine, I want you to look down at your left wrist. What do you see there?"

"…Your bracelet." Blaine mumbled.

"Exactly. The bracelet I made for you. The one that has our initials and a heart in between. The bracelet I made for the sweetest, most attractive, selfless boy I've ever met. The only boy I have feelings for. And apparently, a boy who's feeling a little jealous right now."

Blaine couldn't help but crack a smile. "I'm not jealous, I'm just—"

"No, Blaine, dear, you're jealous."

"Did you just call me _dear_?"

"Look, the bottom line is I lo—" Kurt coughed, trying to cover up his mistake. "I_ like_ you, and only you. And I haven't forgotten what that neanderthal has done to me. I remember everything. But he's been acting weird lately and I've just been hanging around him to find out why. One moment he's awful and the next it's as if he's a decent human being. If I've been spending time with him it's simply to figure out what the hell is wrong, because I do think there's something wrong. Look, I didn't want to tell you because I didn't know whether to involve anyone else but—Karofsky dropped a note a few weeks ago that wasn't all that pleasant…"

"What do you mean, Kurt?"

"It was a suicide note." He whispered.

"Whoa…what?" Blaine breathed.

"Yeah…This whole sexuality thing seems to really be eating at him. It was addressed to his dad."

"So what did you do?" Blaine asked, highly intrigued.

"Well, that's the thing. I didn't know what the hell to do. I didn't want to show it to anyone in case it just pressured him even more. I just went to talk to Ms. Pillsbury that I thought Karofsky could use some counseling for reasons I couldn't share. And she contacted his father and told him that there was a concerned student that thought Karofsky might be upset and he could use some support. And I guess it's been working because that was right after I got grounded, and he's stuck around what—over a month? He's still acting weird but I think he's okay for now."

"I wish you would've told me, Kurt, I could have helped you." Blaine said softly.

"Except for the part where I had no phone to call you with and I simply didn't want to add any more burdens to your plate. But everything's fine now, it seems. And you don't have to be worried about competition. You already know you're the only one. So can we please move on and figure out what we're going to wear? The party's in two days."

"Okay, okay," Blaine chuckled. "I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions Kurt. But…try and communicate with me, okay? Even if you don't know how to handle a situation, it's okay to tell me."

"I will."

"Okay. Good. Now, how do you feel about bow ties?"

* * *

><p>"I have never liked anyone in this room." Puck grinned as he looked around at everyone. The rest of the crowd glared at him, and everyone took a sip of their vodka. There hadn't been enough liquor present for everyone to take a shot at every statement, so they had to make their resources last as long as possible. (Admittedly, many of them were already buzzed just from the loud music echoing off the walls and the heat of the game).<p>

Kurt looked over at Blaine as he lifted his glass up in recognition and took a sip from his own drink. From the corner of his eyes he noticed Karofsky eyeing him hesitantly before he too, took a sip from his drink.

It was then that comprehension dawned on Kurt. This whole time he hadn't been bullied because of what he was or because Karofsky hated him. Kurt didn't understand how he couldn't have seen it before. The side glances that were thrown his way, the small smiles that were quickly covered up with smirks, the way he would always catch Karofsky watching him...The whole time it hadn't been because Kurt disgusted Karofsky...but exactly the opposite.

He felt as if all of the air had been punched out of his gut. It was a disgruntling realization to make, that someone would hide their feelings for someone else by pushing them, threatening them, and being violent. Kurt almost felt sick at the thought but he was too experienced by now to ignore the problem. If he wanted to deal with Karofsky once and for all, it had to be confronted.

He stood up abruptly, excusing himself to the bathroom while giving a barely perceptible gesture to Karofsky to follow him. Unsure of whether to follow, Karofsky looked up at him and searched Kurt's eyes, seeking an answer. Kurt gave another nod and went up the stairs to the hallway so that they could speak more privately. After a two minute wait, Karofsky also excused himself and went upstairs under the pretense of looking for more hidden liquor.

No one thought anything of the two boys' absence, they were far too intoxicated to care. That is, no one except Blaine, who had seen the interaction of looks and noticed Kurt's gestures towards the boy.

Once upstairs, Kurt pulled Karofsky further down the hall so they wouldn't be overheard. Even with the loud rendition of "Raise Your Glass" coming from the drunk teens downstairs, he couldn't take chances. He stood with his arms crossed and his eyebrows raised expectantly.

"What do you want?" Karofsky spit out.

"Oh cut the act, will you?" Kurt said irritably.

"I don't know what you-"

"Look, I know. I figured it out." Kurt said simply.

Karofsky was getting visibly angrier, unsure of what the hell Kurt was talking about. "Whatever you think you figured out, you're wrong."

"Oh, so you don't like me then? What a pity." Kurt said sarcastically.

The response that followed was unexpected. Kurt barely moved aside in time for Karofsky's punch to hit the wall beside his face. All of the blood drained from Kurt's face as he felt the wall behind him for a way out. There was no escaping unless he called out for help, but he didn't want to be a coward. He swallowed, trying to relieve his dry throat.

"See this is what I don't understand Karofsky!" He didn't know where he got the courage to speak back, but the rant had already begun and there was no way to stop it. "You clearly have feelings for me, but you pull this kind of crap. You push me, throw slushies in my face, threaten me and then try to punch me? You think you can get rid of your feelings for me by beating me up? You think it's going to make me like you any more or make you like me any less?" Kurt hissed at him.

Karofsky brought his face right up to Kurt's, the fire in his eyes dangerously growing stronger. "Shut up." He spit out. "Stop saying that like you know me." He grabbed on to Kurt's shirt collar to make his point.

Under any other circumstance, Kurt would have lost every ounce of pride and courage that he had, but he couldn't hold back. It was as if someone had possessed his mind and taken over his power of restraint. "I'm just trying to help you Karofsky! You owe me, remember? I still haven't told anyone about you being gay! I haven't started screaming for help, because you know my friends would rush here in a heartbeat if they knew something was wrong! So why don't you shut up and listen for once?" Kurt could feel anger bubbling beneath his skin as he hissed every word so that no one else but Karofsky would hear him.

Karofsky's face blanched at this, and he obeyed hesitantly. "You made my life miserable. And still I haven't said a single word to anyone. I could ruin you, I could let you crash and burn but I haven't. The least you could do is to stop taking out your dumb jealousy on me, because it certainly isn't winning my heart over."

"Who said I wanted to win it anyways?" Karofsky laughed bitterly.

"You didn't have to say anything. I've seen the way you look at me. Why are you so stuck in your own little world? God, I can't stand you. You can't accept who you are and you come and take your anger out on me because you like me? What's your problem? You're mad that you have feelings for a guy? You're mad that I'm in love with Blaine and you can't have me?" Kurt pushed Karofsky away from him, unsure about where his sudden strength had come from.

"You're fucking arrogant, faggot." Karofsky shook his head as he talked. "You think I'm actually jealous of you and your dumb boyfriend? I would never look at you even if I was a homo."

"Oh yeah?" Kurt said, breathing hard.

"You're such a prissy know-it-all, you think everyone fucking wants you when you're just pathe-"

Karofsky was taken aback. He didn't know how it happened and he didn't see it coming. But out of nowhere, Kurt had grabbed a hold of his face and pressed his lips to his own. And he felt the chills running rampant up and down his spine, and the bubbling warmth at the pit of his stomach...but just as quickly as it had come, it was gone. And then-

SLAP.

Kurt's face was flushed with anger, he pushed Karofsky into the wall, wiped his own mouth with his arm and looked at him. "You're pathetic. Because if you didn't know you were gay five seconds ago, you know now. Those feelings you just got? Guess what? It means you're gay. I hope you got your answer." He spat on the floor and shuddered, feeling sick to his stomach. "And just so you know, you disgust me."

Kurt turned around and stalked off, his heart still beating a thousand miles per hour. The anger was still bubbling at the pit of his stomach and he couldn't stop his ragged breathing. He had just kissed Dave Karofsky and it was the worst thing he'd ever had to do. He didn't know where it had come from, it just happened. What he did know, though, was that the kiss wasn't out of attraction. He wanted to shut up Dave Karofsky for good. He was tired of the show, tired of the big front he put up, tired of being pushed around because one guy couldn't come to terms with his feelings. Kurt was tired and he decided to close the matter by making it impossible for Karofsky to deny his sexuality any longer. So, he had kissed him, and then slapped him.

He felt disgusted with Karofsky and disgusted with himself. Once again, he shuddered and he rushed down the hallway to the open bathroom to vomit in the toilet. But as he turned into the dark room, he crashed into someone. He fell backwards in the darkness, dizzy from the repulsion and the sudden impact of the crash. He stood up shakily, his face pale from sickness and turned on the light. His gaze fell on the boy standing in front of him, the rims of his eyes were red and there were tear streaks trailing down his cheeks.

"Blaine...?"

The blue eyes met the hazel, but what they found etched across the surface was nothing but disbelief and disappointment. Without thinking, Kurt raised his shaking hand to touch Blaine's cheek but it was slapped away.

"Don't—"

"Blaine, it's not what you think—"

"How could you?" Blaine whispered, unable to keep his voice from breaking. He walked past Kurt and rushed down the stairs. He could feel his heart plummeting far below his stomach with every step he took. Every movement caused a stitch at his side, made every breath more painful. He couldn't see where he was going, but it didn't matter. He needed to get away.

"Blaine, WAIT!" Kurt yelled, following after him. He watched as Blaine walked out of the front door and slammed it shut. His actions went unnoticed however. The music was far too loud and the others were far too busy singing and dancing to take note. Kurt left without anyone turning a head in his direction, but that didn't matter. All he wanted was to catch up to Blaine, to explain everything.

He saw Blaine turning the corner down the street and he ran to catch up.

"Blaine, PLEASE!" He shouted. Tears found their way to his eyes again as he leaned forward just enough to graze Blaine's hand.

"Don't touch me—" Blaine breathed, pulling away.

Kurt's face burned as if it had been slapped. He could feel the heat rising, but he blinked away the tears. "Blaine, please, you have to listen to me…It wasn't what you think!"

"I don't want to hear what you have to say Kurt. What I saw was enough." The disappointment hung on every word.

"Blaine, please. Didn't you hear what I was saying? I wasn't telling him—"

"STOP!" Blaine yelled. "Just stop—I don't want to know what you said to him Kurt. Haven't you done enough damage tonight?" And with the tears streaming down his face, he turned on his heel and walked off.

The heat was quickly rising in Kurt's cheeks. He watched, open-mouthed, as Blaine walked away – unable to do or say anything more. He tried to form words in one last attempt to explain, but no sounds would escape his lips. Everything was closing in. He could feel his stomach dropping, the air around him was constricting. The ground below him seemed to give out and Kurt fell to his knees. He could not make sense of what had just happened. His eyes watched as Blaine turned a corner and walked out of sight. All was lost.

His vision was growing hazier and he let out short, shuddering gasps. Time had stopped and he couldn't make sense of anything. An aching emptiness was consuming him, swallowing him whole and there was nothing he could do to fight it. The hot tears were leaving their burning trails down his cheeks and he gripped his chest with his hand, almost as if trying to hold on to his heart. In just a matter of seconds, everything had fallen apart. He feared that any small movement would break what was left of him completely.

And that's when it clicked. This was his fault. Karofsky's fault. Like a tidal wave, white-hot rage flooded through him, replacing any common sense or emotion. In a second, the emptiness, the aching was all gone – all he could feel was uncontrollable, severe rage.

"Kurt?"

Kurt turned his head, not even bothering to hide the tears that were running down his cheeks. Rachel had followed him, beer in hand and a quickly-fading smile plastered on her face. He got up, letting out a shuddering breath, and walked back towards her.

"Kurt, what's wrong?" Rachel said, hiccupping.

"It's nothing, Rachel, go back to the party." Kurt said dryly.

"But you were—"

"I'm fine, Rachel. It's just a small fight. I'm just going to clean up, you go on ahead." He gave her the most forced smile he could, and she walked back to the party, turning her head every now and then uncertainly, as if unsure whether to continue with the festivities or comfort her friend.

When she had finally walked in, he willed himself to follow. His motions were robotic. One foot in front of the other, unthinking, unfeeling – simply moving. With every step he took a deep breath, trying to control the fury that was bubbling at the pit of his stomach. But his efforts were useless. He felt the heat rising again, the feeling of oncoming tears. He could not control the explosion of feelings that had just occurred inside him. And then, as he reached the side of the house, he could no longer contain himself.

His eyes were filling with tears. He struggled for breath to fill his lungs, leaned against the wall of the house for support. He tried to call out Blaine's name again but his voice was far too broken to come out coherently. That's when it hit. Just like that, everything was done. He had lost the person he cared for the most.

He managed to walk to the open front door, leaning against the frame, trying to ease himself in – until he caught sight of the one person he didn't want to see. He gazed at Karofsky who was staring down at him from the top of the stairs. And suddenly the rage overcame him, spreading like a poison through his veins. He ran up the stairs, pushing Karofsky to the wall.

"THIS IS YOUR FAULT!" Kurt cried, throwing his fist at Karofsky, who dodged it. He grabbed Kurt's wrists and pushed him back against the other wall.

"YOUR FAULT. THIS IS YOUR FAULT." Kurt yelled, his screams drowned out by the continued singing coming from downstairs.

He tried to flail his arms or raise his knee to hit Karofsky but he couldn't move.

"It's your fault, you disgusting coward!" Kurt hissed, fighting against the strength that was now crushing his wrists. But what he said had gone too far. Karofsky slammed him to the floor, anger flooding him beyond his control. Kurt gasped at the impact, but was too late in reacting. Karofsky was already picking him up by his arm and was now dragging him away from the hallway and into a room.

Kurt writhed, trying to hold on to the carpet or the door frame, but nothing seemed to work. What was happening? His throat was constricting and his eyes couldn't make sense of what was going on. Karofsky picked him up by the shoulders and threw him to the bed. Before he could make any movement, any sort of attempt at escape, Karofsky had already knelt over him, holding him down by the wrists.

Kurt's eyes widened in fear as he looked into Karofsky's face. There was something animal about his features, the way his smirk had a maniacal twist and the hunger that had taken over his eyes.

"You're going to regret calling me coward now, fag." Karofsky breathed threateningly. In a single movement, he ripped Kurt's bracelet from his hand and without hesitation, he pressed his lips roughly to Kurt's.

* * *

><p>He didn't know how he had found the strength to stand up. In fact, he didn't even know how he had made it to the hallway. He felt lost. His vision was blurred by the tears in his eyes and every movement he made only reinforced the numbness he felt. His head was pounding and he could feel the air leaving his lungs.<p>

Karofsky had run. After everything was done, he had adjusted his clothes and left the room running, not even bothering to say anything. He left Kurt lying there like a rag doll; he had broken every single piece that was left.

He wasn't sure how he managed to will his feet to keep moving – but he did. All he wanted to do was disappear. He wanted to be _gone_. He wanted to fall right there and then, wanted to pass out and never wake up again. He had lost everything. Patches of black seemed to obstruct his vision and he felt a dizziness flood over him. Just as he reached the top of the stairs, he could no longer support himself. The blackness engulfed him and he collapsed.

The commotion downstairs immediately stopped when Mercedes's piercing scream echoed through the room. It was as if everything was happening in slow motion. The circle of kids in the living room watched as Kurt's body fell forward and tumbled down the stairs. They watched in horror as those few seconds stretched out, as Kurt's head violently crashed against the wall and then against the corner of the bottom step. By the time his body had finally reached the floor, everyone had run to his side.

Finn was the first at his side. His heart was racing and he could already feel tears brimming at his eyes. "KURT!" He knelt down next to his brother and was about to pull him onto his lap but Tina's hand stopped him.

"N-no, don't move him" she said, her voice shaking. "It c-could be dangerous…"

"Oh my god…he's bleeding." Brittany whispered.

Only the glee club seemed to circle around Kurt, the rest of the attendees had bailed in fear. Everyone seemed too shocked to do or say anything.

"GUYS, STOP STANDING THERE LIKE IDIOTS AND SOMEONE CALL 911!" Artie yelled. Everyone jumped and turned to look at him, but his announcement had brought back the common sense to the room. Puck rushed to the phone in panic and Finn frantically punched in numbers on his cell phone to call Burt. Santana had run to the kitchen and grabbed a dishtowel to help stop the bleeding, while Tina, Mike, Sam and Lauren tried to clean up the room and hide the empty bottles of beer before the ambulance got there.

"Rachel…where's Blaine?" Quinn asked softly, tears already running down her cheeks. "You need to go find him." Rachel nodded and ran out the door, and Quinn knelt down next to Finn, placing an arm around him for support.

Rachel 's heart was beating against her rib cage, racing a thousand miles per hour as her feet carried her down the street. She could not make sense of anything, her brain hadn't yet registered what had just happened. She simply turned the corner and silently begged that she would find Blaine in time.

And sure enough, there he was, sitting on the side of the curb, nearly a block away. "BLAINE!" Rachel screamed, her voice dripping with fear and urgency. "BLAINE!"

He looked up, alarmed by the raw fear in her voice. He wiped the tears from his eyes and stood up. Rachel was running towards him and he could already see that her face was a torrent of tears. Dread filled his heart and he held his breath.

"Blaine, it's Kurt!" Rachel breathed as she reached him, her voice far too broken to say anything else. And that was all she needed to say. Without asking, he ran back towards the house, his legs carrying him as if his life depended on it. The pounding of his heart echoed in his ears and he could not form coherent thoughts. When he finally reached the house and saw the limp figure lying at the foot of the stairs, he felt his heart drop.

"KURT! KURT!" He screamed as he rushed to his side. The people in the house were a mess. Everyone was crying. Brittany could not be calmed; Puck continued to shout in anger, waiting for the ambulance to get there.

More panicked voices filled the room with shouts, stifled sobs echoed off the walls, but none of cacophony made sense to Kurt. "KURT!" Someone yelled from far away. "KURT!" He could hear more people screaming out his name, fear evident in their tones. But their voices were distant and the pounding in his ears overpowered the noise. He could see people gathered around him with tears streaming down their eyes. But his vision was becoming unfocused and he could barely make out Blaine's figure right next to him. He tried to speak, but something caught his eye. As he reached out to Blaine, he realized something was missing. His bracelet, where had his bracelet gone? He turned his head to look around, but a sharp pain seared through his body. The last thing he saw before he blacked out was the pool of blood that surrounded him.

* * *

><p>Finn sat in the waiting room with Burt, Carole and Blaine. No one was saying anything. Thankfully, Burt had not mentioned the lack of propriety of the whole situation. He had not yelled nor even chided Finn for going to a party with Kurt behind his back. All he had done was ask what had happened and he had not uttered a single word since. He sat with his face in his hands, leaning on his knees for support. Carole sat beside him, dried tear tracks evident on her face. Blaine sat across them, eyes unfocused and leaning his face against his hand. He had not said a single word either. When Finn had asked where he had gone before Kurt's accident, he wouldn't reply. But it was very clear that both he and Kurt had been crying.<p>

Everyone else had been forced to go home.

After what seemed like hours, the doctor stepped back into the waiting room. Everyone stood up immediately. His grim look didn't bode good news.

"Doctor, how is he?" Burt asked dryly.

"We've just finished stitching up the wound. Thankfully there wasn't sufficient blood loss to cause significant damage, however, I'm sorry to say that your son is in a coma." He let his sentence hang in the air for a few seconds before continuing. "Now, I've seen people come out of comas relatively quickly from injuries worse than that of your son's, so we have high hopes that he'll regain consciousness within the week."

Burt let out a sigh of relief and Carole squeezed his arm. "Will there be any other complications?" He asked.

"For the time being, we cannot be completely sure. It seems that the impact of the injury wasn't too severe so it is very unlikely that he suffered permanent damage, but we won't know for sure until he regains consciousness."

Burt nodded solemnly. "When can we go in to see him?"

"I'll show you to his room."

"I-I better leave…" Blaine mumbled.

"Sweetie, it's alright, you can come in with us…" Carole said softly.

"No, it's fine…it should only be family right now. And I don't really know if I can—" His voice broke before he could finish the sentence. He blinked away the tears that were accumulating. "I'll just come by in the morning…" He whispered, and with a small smile, he left.

* * *

><p>"Hey, pretty boy, what's wrong with you?"<p>

Blaine had been sitting down by himself in the choir room, unable to go to class. He looked up as Santana walked through the door.

"What?"

"You heard me, what's wrong with you? It's been exactly a week and you haven't been to the hospital to see Kurt." She said, anger in her voice.

"I just—I can't…" Blaine muttered.

"Well, if the audacious idiot can drag his ass to the hospital to see Kurt, I'm sure you can too."

"What?"

"Yeah, Karofsky's been to see him. How he has the nerve to show up after everything he's done…I don't know. But I've already dealt with that on my own." She gave him a smile.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, if you weren't skipping class and actually paid attention as you walked through the hallway, you'd know what I'm talking about. I'll just say that I took care of the problem. He got what was coming to him." And with that, Santana left.

Blaine's eyes followed her curiously. He got up and walked out into the hallway. It didn't take him long before realizing what Santana had done. All of the walls and lockers were plastered with posters of Karofsky's face with the words "I'm in the closet" in bold, black letters. His jaw dropped.

"You and your friends are going to pay big time for this one."

Blaine turned his head and saw Karofsky walking down the empty hallway towards him. When he reached the choir room, he merely smirked, and walked on. Blaine wasn't sure what was more daunting; Karofsky's threat or his lack of response to being outed. Either way, he didn't want to find out what would happen.

* * *

><p>That same afternoon, Rachel managed to convince him to go to the hospital. Burt and Carole were busy with work and Finn was going to drop by the house to pick up some of Kurt's things and take them to the hospital.<p>

As they walked through the revolving doors and into the lobby, Blaine braced himself. The fact of the matter was that he was still hurt. He had seen his boyfriend kissing Karofsky; he was conflicted. He was deeply hurt, and even more frustrated that he could not be openly angry at Kurt. He was consumed with worry, fear, anger and pain all at once and he wasn't sure if he was ready to see him again.

But Rachel dragged him into the elevator and to the sixth floor. She pulled him all the way until they reached the door of Kurt's room. Rachel gave Blaine's hand a squeeze. "Are you ready?"

Blaine shook his head, but took a deep breath, braced himself, and pushed the door open. His eyes immediately fell on the pale boy lying in the hospital bed. His heart seemed to ache both with longing and the pang of betrayal. But he could not help himself but feel lured – his feet carried him almost automatically to the boy's bedside. He felt the tears brimming again, but he forced them back. Rachel pulled up a chair behind Blaine and gently sat him down.

"How long do you think it'll be until he wakes up…?" She asked, looking sadly at him.

"I don't know…"

"Blaine…I know it's none of my business, but at the party…I sort of saw what happened. I followed you and Kurt. What were you fighting about?"

Blaine stayed silent. He was not sure whether he wanted to say the dreaded words out loud – it seemed like it would be too final; like admitting it would make everything ten times worse. But at the same time, he was aching to let the words out, hoping someone would understand that he couldn't help but feel angry, even if his boyfriend was comatose.

"Kurt kissed Karofsky." He said, his voice monotone.

"What?" Rachel hissed in disbelief.

"I don't want to talk about it right now…I just…" He couldn't finish his sentence. Rachel merely put her hand on his shoulder and squeezed.

"Well…you know, when Kurt's dad was sick, we sang him songs…maybe you could sing him a song too…"

Blaine shot her a look, but she only smiled encouragingly. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and sang.

_You know I can't smile without you._

_I can't smile without you._

_I can't laugh, and I can't walk,_

_I'm finding it hard, even to talk._

He could feel the hot tears racing down his cheek, but he continued, willing his voice not to break.

_I feel sad when you're sad._

_I feel glad when you're glad._

_If you must know what I'm going through, _

_I just can't smile without you._

The image of Kurt kissing Karofsky shot back into his mind and he had to fight back a sob.

_You came along just like a song, _

_You brightened my day_

_Who'd believe you were part of a dream,_

_That only seemed lights years away?_

_You know I can't smile without you._

_I can't smile without you._

_And you must know what I'm going through,_

_I just can't smile without you._

_Some people say the happiness wave_

_Is something that's hard to find._

_Into the new, leaving the old behind me._

_I feel sad when you're sad._

_I feel glad when you're glad._

_And you must know what I'm going through,_

_I just can't smile without you._

Without warning, he reached for Kurt's hand and squeezed it. And Kurt squeezed back. Blaine's head shot up. Kurt's eyes were fluttering open and Rachel ran to the other side of the bed, squealing. Blaine quickly wiped his face with his free hand and scooted closer. No one said a word, they merely waited for Kurt to take in his surroundings. When his eyes had finally adjusted to the light, he looked from Rachel to Blaine, and back again. He became aware that he was holding someone's hand and he turned back to Blaine.

"Who are you?" He whispered croakily.

Blaine let go of his hand.

* * *

><p>Leave your reviews! :)<p> 


	9. Breakdown

**WARNING**: This chapter contains triggering material. It is very brief and at the very end – but if you feel that it will affect you negatively, please avoid reading the last paragraph.

***KEY NOTE: **Later on in this chapter, there will be some explanations given by the doctor that may or may not seem realistic to you. Know that the doctor's suggestion to let things go on as they are, stems solely from the fact that explaining the truth would lead to a spiral of further questions and even more explanations that Kurt, in his current state, would not be able to deal with. I understand the doctor's advice may seem far-fetched, but to go against it would leave Kurt in a greater state of confusion than before - it is very important that things flow naturally. You will all understand when you get to that point. Also, I am working under the assumption that Burt has allowed open visitation because he cannot be at the hospital 24/7 to approve who can visit and who can't.

I apologize if this chapter seems a bit rushed. I would like to point out that somewhere in the middle there will be an italicized passage that simply acts as a memory that Blaine recalls – it is not a flash forward or a separate flashback. Also, in the very first sequence of this chapter, a flash forward, the part which isn't italicized simply shows that Kurt is remembering something. The song that you will find at the end of the chapter is "Details In The Fabric" by Jason Mraz. I highly suggest you look it up and listen to it once you get to that part. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 9 - Breakdown<strong>

"_You always wear that bracelet." Kurt commented, from his place on the bed._

_Blaine turned to look at him, his smile faltering. Another thing that Kurt couldn't remember. He looked at his wrist for a few moments before turning back with a forced smile. "I haven't taken it off since it was given to me."_

_Kurt beckoned him to come closer. When Blaine had walked around the bed to sit at his side, he pulled his arm to inspect it more closely. He traced the pattern of string around Blaine's wrist until he reached the initials. _

He could feel arms around him and a comforting scent filled his nose. He heard distant voices that seemed familiar to him. "Thank you…" he heard himself say. "For what?" the other voice replied. "For being here with me." He turned to look up into the stranger's face, but there were no features. "I'm always going to be here. For whatever you need."

_Kurt's eyes were unfocused. He hadn't noticed that he had gotten quiet until Blaine put his hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay?"_

_He felt a wave of familiarity wash over him as he heard those words, but just as quickly as it had come, it was gone. "Yeah," he mumbled, "just thought I might have…seen something." He turned the bracelet over and over, fumbling with it as if he didn't quite want to lose contact with it yet. There was something calling him to it. "Who gave it to you?"_

"_Someone very special to me," Blaine replied, looking directly into Kurt's eyes._

"_Who?" Kurt asked._

_Blaine hesitated momentarily and then, trying to keep his voice steady, he said "…My boyfriend."_

"_Oh…" Kurt muttered, an emptiness settling in his stomach. He let go of Blaine's hand rather quickly. He didn't know what had caused this sudden reaction; he felt his throat go dry and the heat rising in his cheeks. "Do I know him?"_

x x x

He felt his legs move before he could even register the words. His feet were carrying him away, every step that he took heavier than the next. The air was quickly leaving the room, He heard distant voices in the background, but the deafening sound of those words echoed over and over in his mind. He could feel his throat constricting and his cheeks growing hotter. Just when he reached the door, the same voice snapped him back to reality.

"…Where are you going?" Kurt asked in a hoarse voice.

Blaine turned to look at him, his eyes burning with the longing to let the tears fall. He looked at Rachel who was just as surprised about Blaine's sudden actions. He swallowed, trying to steady his voice. "I'm going to get the doctors and let them know you're awake. And I have to call your dad and update him on how you're doing." He could hear himself as if he were standing from a distance. His voice was monotone and his face was expressionless – but it was the best he could do. Rachel shot him a pleading glance, but he simply forced a smile at them and left.

He went to the reception desk, asking for Kurt's doctor. His lips were moving automatically, every one of his movements almost mechanical. He felt like he'd left a part of himself in the room; as if his consciousness had split apart from him and it was watching from a distance. He felt himself walk towards the approaching doctor; heard himself explain the situation in the same monotone voice. It wasn't until he had taken out his cell phone and was dialing some number by memory that he snapped back to his senses.

"Blaine? Is something wrong? Did something happen at the hospital?" Burt's worried voice could barely be heard over the sound of the machinery.

For a moment, Blaine felt like he'd lost the function of his mouth. He strained his vocal chords to work. "He just woke up." His voice had come out as a rasp.

"God…" He could hear the relief in Burt's voice. "Blaine, could you do me a huge favor? The boys at the shop have been working on my truck and I have no other way to get there –"

"I can pick you up Mr. Hummel." Blaine croaked out.

"Thank you, kid. I'll be waiting right outside."

His body maneuvered itself down the elevator and out of the hospital. The heavy scent of rubbing alcohol and cleaning supplies followed him past the revolving doors and in search of his navigator. He climbed into the driver's seat, but didn't start his car. His fingers drummed nervously on the steering wheel, and his eyes gazed straight ahead, unfocused.

"_I never thought I'd find someone like you."_

_Blaine turned his head in surprise. Both he and Kurt had been silently studying in Kurt's room, until the taller boy stood up and broke the silence._

"_I honestly don't know what I did to find someone like you." Kurt said, as he approached Blaine who was sitting on the bed. Blaine could feel the blush creeping up his cheeks._

"_Why the sudden sentimentality?" He asked, trying to hide his embarrassed smile._

"_I just don't think I've told you nearly enough how wonderful you've been to me. I'm so glad you came into my life. I lo–" He caught himself before the word was fully out of his mouth. He felt his cheeks reddening, but he quickly mumbled the cover-up. " –like you. I really care about you…and I honestly think you're the best thing that's ever happened to me."_

_Both Blaine and Kurt were blushing intensely. A heavy silence followed. Kurt began to walk away, mentally reprimanding himself for almost letting the L-word slip, but Blaine pulled him back. He had noticed the mishap in his boyfriend's sentences, but showed no sign of acknowledgement. He simply stood up, grasped Kurt's face in his hands and pressed their foreheads together._

"_You have no idea what you've done for me Kurt."_

Blaine tightened his grip on the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. He shook his head, trying to get rid of the memory that had seeped into his mind. With a decisive breath, he started his car and pulled out of the parking lot.

His drive to the shop was a quick one. His limbs moved on automatic; there was no reasoning or conscious effort put into any of his actions. When he finally reached the parking lot outside Burt Hummel's shop, he realized he'd spent most of his drive outside of himself. He didn't even notice when Burt came running towards his car, still wearing his navy jumpsuit full of grease stains and oil splatters. He climbed wordlessly into the car, and Blaine pulled away.

No words were shared on the drive back. Burt could sense that Blaine was not himself, and Blaine was far too busy caught in his own mind to think of anything to say. They drove on in a tense silence. Blaine's face was drained of color, his usually rosy cheeks had worn out to white. The veins on his arms were popping out, and it was taking every ounce of his will power to keep his hands from shaking. The first week that Kurt had been comatose, Blaine had taken off from school. Though his parents had argued with him, he refused to go when all he could do was waste his days worrying. He had considered stopping by McKinley to see the Glee club, maybe get a few of Kurt's things from his locker – but he couldn't bring himself to. Yet finally, on the day he managed to drag himself over, not only had he had an encounter with Karofsky – he'd been forced to go see Kurt only to have every piece that was left of him broken. He bit his lip to keep a whimper from escaping. It wasn't until they were pulling back into the hospital that Blaine realized he should probably inform Burt of his son's conditions.

"Mr. Hummel, there's something I haven't told you yet…" Blaine said softly as he put the car in park.

Burt turned to look at him, concern filling his eyes again.

"…Ku—" Blaine started, but cut himself off. Saying his name caused a pang in his heart. "He…I think he has amnesia."

Burt took off his cap and twisted it in his hands. "What do you mean…you think?" He asked hoarsely.

"When he woke up, he asked me—" Blaine took another shuddering breath. "He asked me who I was." He didn't turn to meet Burt's gaze. He didn't need to look to know he was being stared at with pity. "But…Rachel was in the room with me and he didn't ask about her—so I don't think you need to worry…"

"Well, we better get up to talk to the doctor and see what's going on." Burt said decisively, and opened his car door.

"I think I'm just going to go home." Blaine said before Burt could walk away.

"Nonsense. You're coming up with me." Burt said, and he walked around the car to open Blaine's door for him.

"Mr. Hummel," Blaine muttered, "he doesn't remember me." His voice had cracked midway through the sentence. He bit his lip again, willing himself not to let the tears fall. He had to be strong, he couldn't fall apart again.

Burt kneeled down next to the driver's seat and put his hand on Blaine's which were still fidgeting in his lap. "Listen, kid, he _just_ woke up. Things are going to be hazy for a while, but he's going to remember you. You're the one person who's been by his side no matter what – he's never going to be able to forget you. Yeah, maybe the memories are lost right now, but he'll find them. What you need to do though, is come up so we can listen to what the doctor has to say. But you're not gonna give up on my son, got it?"

Blaine managed a small smile and nodded.

* * *

><p>"He seems to be suffering from post-traumatic amnesia." Dr. Locke said. When his statement was met by very confused stares from Rachel, Blaine and Burt, he continued. "Post-traumatic amnesia often occurs after the patient has had a head injury; such as in the case of your son. Typically, this type of amnesia is transient. The amount of recovery time depends on the severity of the injury, but as his injury was light, it left no damage to his brain. Everything seems to be in order; he reacts to all stimuli and his central nervous system is fine."<p>

"How long do you think it'll be before he can remember?" Burt asked.

"Well, as I said, his injury was minimal. However, the time span is variable to each patient. Your son is suffering from retrograde amnesia, which means that he's forgotten parts of his life before his accident. While it is very likely that he will be able to recover his memories, there is always the possibility that the memories may just be gone." When he saw the stony expression that had settled on Blaine's face however, he cleared his throat. "I do have high hopes for him. I'm assuming it should take anywhere from a few weeks to 3 months to recover his memory completely. It's only an estimate, but considering the lack of damage that was caused, it's quite probable. There are people who have suffered worse injuries than your son and have still managed to recover their memories."

"I understand." Burt said.

"Before you guys go in to see him though, there are things you will need to know about handling the amnesia. It's best to let nature take its course. Do not, under any circumstance, pressure him into remembering something – it will only blur the images in his mind and make it harder for him. This is a process that he has to go through on his own. You should not reference anything or disagree with things that he claims to remember. It could get very messy. If someone suggests an idea that isn't true, it will be nearly impossible to correct it because it will simply confuse the boy. For now, the best thing to do is just try to pinpoint where on the timeline his amnesia started and try to talk about moments before that. If he asks questions, which he most certainly will, it's okay to answer them, but try to make the responses simple. You will be allowed to explain his accident briefly to him, but you'll have to leave out all the details. He must fill those in for himself. It's also very likely that he will get frustrated, but you must let him understand that you cannot fill in his memory for him. I know you will feel powerless, but feeding him information will definitely impair the process."

Rachel glanced at Blaine apprehensively. He didn't meet her eyes. He simply gave a nod to show that he understood the conditions.

"Alright, you can step in now." Dr. Locke said with a smile, and he walked off. Blaine stared after him, wondering how someone could be so nonchalant; so indifferent to the situation. He stayed rooted to his spot, unsure if he was ready to face his fear. But Rachel tugged him, and the two followed Burt into Kurt's hospital room.

"Hey kiddo…" Burt said, taking a seat next to Kurt and grabbing hold of his hand. "How're you feeling?"

Blaine stood in the farthest corner of the room, allowing Rachel to step forward and sit on Kurt's other side. "I have a headache." He said softly.

"Yeah, you hit your head pretty hard, kid. Lucky for us, you're so hard-headed to begin with, it didn't do anything to you." He smiled at his son, squeezing his hand reassuringly. Kurt gave a cordial smile back.

"…Dad, how did I hit my head?"

Burt's eyes flickered to Rachel, who understood. She put her hand on top of Kurt's, making him shift his attention. "There was an accident Kurt. We were at Puck's party and you fell down the stairs and hit your head."

"How long has it been?" Kurt asked, suddenly wide-eyed. "Have I been in a coma? Has it been like 6 months or something—"

Blaine felt the corner of his lip twitch in an almost-smile.

"No, no, kiddo. Calm down— I think you've been watching one too many soap operas." Burt chuckled. "It's just been a week."

"Oh…" Kurt mumbled, his features relaxing.

Just then, Finn came rushing through the door. Everyone's head turned in alarm at the sudden interruption. "Kurt! You're awake!" A smile broke out on his face and he passed Rachel so he could lean down and give Kurt a hug. When he pulled away, Kurt looked stunned and confused. "Sorry I couldn't make it earlier, I just read your text," he told Rachel, putting his arm around her. "I grabbed a couple of Kurt's things from home just in case." He used his thumb to signal the backpack he was carrying.

"Thanks, kid—"

"Wait, what's going on?" Kurt asked, trying to sit up straighter.

Burt turned back in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Why is Finn here? Finn hates me. And what does he mean he brought some of my stuff from home—what's going on?" Kurt said, rushing his words together. Everyone in the room got quiet. Blaine shifted uneasily in his spot; he hadn't expected his amnesia to hit so far back.

"Kurt, kiddo, what year do you think it is?" Burt whispered.

"It's 2009, isn't it?" Kurt asked, confusion clouding his face.

Everyone shared an apprehensive glance. Kurt looked around the room, his eyebrows knitted together. He lifted his hand to the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. "It's not 2009, is it?" He said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"It's 2011, buddy…" Burt said, squeezing his free hand.

"Dad, I thought you told me I had only been unconscious for a week! How is it that I wake up and somehow it's two years later?" Kurt hissed.

"Look at me." Burt said, staring into Kurt's eyes. "I know this might be difficult to hear, but you're suffering from – what was it the doctor said?"

"Post-traumatic retrograde amnesia." Rachel supplied.

"Yeah, that. Now, what those fancy words mean is that you hit your head and you seem to have forgotten everything that happened between 2009 up until now." Kurt opened his mouth in horror, but Burt continued. "Don't worry, though. The doctor says that there's a high probability your memories will come back within a few weeks—"

"—or months" Rachel quipped. Everyone turned to glare at her.

"—yeah, at the most 3 months. But you'll get them back kiddo. Just don't push yourself too hard, okay? I know this is really overwhelming for you, but we'll get you up to speed."

Kurt laid back down, pressing his palms to his forehead in concentration. After a few long minutes of tense silence, he spoke again. "So, let me get this straight. I went to a party, fell down some stairs, hit my head, and now I have amnesia?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry kiddo."

"I still don't get what Finn is doing here." Kurt said, shifting his hands away from his face to look at Finn.

"Kurt…you're my brother now." Finn said softly.

"_What?_" He said in disbelief.

"Finn, let me explain." Burt cut in. "Kurt, you introduced me to Finn's mom, Carole and we got married. We've all been living together for a long time. I know this is going to be hard for you to register, but I promise it'll get easier."

Kurt stayed quiet.

"I know two years is a very big gap, but we'll help you Kurt. It's only the first day. The memories will come back, I know they will." Rachel said reassuringly.

"When did you stop being so arrogant and start being so nice to me?" Kurt asked.

"Kurt!" Burt said.

"No, it's alright, Mr. Hummel. Well, we've both been better friends since the start of this school year Kurt. And if you'd like to know, I'm dating Finn now."

Kurt looked at the two of them. He had a million questions to ask and a million thoughts racing through his mind. Finn was his brother and his dad had gotten remarried and everything had all happened so fast and he couldn't remember any of it.

"Maybe we should let him rest for a while." Everyone turned their faces in surprise – they had forgotten Blaine was still there. "He must be confused. We should just let him be for now. He can ask more questions another time."

"Who are you?" Kurt asked apologetically.

Everyone's eyes were on Blaine. He could feel them, burning in to his skin. Just as he could feel the emptiness consuming him again as those words were repeated. He took a few steps towards the door and opened it.

"It's not important." He said softly, and he flashed a smile. "Just get your rest." And with that last statement, he was gone. The room was left with silence. Rachel immediately plucked Finn's arm off of her and ran out of the room after Blaine.

"Did I say something…?" Kurt asked, confusion evident in his features once again.

"It's alright, kid. You didn't do anything. Just get your rest alright? I'll be right outside if you need anything. You better get home, Finn. Cook some dinner for your mom before she gets home; she's gonna wanna come here straightaway. But make sure she eats." Burt said, squeezing Kurt's hand one last time and standing up to pat Finn on the shoulder. He smiled at his son and left the room with Finn.

Blaine's legs had already carried him into the elevator, down to the lobby and to the parking lot. White noise buzzed in his ears. Every step he took was marked by a painful stitch in his side. He could feel the nausea settling at the pit of his stomach. He felt as though he was being consumed by both numbness and a feeling of overwhelming pain.

"Blaine!" Rachel yelled, running towards him. "Blaine, wait!"

He chose to ignore her. His feet kept moving automatically.

"Blaine – don't be upset, he's going to remember—"

"DON'T!" Blaine shouted, turning around. He felt the sudden rage rushing through his veins. "Don't even–" His voice shook as he pointed a finger at her. "You have no idea – just leave me alone, alright?" And with that, he got into his car, slammed the door shut, and drove off.

* * *

><p>"Hey, man – are you okay?"<p>

Blaine looked up from his seat. Sam was standing next to his table, a fresh cup of coffee held in his hand. He had been sitting, quietly playing with the lid to his coffee cup, head pressed carefully against his fist. He didn't know why he had gone to the Lima Bean, but he had driven there automatically. His mind was far too chaotic to make any conscious decisions.

Sam took a seat next to Blaine when the other boy didn't respond. "I know we haven't talked much, dude, but…if you need someone to talk to, I'm here."

Blaine gave an appreciative smile.

"How's Kurt doing?" Sam asked. "I was hoping to show up tomorrow to visit."

"I don't know if you wanna do that." Blaine said bitterly.

"Why not?"

"Because he won't remember who you are."

"Whoa, what?"

"Lucky for us, he's forgotten everything that's happened in the last two years. So, he doesn't know who we are…" He said, his face growing hotter. And with that, he excused himself and left the store. He couldn't handle breaking down; he had to keep being strong.

* * *

><p>Blaine was on his way to the hospital. He had not been there in a week; he had been unable to go back and face Kurt. He wasn't sure whether he had the strength. But he couldn't hide away forever. He stopped at a red light and looked at the text Mercedes had sent him again.<p>

"I just saw Karofsky walking out of Kurt's hospital room. Thought you might want to know."

He bit his lip and tightened his grip on the steering wheel. Whatever Karofsky was doing there, he knew it couldn't be good. After what Santana had done, Karofsky had vowed to get revenge – and even though Blaine wanted to shut himself inside his dorm room and never come back out, he couldn't leave Kurt alone, especially with Karofsky.

When he finally reached the hospital, he rushed up the stairs and went directly to Kurt's room. Mercedes was just walking out.

"What happened? Did he tell you?" Blaine asked with desperation.

Mercedes pursed her lips together. "You're not going to like it."

"But why—why did they let him in? Kurt doesn't even know who he is supposedly, why was he allowed to visit?"

"Because Kurt felt bad that he couldn't remember you…so when he got a visitor that he couldn't remember, he just told the nurse to let him through. He's …fine though. He didn't do anything to torment him or hurt him, if that's what you think." She said softly.

"Then what—you said I wasn't going to like it—"

"You have to hear it from him, Blaine. Go in there and talk to him. I have to go." Mercedes patted his arm and left. Blaine let out an exasperated sigh and walked into the room. He saw Kurt sitting up with a book in his hands. When he entered, Kurt looked up and smiled.

"Hey, stranger." He said.

Blaine felt his heart break again. "Hey…"

"I'm sorry…" Kurt said, as Blaine took a seat beside him. "I know I should remember you, but I can't. Would you mind introducing yourself to me?"

"My name is Blaine Anderson. I'm your—" Blaine swallowed, took a deep breath, and continued. "I'm your best friend."

"I thought David was my best friend…"

Blaine grimaced. "H-he is. But I am too."

Kurt looked at the ceiling in confusion. "I wish I could remember. I feel like there's so much missing from my life. I don't even know how I got a boyfriend…"

"What?" Blaine said immediately.

"Yeah, I know… When he told me he was my boyfriend, I couldn't believe it. I feel really bad that I don't remember anything. Must hurt him a lot…"

"Wait, who?" Blaine sputtered, throat getting drier by the second.

"David." Kurt said simply.

Blaine could feel his heart dropping. All the air left his lungs and his stomach twisted in knots. This couldn't be happening. It was impossible. He clenched his fist, digging his nails into his palm.

"Shouldn't you already know that?" Kurt asked.

Blaine opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He felt like he was falling; he could feel the nausea overwhelming him again. "I—yeah…I know that." He stammered. A silence fell over the room. Blaine could hear nothing but the pounding of his heart in his ears. He wanted to scream, wanted to burst out right then and there and tell Kurt that he had everything wrong; but he couldn't.

"The good thing is that I get to go home today though." Kurt said with a smile.

"What?" Blaine muttered, completely taken aback.

"Yeah, actually there's my dad and Finn with my clothes." He said, pointing towards the door.

Blaine stood up quickly as he saw the two walk in. "Can I talk to the two of you for a second?" He said with a strained voice. He walked towards them and pulled them out of the room, closing the door behind him.

"What's wrong, kid?" Burt said, following Blaine.

"Get Dr. Locke – we need to go to his office or somewhere private. Right now." Blaine said, refusing to explain.

"I'll get him…" Finn said, and went to the reception desk to ask for the doctor. A nurse led them to Locke's office after a few minutes, and they sat down, watching Blaine pace around.

"What seems to be the problem?" Dr. Locke said as he stepped in the room and closed the door behind him.

"He's been lied to!" Blaine said aggressively.

"Whoa, what do you mean?" Burt asked, leaning forward in his chair.

"Karofsky! He was here today. He's gone and told Kurt that _he's_ his boyfriend. What the hell are we supposed to do? We can't let him believe that!" Blaine shouted.

"What?" Burt yelled standing up. "Karofsky?"

"Please, sit down Mr. Hummel, Mr. Anderson – can you explain to me who this Karofsky person is?"

"That kid bullied my son all last school year for being gay and now he's gone and told my son he's his boyfriend? This is outrageous! We can't let him believe that – we have to do something—" He said, moving towards the door.

"I'm afraid we can't, Mr. Hummel." Dr. Locke said loudly. "What's done is done."

"You can't be serious." Burt breathed, his voice bordering on threatening.

"If this kid has already told your son this piece of information; we can't undo it. Telling him it isn't the truth will only confuse him even more and could affect his recovery time. I'm very sorry to say you're going to have to play along with the game. If everyone runs into his room right now yelling at him about what's true and what's a lie, the poor boy will be even more confused than he already is. You have to understand, he's lost two years of his life – that's not easy to handle. He's in constant confusion; I cannot allow you to further the damage. You're going to have to play the game. I don't know how this person slipped into Kurt's room when no one was noticing, but he'll be going home today so you won't have to worry. However, playing the game means that you cannot bar this kid out of Kurt's life. If he's told him that he's his boyfriend, you can't simply shun him. He's going to have to remain an active part of his life until Kurt comes to his senses. I know this isn't what you wanted to hear – but there's nothing else we can do."

"DAMMIT!" Burt yelled, pounding his fist against the wooden door.

"You should have a talk with that kid. See what he has to say. If he's a bully as you say he is, you might want to keep an eye on him. But for the sake of the recovery of your son, you're going to have to let things be."

Blaine pressed his back against the wall, stunned. He let himself slowly slide down to his knees. He couldn't believe it. After everything, after all that boy had done to Kurt – he'd managed to steal him away one last time.

"Blaine…" Finn said, moving to crouch down next to him.

"Give me your house keys, Finn." He croaked out.

"Give you my—what?"

"Your house keys. I need them." His voice was hollow. He didn't bother looking up; his gaze was fixed on the opposite wall.

"What for?"

"I need to get to your house before Kurt does so I can take down all of my pictures from his wall and desk." He muttered.

"I—" Finn started, clearly showing reluctance.

"Finn, give him the keys. Don't make this harder than it already is." Burt said.

He glanced helplessly at Burt, and reached into his pockets. He pulled out his keys and placed them softly in Blaine's hand. "I'm sorry, man…" He whispered. Blaine stood up and walked out of the room without saying a word.

He ran. He ran as fast as his legs would take him. He paid no heed to the orders not to run in the middle of the hospital. He just needed to leave. Needed to escape the space that was closing in around him. He took the stairs instead of the elevator; he couldn't stand around to wait. His heart was drumming against his chest and the overpowering white noise was buzzing in his ears. He could feel himself falling and there was no floor to crash into this time.

He ran into the parking lot, fumbled with his keys and got into his car. He didn't know why he had been overcome by a sense of urgency – but he couldn't stop himself. He felt like he was racing the clock; or maybe he was just trying to escape the suffocating reality that was slowly swallowing him whole. He pulled out of the parking lot and sped towards Kurt's house. All of the functions in his body seemed to have switched to automatic. His mind had shut down. Nothing made sense to him.

It wasn't until he'd reached the Hummel home that the urgency melted away and he could no longer run from reality. He parked his car, but didn't get out. He knew he wouldn't make it past the door without falling apart. He had been strong for two weeks. He had not allowed himself to cry, to lose hope – but there was no holding back anymore.

He let out a shuddering breath and stepped out of the car. His feet carried him to the front door of their own accord. He did not feel himself testing the keys on the door, did not acknowledge the long walk down the hallway and down the stairs to Kurt's basement room. He did not feel himself moving any limb – he was completely numb.

A soft melody reached his ears though, and he snapped back. His eyes turned to Kurt's iPod in its dock. Finn must have left it on as he was looking for some of Kurt's things to take to the hospital.

_Calm down, deep breaths_

_And get yourself dressed instead_

_Of running around_

_And pulling all your threads_

_And breaking yourself up._

Blaine slowly made his way to Kurt's desk. With a shaking hand, he reached out and plucked the very first picture frame he saw. He could feel his cheeks burning as he stared; it was the picture of the two of them at prom. He threw it to the floor.

_If it's a broken part, replace it._

_If it's a broken arm then brace it._

_If it's a broken heart then face it._

_And hold your own, know your name,_

_And go your own way._

_Hold your own, know your name,_

_And go your own way._

_And everything will be fine._

He followed suit with the next four pictures, throwing them all down to the floor with anger. He felt the tears piling up, ready to spill.

_Hang on, _

_Help is on the way._

_Stay strong,_

_I'm doing everything._

_Hold your own, know your name,_

_And go your own way._

_Hold your own, know your name,_

_And go your own way._

_And everything,_

_Everything will be fine._

_Everything will be fine._

He opened Kurt's drawer, knowing that his shoebox of keepsakes was in there. He grabbed it and went to sit down on the bed. He rummaged through it, his eyes falling on small tidbits of their time together. A note passed in class; a few receipts from The Lima Bean; a yellow feather; movie stubs from their first official date. He shut the box again and threw it down to the ground with a scream. He couldn't hold himself back anymore. The hot, angry tears left burning trails down his cheeks – he fell to his knees, wrapping his arms around his stomach as if to keep himself together. The uncontrollable sobs wracked his body, left him devoid of air.

_Are the details in the fabric,_

_Are the things that make you panic,_

_Are your thoughts results of static cling?_

_Are the things that make you blow,_

_Hell, no reason, go on and scream._

_If you're shocked it's just the fault_

_Of faulty manufacturing._

_Everything will be fine._

_Everything, in no time at all._

_Everything._

He had lost Kurt. He had lost him, for good. He was forgotten; not even a memory. And what was worse was that he had lost him to that monstrosity. There was no reason to keep going.

_Hold your own, know your name,_

_And go your own way._

_Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own)_

_Are the things that make you panic (Know your name)_

_Are your thoughts results of static cling? (Go your own way)_

Hold your own, know your name,

_And go your own way._

_Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own)_

_Are the things that make you panic (Know your name)_

_Is it Mother Nature's sewing machine? (Go your own way)_

_Are the things that make you blow (Hold your own)_

_Hell, no reason, go on and scream (Know your name)_

_If you're shocked it's just the fault (Go your own way)_

_Of faulty manufacturing_

_Everything will be fine._

_Everything, in no time at all._

_Hearts will hold._

He let his fingers run over the scars on his stomach; let himself remember how they got there. Slowly, his shaky fingers reached for the keys in his pocket. He poised his left wrist out in front of him, the horizontal scar that was there calling out to him once again. He suppressed his sobs as he tried to stabilize his right hand over his wrist. But he couldn't. The keys fell to the floor.

* * *

><p>Leave your reviews and tell me what you think! I'm really looking forward to hearing your feedback.<p> 


	10. A Piece of Hope

I apologize for the long wait! I hope you enjoy the chapter and I will be eagerly awaiting your reviews. :)

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 10 – A Piece of Hope<strong>

_He was running. There was nothing left to do. His feet carried him almost automatically to his haven. He smiled bitterly as he thought about it. Any time he was overwhelmed by emptiness, he returned to same godforsaken place; the very place where everything had changed for him. But this time there was no need to leave. He would stay there, let himself rot with the rest of the garbage. There was no longer any point in continuing. His hope had broken with that kiss._

x x x

He wasn't entirely sure how he'd gotten home. He just remembered pulling himself together, shoving all of the broken picture frames and the shoebox of Kurt's things into his backpack, and leaving before he was caught lying on the floor like a broken mess.

He threw the keys on his desk and let himself fall flat on his bed. His eyes searched the ceiling, as if he could find some reassurance or comfort there. It had been years since he'd had such a dangerous breakdown. He hadn't felt the urge to self-harm in a long time, but it had come back. And though he hadn't given in to the impulse, the fact that it had come back at all was cause for concern. He groaned to himself and sat up. Dumping the contents of his backpack on the bed, he began to rummage through them.

He stared at the pile of pictures, little objects and the several bits of scrap paper that had been a part of his and Kurt's world. Should he throw them away or store them somewhere in case Kurt's memories returned? _But the doctor said he would get his memory back_, Blaine tried to assure himself. He picked up a picture they had taken at a photo booth. He felt the tears stinging his eyes again. _What's the point? He already forgot you. Even if he does remember you, you can't make him like you again._

It was crazy to believe that someone could like the same person again. Their slate had been wiped clean. If Kurt didn't get his memories back, the likelihood of the two ending up together was slim. Blaine bit his lip, willing himself not to give in to the tears again. He punched his fist to the bed in frustration. He heard the clattering of something that had fallen to the floor. Looking over the side of the bed, his gaze fell immediately to the plastic CD case.

What was it? Thoughts of Kurt momentarily left his mind. This hadn't been a part of their keepsakes; they had never shared mixed CDs or anything of the sort. He picked it up and inspected it. There was a gold star stuck to the corner of the front lid. Blaine almost smiled. He searched his mind quickly and recalled the vague memory. He followed his mind's eye as he walked with Kurt to the car on his first day back at McKinley – watched as Rachel slipped the case surreptitiously into his hands. The memory felt hazy; broken. It was as if years had passed since that day; since he'd danced with Kurt in the open courtyard, since they had shared chaste kisses or warm embraces.

He opened the case and took out the disc. Not knowing what it contained, he inserted it into his laptop. He took a seat on his bed, back to his headboard and laptop firmly resting on his lap. Almost immediately, Windows Media Player opened up and he saw the video loading. _A video? A video of what?_

"Hello! Rachel Berry here!" She smiled broadly as she held the camera facing her while she tiptoed across the halls of McKinley. Blaine couldn't help but breaking into a small smile. "Of course, you already know that, but that's beside the point. My journalism teacher said that it's important to always present yourself in an enthusiastic and proper manner no matter what the situation—"

Blaine bit his lip, trying to suppress his laughter. Usually, someone was always there to interrupt Rachel before she went off on her rants – maybe she had become so accustomed to it that she had done it herself. But she merely gave an even broader smile and put up her index finger to her lips to signal that she had to be quiet. After a moment passed, she continued, this time in a whisper. "I'm doing some investigation today, dear viewers. I've been following my friend Kurt Hummel to keep an eye on him. You might ask where the interest in that is – but you'd be surprised! I've just caught him doing something he's never done before; something completely unimaginable and uncharacteristic; something so unlikely that my journalist senses told me I must investigate further!" Her voice had increasingly become more passionate, a feat that Blaine considered incredible considering she was still whispering. Rachel looked directly into the camera and paused for dramatic effect. She took a deep breath and continued: "Kurt Hummel is cutting class!"

Blaine snorted and brought his fingers to the bridge of his nose. _Only Rachel._

"Let's take a peek and see how Kurt Hummel acts in his natural habitat." Rachel whispered, and turned the camera to film through the crack in the door of the choir room.

_Natural habitat? How did she go from investigative journalism to animal planet?_ For a moment, Blaine had almost completely pushed his current situation from his mind. He didn't even realize that he had smiled genuinely– something he hadn't been capable of for weeks. But as soon as Kurt's back came into focus, his heart ached again. He was sitting at the piano, poising his hands over the keys.

_Remember those walls I built?_

_Well baby they're tumbling down,_

_And they didn't even put up a fight,_

_They didn't even make a sound._

_I found a way to let you in,_

_But I never really had a doubt,_

_Standing in the light of your halo_

_I got my angel now._

_It's like I've been awakened._

_Every rule I had you breakin'_

_It's the risk that I'm takin'_

_I ain't never gonna shut you out._

_Everywhere I'm looking now_

_I'm surrounded by your embrace._

_Baby I can see your halo_

_You know you're my saving grace._

_You're everything I need and more,_

_It's written all over your face._

_Baby I can feel your halo_

_Pray it won't fade away._

The camera focus shifted. Rachel had tiptoed in unnoticed, setting the camera down on a desk. She made her way to the stands and sat down in a chair. The new angle allowed Blaine to see both Rachel and Kurt. When his eyes landed on Kurt's face, he felt all air leave him. His eyes were closed, but a small blush tinted his cheeks. The tears were making their way to Blaine's eyes. Kurt was singing to _him_.

_I can feel your halo, halo, halo._

_I can see your halo, halo, halo._

_I can feel your halo, halo, halo._

_I can see your halo, halo, halo._

_Hit me like a ray of sun_

_Burning through my darkest night,_

_You're the only one that I want_

_Think I'm addicted to your light._

_I swore I'd never fall again_

_But this don't even feel like falling,_

_Gravity can't forget_

_To pull me back to the ground again._

_Feels like I've been awakened,_

_Every rule I had you breakin'_

_The risk that I'm takin'_

_I'm never gonna shut you out._

_Everywhere I'm looking now_

_I'm surrounded by your embrace._

_Baby I can see your halo_

_You know you're my saving grace._

_You're everything I need and more,_

_It's written all over your face._

Blaine watched as Rachel made her way to the piano. She leaned her elbows against it and listened more closely. In between the tears, another smile found its way to his face. When Kurt noticed Rachel was there, all hell would break loose.

_Baby I can feel your halo,_

_Pray it won't fade away._

_I can feel your halo halo, halo._

_I can see your halo, halo, halo._

_I can feel your halo, halo, halo._

_I can see your halo, halo, halo..._

And just as he predicted, when the song came to a close, Rachel's elbow slipped and banged against the piano, startling Kurt. His face was overcome by surprise, fear, and anger.

"RACHEL!" He shouted, falling back from the piano seat and hitting the ground.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" She said as she ran to him to help him up.

Blaine snickered, shaking his head.

"Jeez, I'm not even back for four hours and you're already acting insane." He muttered as he shook the dirt off his clothes.

She smiled apologetically at him as he took his seat back at the piano. There was an awkward silence during which Rachel looked at him with unreadable eyes and Kurt simply stared suspiciously at her. Blaine waited patiently for them to continue.

"You really like him, don't you?" Rachel said softly.

Blaine felt his ears grow hotter.

"Why don't you sing this to him? You were thinking about him while singing it weren't you?" She asked.

Blaine held his breath, the tears pooling once again at his eyes. If he had not pressed his face so closely to the screen of his computer, he might have missed that almost imperceptible nod. But he'd seen it. There was no denying. For the first time in weeks, he felt a tiny butterfly at the pit of his stomach, beating its wings weakly. He watched raptly, bringing his hand to his mouth, as if he had to keep the butterfly from escaping. Kurt's face visibly turned to gaze at his feet. He was silent for a moment.

"I just...I don't want to go too fast."

"What do you mean?" Rachel said.

"It's been a few months since I first met him, and only three weeks since we started dating...I don't want to mess this up by singing an overly-clingy song for him or suffocating him." Kurt mumbled.

"But singing this wouldn't be overly clingy would it? It's not like you're telling him that you're in love with him." At this, Kurt almost choked. Blaine seemed to have mimicked his actions; an irksome cough had made its way to his throat at the mention of the word.

"...You're not...in love with him, are you?"

Blaine's eyes grew wide. He felt the rhythmic drum beat of his heart pounding against his chest.

"No, no! It's m-much too soon for that. That's why I don't want to give him the wrong idea. It's only been three weeks Rachel." Kurt blushed beet red and then stood up.

Blaine's smile faltered, but he recovered quickly. Kurt was visibly flustered. He bit his lip. Breath held in anticipation, he watched intently.

"Well, listen...It's just a song about appreciation. He was there for you when you needed him right? Maybe this could be your way of saying thanks." Rachel smiled at him, patted him gently on the shoulder and then approached the video camera, picked it up, and left the room quickly. Once she was out of earshot of the choir room, she turned the camera back to herself. "Well, Blaine, there you go. I'm sure you can decode that all for yourself." Then she gave a forced wink, and shut off the camera.

Speechless. No words could come to mind. He seemed to have lost the ability to form any coherent thoughts. The fresh tears gathered at his eyes as he leaned back against his headboard. His face was red and hot; he could almost feel the heat emanating from it. The steady _thump thump thump _was increasingly getting louder in his ears, and he became highly aware that another few butterflies had joined the first at the pit of his stomach. Kurt had been flustered. And Blaine knew that blush all too well. It happened only when Kurt was caught in a lie, or when he was embarrassed.

There was something more. There had to be. And the song! Kurt had sung that song to _him_; _surely_ it was for him. He had to clutch his chest, as if to keep his heart intact. Somewhere in that soft, yet strong voice, he found passion and gratitude and maybe even love. Something in that voice was making his heart grow exponentially; was making the butterflies beat their wings with haste. Somewhere in Kurt's voice, he found hope.

Sure, who was he to say that Kurt did love him? But the possibility of it was enough; Kurt's blush and faltering voice was enough to give him hope and that's all he needed. Because if Kurt had loved him once before, or at least felt strongly enough about him to sing that song, then maybe there was a chance not all was lost. Maybe there was a chance those feelings could simply grow again.

Blaine wiped the tears from his eyes and managed his second genuine smile of the day. He pressed the play button again and watched the video on repeat until he fell asleep.

* * *

><p>"Dad, who was that kid?" Kurt asked, looking up from his plate of mashed potatoes and steak.<p>

Burt shared glances with Carole and Finn, but hesitated in responding. "You mean Blaine, kiddo?"

"Yeah. How do I know him and why does he keep avoiding me?"

"But I thought he sat down to talk to you." Burt said, concern growing in his eyes.

"Well, yeah, but the first few days all he could do was say one thing and then walk out of the room as if my amnesia was contagious or something." He replied, shortly adding: "Or maybe it's because I'm gay."

The reaction at the table was notable. The lemonade Finn had been drinking shot out from his nose and mouth all at once, Carole's fork clattered to the floor and Burt almost choked on a piece of his steak. Kurt looked around the table with annoyance.

"What? You think I'm wrong? He got all uncomfortable when I told him I had a boyfriend and then he went and pulled you two out of the room!" Kurt said indignantly.

Burt's face had grown red from the lack of oxygen and it was only after Carole patted him on the back that he was able to swallow the small piece of steak. He grabbed his own glass of lemonade and drank to soothe himself, then turned to look at Kurt.

"Oh right, I forgot to ask – I'm guessing you knew I had a boyfriend right? Because if you didn't know this is a really awkward way to find out."

The humor that had been clearly painted on everyone's faces seconds before was wiped clean and replaced by anger. Tension hung thickly in the air.

"Did I say something…?" Kurt asked slowly, looking to everyone and waiting for someone to finally respond.

"No, Kurt, it's just—" Burt began, but he was cut off my Finn.

"Okay, we're not seriously going to do this are we?" Finn said, standing up. His voice was loud and had a certain tone of annoyance that surprised everyone at the table. "Kurt, no one is telling you, but Blaine is your –"

"Gay best friend!" Carole yelled, standing up as well. She shot Finn a burning glare. "That's why we thought it was funny. He can't be avoiding you because of your sexuality, sweetie. He's gay too. He's just a little upset right now because you don't remember him. It's hard on him."

She sat down again and reached across the table to place her hand on top of Kurt's.

"Yeah, kiddo. He's been a really good friend to you over the last year. He might be acting crazy, but…it ain't easy seeing your friend get hurt. And it's not easy being forgotten either." Burt said, aiming a kick underneath the table at Finn, who had sat back down and folded his arms defiantly over his chest.

"And I know him how?"

"Sectionals." Finn mumbled, reaching down to rub his shin. "He's in the glee club at Dalton Academy."

"Oh," Kurt said, his eyes returning to his plate. The uneasy silence settled over the room once more. Burt, Carole and Finn glanced at Kurt constantly, as if expecting him to say something more, but nothing came. There was no use in asking any more questions. He had already been told they weren't allowed to give detailed answers. He had to remember everything on his own.

But that wasn't easy. He felt lost. He felt as though he had been plucked from his life and thrown into another. Looking at the people around him, he couldn't help but feel alone. They were strangers, his dad included. He was missing two years of his life; two years with each of these people that he couldn't remember. And people could change a lot in two years. So the people he thought he knew couldn't possibly be the same. His dad was happier; was much more accepting than he remembered him. And Finn; Finn barely even talked to Kurt from what he remembered…yet now they were brothers and apparently close. There were people all around him that he knew and yet didn't know at all. He was lost.

It felt weird that night, walking away from the dinner table and going down to his room for the very first time in weeks. The decoration was different than he remembered it. There were more pictures on his walls, more magazines on his desk. He felt strangely out of place as he looked around; as if he was in another person's bedroom and not his own. It was a moment before he realized there was music playing in the background. His eyes followed the sound to his desk. An iPod was sitting in its dock. When had he gotten that?

Another missing piece of the last two years. He smiled bitterly and approached the mirror that sat on his dresser. The bandage he'd had on his head a week prior had finally come off. The stitches, however, would have to stay until the wound healed completely. He had a good head of hair though; it wouldn't be noticeable.

His eyes raked over his pale features. There were bags under his eyes from the lack of sleep; most nights he stayed awake trying to force the memories to come to mind, but always without success. He brought his hand up to stroke his cheek, and cringed almost immediately. His skin was dry; he'd gone a few weeks without moisturizing. His eyes quickly glanced to the several different bottles on the other side of his dresser. He smiled. At least that was something that hadn't changed in two years; something he knew very well. Even if it was something as trivial as a moisturizing routine, it was his. It was proof that at least a part of him was the same.

Because if anything had plagued Kurt's thoughts more than the frustrations of not being able to remember friends or anything that had occurred in the last two years, it was the thought that he didn't know himself. Two years had gone by, after all. He must have changed as well. And that was the scariest thing – the thing that brought him the most discomfort – he did not know the present Kurt. Did not know how he acted or how he had changed. He didn't know himself.

He turned away from the mirror, and his eyes immediately fell to something on the carpeted floor. The corner of a picture was sticking out from under his bed. That was certainly curious. What was a picture doing underneath his bed?

He approached it with open curiosity, his brows furrowed together as he knelt down to pick it up. The song on his iPod changed. A familiar melody filled the room. He let his ears listen for the words, closing his eyes in concentration.

_The power lights went out_

_And I am all alone,_

_But I don't really care at all,_

_Not answering my phone._

_All the games you played,_

_The promises you made,_

_Couldn't finish what you started,_

_Only darkness still remains._

_Lost sight, couldn't see_

_When it was you and me._

_Blow the candles out,_

_Looks like a solo tonight._

_I'm beginning to see the light._

A picture flashed in his mind. He was standing on a stage, a group of people in navy blue blazers were singing behind him. He turned to his right and there was a figure there, singing alongside him. He couldn't make out his features. It was as if he had been blurred by Photoshop and all he could make out was the blue blazer and gray pants.

And just as quickly as it had come, it was gone. Kurt opened his eyes. Had that been a memory? Or was it just a fiction of his imagination? He tried to recall that brief image, but it had fallen from his grasp. He did not remember what it held. It had come in a second and it had gone, not even leaving a trace of itself behind. He let his eyes fall to the picture that he had not yet inspected. And there he was, standing alongside that boy, Blaine, on a spiral staircase. The two were smiling at the camera; Blaine had his arm around Kurt's shoulders. Both boys were wearing blue blazers with red piping.

Kurt furrowed his brows once more. Where had he seen those blazers before? And why did the place seem so familiar?

He sighed and stood up, trying to ward off the frustration that was quickly settling over him once more. He saw that Finn had already been inside to leave his things on his bed. His cell phone was sitting there.

He wasn't sure why he'd gotten the sudden urge to make the call, but he gave in to it. He found the name on his list of contacts and dialed. It rang a few times before the person on the other end picked up and answered groggily.

"'Ello?" Blaine mumbled.

"Er…Hey, it's—it's me." Kurt said, feeling self-conscious. He could tell that Blaine had just woken up; there was a yawn on the other end of the line. He also heard a voice in the background; a voice singing. "What are you listening to?"

"What?" Blaine said sleepily.

"Blaine, it's me, Kurt. Are you tired? Because I can call another time—"

"KURT?" Blaine yelled, dropping the phone and jumping to his feet. His eyes quickly fell on the laptop that had been next to him on the bed. It was still replaying the video. He threw himself back on the bed and struggled frantically for a few seconds before finally turning off the video. He lunged for the phone as fast as he could. "H-hello?" he stammered.

"Was that me?" Kurt asked.

"W-what? What d-do you mean?" Blaine mumbled, trying to compose himself.

"I thought I heard my voice in the background. Were you listening to something?"

"I—" He paused for a second. "I—yeah…I was watching a video…of you." His voice was low and hesitant. He could have chosen to lie, but with the immensity of the lie they were all forced to tell Kurt, he deserved some honesty.

"Oh…why were you watching it?"

"Well, I was looking through some of my stuff and I found the disc in my backpack. I forgot Rachel gave it to me a long time ago."

"Why would Rachel give you a video about me?"

"Uh…well…because she probably thought it'd be good blackmail for me to use." Blaine said, his throat going dry.

"Oh, is it embarrassing?" Kurt's voice had gone up a pitch.

"More embarrassing than Rachel's wardrobe." Blaine said, a small smile forming on his face.

"God, say no more."

"Are you sure you don't want to hear about how you—"

"Blaine, if it's honestly more embarrassing than what Rachel wears every day, do you really think I want to hear it?" He laughed.

"Okay, I'm exaggerating a little. Rachel just taped you singing without you noticing. It's definitely not gawk-worthy, I promise."

"Well, if it's not that bad, I definitely want to see this video that you fell asleep watching. Maybe it was boring?"

Blaine felt his ears redden. "N-no! I was just…remembering." Silence followed his words. It took Blaine a moment to realize that he was still in the present and that Kurt had in fact lost his memory. For a few glorious moments, it was as if they had gone back to normal – as if this was just another phone conversation. He felt a smile forming on his face as relief washed over him. They could still talk effortlessly and with ease.

"I'm sorry." Kurt said softly.

"Sorry for what?"

"I can't—I can't remember you and…I know it must hurt a lot." Kurt whispered.

"Oh, no Kurt – it's not your fault, you—"

"Wow, scratch what I just said. That probably sounded conceited. I don't actually know if it's hurting you a "lot", I don't really know how close we were—"

"Kurt, stop rambling for a second." Blaine said, sharing a sad laugh. "You don't have to apologize. What happened to you wasn't your fault. And yeah, it is a little hard on me because we were best friends…but don't feel bad about it. You'll remember on your own time."

"…Are we not best friends right now? Did I do something?" Kurt asked.

Blaine froze. He felt his heart drop again as he followed his mind's eye. He saw Kurt and Karofsky arguing at the end of the hall; he saw himself stepping across unnoticed to hide in the bathroom; he watched as he glanced from the doorway to the two boys who were kissing.

"Blaine?" Kurt mumbled.

He shook his head, trying to push the images from his mind. He had only just started to feel better; he couldn't let the butterflies in his stomach leave so quickly. "I—I _am_ your best friend, Kurt. We had…a fight, just before your accident. But…even if I'm a little mad at you, I'm still your best friend."

"What did I do…?"

"Kurt, right now, it's not something you need to worry about, alright? Plus, I think that goes under the list of things I can't really explain to you. You just worry about getting yourself situated back in your life and we'll worry about the details later."

"I don't understand why none of you can just tell me everything that's happened until now. Why do I have to stay up all night trying to remember everything? It's not going to work." Kurt said bitterly.

"It is going to work. You obviously don't know yourself, Kurt. You have such an attention to detail and such an amazing memory, it'd be almost impossible for you not to remember." Blaine said, trying to reassure himself as much as he was trying to reassure Kurt.

"That's exactly the problem! I don't know myself, Blaine. I don't know what kind of person I've changed into over the last two years. I have no clue who I am. I walked into my room today and couldn't even feel like I was at home – the only thing that I know hasn't changed about me is my moisturizing routine. Otherwise, everything else feels completely foreign to me. I feel like a stranger in my own body. This is the only moment I've been able to feel remotely at home—"

"What?" Blaine asked, his heart pounding loudly in his ears.

"I—" Kurt's voice faltered.

"What…do you mean?" Blaine whispered.

"I just—" Kurt could feel the blush creeping up his cheeks. "I've just felt really out of place…and for some reason talking to you makes me feel…normal again." He paused. "I guess that's why you're my b-best friend, right?" He couldn't help but stammer.

Blaine's smile faded to a grimace. "Yeah…best friend."

"Anyways, even if it's terribly embarrassing, I'd like to see the video."

"If you aren't busy tomorrow we could go for coffee and I'll bring my laptop."

"Sounds like a plan." Kurt said.

"By the way, was there any particular reason you called?"

"Oh…I found this picture of us on my bedroom floor…and I just got an urge to call you." Kurt said.

"_What_?" Blaine hissed. "I thought I—"

"You thought you what?"

"I—nothing, nothing. Never mind. I'll text you tomorrow alright?" Blaine muttered.

"Okay. See you later, alligator."

Silence.

"What…?" Blaine said breathlessly.

Kurt fell silent.

"Did you—" Blaine could feel tears stinging his eyes all of a sudden. "Did you remember something?"

"What?" Kurt asked. "No, I just…I didn't really think about it…it just came out."

Blaine stayed quiet, willing himself to regain his composure. He didn't say anything for fear that Kurt would hear the pain in his voice. He was always particularly good at that.

"What is it, Blaine?"

"It's just…that's how we used to end all conversations on the phone. You'd always say 'see you later, alligator' and I would always answer with 'after a while, crocodile.' I just thought that maybe you—" He hesitated. "I guess it's such an ingrained habit that you still said it even though you can't remember it." He forced a laugh.

"Please don't tell me saying something that ridiculous was my idea." Kurt said, laughing.

"Hey, it's not ridiculous!" Blaine said indignantly.

"Oh, so it was your idea. Good. My taste in friends has clearly changed in the last two years." Kurt sighed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Blaine scoffed.

"Nothing. Can we just stick to normal goodbyes?"

"Yeah, sure…" Blaine said, trying to hide the disappointment in his voice.

"Bye, see you tomorrow." Kurt said lightly.

"Bye…" Blaine replied, holding the phone to his ear for a few more seconds before hanging up. He looked to his laptop. Would it be a good idea to show Kurt the video? He bit his lip. It was probably against the rules, but did that really matter? Kurt had let an old habit slip – maybe if Blaine showed him the video he would be able to remember that moment and who he was singing to. And if Kurt remembered, then they could avoid any damage Karofsky was sure to make.

* * *

><p>He sat alone at the park. One hand was wrapped tightly around the small orange bottle; the other was holding a handwritten letter. His eyes were unfocused; he sat staring absentmindedly into space, unaware of his surroundings.<p>

And then he caught sight of him. He was heading in his direction; the dark-haired boy didn't seem to even notice him until he stood up. "Hey…" He began, but the sudden rage that had overcome the boy's face silenced him.

"How—dare—you?" Blaine hissed, taking one step forward with every word. "How dare you have the audacity to even talk to me?" He was now chest to chest with Karofsky.

"I just—" Karofsky began, but Blaine cut him off.

"You fucking asshole—" And suddenly, all control was lost. His fist reared and struck Karofsky's jaw. Karofsky took a step back, raised his hand slowly to his face, and simply stared back.

"What's wrong? You're not fucking man enough to fight back?" Blaine spat, pushing Karofsky back further. "You think you can just walk into our lives and ruin everything?" Another punch, this time to the gut. Karofsky stepped back again, but didn't fight back.

"You're such a fucking coward—" Blaine said, his voice dripping with hatred. He aimed another punch at Karofsky's nose, causing the other boy to hiss in pain. But he couldn't stop himself. "Fight back, coward—" Blaine pushed him, "FIGHT BACK!" One more push and Karofsky was on the ground.

He raised himself up on his elbows, but did nothing. Blaine took a step back and wiped his mouth, trying to steady his breathing. He'd only just realized Karofsky's nose was slightly bleeding.

"Why don't you stand up and fight back like a man?" Blaine asked coldly. "You never hesitated to push Kurt around – what's the difference?" Blaine kicked a small rock on the floor bitterly, but Karofsky stayed quiet. His face was completely void of emotion. It was then that Blaine noticed the dullness in his eyes. There was something wrong. His own eyes flickered to a crumpled piece of paper on the floor and an orange pill bottle.

He bent down to pick up the bottle. "What the hell is this for?" His voice was far calmer, but the hatred was still evident.

"Mood stabilizers." Karofsky said in a monotone voice. "I have borderline personality disorder."

Silence followed. Blaine's eyes widened in shock as Karofsky stood up.

"Look, Anderson," Karofsky began, "I don't know what the hell is going on with me most of the time, alright? I know it's not an excuse. But…I have outbursts and I act on impulse and I barely know what I'm doing or what's going on while it's happening. I just—" His voice broke. He walked past Blaine to sit back down on the bench, pressing his palms to his forehead.

Blaine picked up the sheet of paper that was on the ground. "What's this?" He asked.

Karofsky glanced at the paper and then looked back down. "It's nothing."

"It's a suicide note, isn't it?" Blaine whispered.

Karofsky's head shot up, his eyes widening. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out.

"Kurt…uh, found another one, a while ago. He seemed to be worried about you…" Blaine took a few steps closer and awkwardly stuck out his handkerchief for Karofsky to take.

"I'm stuck between feeling angry and confused and anxious – or feeling absolutely numb…I just—" His voice broke again, but he forced the words out. "I'm exhausted of never understanding what's going on or why I'm so pissed off all the time – I just want to—" He took a deep breath before continuing, "disappear…" He lifted his eyes to look straight into Blaine's. "Kurt's the only one at McKinley who gave me a second chance…I—I'm sorry—"

"Don't make more stupid mistakes than you already have. If you were stupid enough to steal my boyfriend, at least stick around to enjoy him until he remembers me." Blaine said coldly, shoving the pill bottle back into Karofsky's hands. "I'm not going to take pity on you, you know? You've been a complete asshole. But if being around my boyfriend for a while keeps you from being stupid, I'll tolerate it on occasion."

Karofsky gave him an appreciative smile.

"This doesn't mean I hate you any less." Blaine stated.

Karofsky handed him back his handkerchief.

"Keep it." He took one step away. "These mood stabilizers, do they make you act like you're acting now?" Blaine asked.

Karofsky only nodded in response.

"Good. You're not allowed around Kurt unless you've taken your pills. Because if I hear you've done anything to him, _anything_ at all – I won't stop at a bloody nose." Blaine said coldly. With one last glare in Karofsky's direction, he walked away. _Note to self_, he thought, _no more walks to the coffee house._

* * *

><p>Blaine sat alone at a table, taking the laptop out from his backpack as he waited. In hindsight, it probably wasn't a great idea to try to instigate a fight when he had such fragile material on his back. He shut his eyes and pressed his index finger and thumb to the bridge of his nose. <em>You can't lose your temper like that again<em>, he reprimanded himself.

Upon opening his eyes he saw Kurt walking through the double doors. He immediately stood up and approached him, extending his arms as he did so. Kurt walked towards him, but stopped in his tracks. It took Blaine a second to remember that they were no longer together – and Kurt wasn't aware that they usually hugged upon greeting. He awkwardly brought his arms back down to his sides.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Kurt said, his cheeks flushing. "Do we…hug?"

"No, it's fine – I was just—" Blaine stammered. But Kurt stepped forward and extended his arms. He looked uncomfortable and awkward, but Blaine smiled and reciprocated his actions. They quickly wrapped their arms around each other and pulled away. Silently, they moved to the line to order their coffees. When they approached the front, Blaine opened his mouth to speak but was instantly cut off.

"One medium drip and a nonfat mocha, please. Grande." Kurt said automatically. He pulled out his wallet and handed over a couple of bills. Blaine stood rooted to the spot, mouth agape.

"Are you coming?" Kurt called to him as he sat down at their usual table.

Blaine followed him, his heart pounding wildly again. "You know my coffee order?"

Kurt glanced up at him. "What?"

"My coffee order, you just–" He turned back to look at the cash register as if trying to figure out if what had just happened had been real. "And how did you know to come sit here?"

"I think you're psyching yourself out. You were sitting here when I came in, remember? And it's the only table with a laptop on it." Kurt laughed as Blaine took his seat.

"But – the coffee order, how did you know?"

"I—I don't really know. It just kind of…came out." Kurt said apologetically.

"Right." Blaine said, forcing a smile.

"Can you get the drinks?"

Blaine nodded and went to get the drinks. By the time he had come back, Kurt had already pulled his chair beside his own to watch the video.

"And hey, if we're best friends as you say, you don't have to pretend like you're happy when you're not." Kurt said as Blaine handed him his drink. Blaine opened his mouth to speak, but Kurt continued. "It's not that big a deal. I get that it's disappointing for you."

Blaine smiled. "Not nearly as disappointing as—"

"—The warblers shooting down your idea to go with red jackets and blue piping?" Kurt said almost mechanically. He furrowed his brows as the words escaped his lips, an action mimicked by Blaine.

"How did you—"

"To be honest, I have no idea Blaine. I don't know. It's like my brain finds bits and pieces of things that I didn't even know it had. They're not really memories – I don't actively remember things or make connections with them, you know? They kind of just come, like it's something I've heard before. Like déjà vu I guess." He shot another apologetic smile his way, but Blaine waved it off.

"Don't worry about me. I'm fine. The fact that you have these moments that slip out of you is a good sign." Blaine smiled.

"You know, I've never actually asked – where exactly do I know you from and how come you know about Rachel's awful wardrobe?" Kurt wrinkled his nose as he imagined Rachel in his mind.

"One thing at a time. First, the video. And then I'll decide whether I can tell you about our friendship."

Kurt rolled his eyes, but slipped an earbud into his left ear as Blaine plugged them into his laptop. He put on the opposite earbud and pressed play.

Blaine watched Kurt's face the entire time. He opened his mouth in horror at the mention of Rachel following him around; started blushing as he began singing and then turned a much deeper shade of red during his conversation with Rachel.

When the video was done, Kurt sat back in his chair and closed his eyes.

"Did you remember anything?" Blaine asked eagerly, suddenly aware that his throat had gone dry and his heart was pounding loudly in his ears.

"I remember…one thing..." Kurt said slowly. "I was singing it with my eyes closed because I was thinking of someone – but I can't make out the person's face…" He paused for a second. "I guess—I guess I was singing about David…"

Blaine's face went rigid. He tried to keep his voice calm and level. "Yeah, must've been."

Kurt opened his eyes and turned to look at Blaine. "You know, I didn't think you'd show me the video…"

"Why not?"

"Well, isn't it kind of against the rules? Everyone in my house has been positively obnoxious about what they can and can't talk about…" Kurt huffed.

"Oh…right. I guess I just hoped that it would help you remember something. Sometimes we all need a little boost." Blaine smiled at him and turned away. He could feel the tears rising and he shut his eyes, trying to keep his composure.

"Thank you…" Kurt said softly, and put his hand over Blaine's. He too turned away, letting his hand rest there for a few seconds before pulling it away. He felt warmth settling at the pit of his stomach, but couldn't quite pinpoint why. He shot another quick glance at Blaine, whose head was turned towards the window – he couldn't help but notice that his ears were red; he wondered why. And then his eyes fell to Blaine's left hand, where he saw a hand-made friendship bracelet wrapped snugly around his wrist. He felt the same wave of familiarity wash over him, and an unexplainable blush rose to his cheeks. But neither boy noticed; they were far too busy caught up in their own thoughts.

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